Memoirs of a Neurotic

Okay, So, Maybe NOT...

2011-04-01T20:30:00.001-04:00

Okay, it's been awhile. Not exactly what I'd hoped, but hey, I'm better than a couple of my fellow wanna-be-bloggers. I posted TWICE last year! That's a year more recently than at least two of my friends. It's okay; they're busy. By now, one of them has two babies, and another one has number two on the way. So yeah, they've been doing... other things...

Anyway, so I met some new friends and a few of them have blogs, too, so I suppose maybe I was inspired to at least fix my margins here and put up a decent background. I still haven't quite mastered the whole blog background thing, but there's always hope, right? Blogger made a few additions since I last posted. (Really? Additions? Since I posted last YEAR? Wow. I'm surprised.) So maybe I can finally work this out.

Although, every time I go to pick out a new background, I'm surprised with how girlie I've become. The new blue-striped background was me rebelling against the pink. Surely, with a three-year-old who insists that she only wear either pink or purple, I've have enough pink? I'm just glad I painted her room blue. If she stood still against a pink wall, she'd be camouflaged. Her only concessions in her wardrobe are anything with Tinkerbell, Minnie Mouse or a Princess on it. Unless we can get The Princess and the Frog into the rotation, we're never going to see green.

On the other hand, she usually dresses herself -- head to toe. We only argue if she's trying to wear a sundress when it's 36 degrees outside, or when she puts on her fleece outfits when it's sweatin' in the shade weather. One day, she went to school in a blue sundress (covered in purple and aqua butterflies), red socks, and yellow shoes. Hey, she liked it. Who was I to argue?

Besides, the neon yellow "tap shoes" have been a fixture in her life for the past two years. TWO years! When she got them, she insisted on clomping around in them, despite the fact that they in NO WAY fit. I don't know how she pulls it off, but everyone loves them! Maybe it's just her little attitude when she's pracing around in them, but somehow she manages to make it happen. Go figure.

But I'm really concerned about when she outgrows them. It's bad enough when we can't find them in the morning before school. What am I going to do when she's rubbing holes in her feet with them, or when the soles finally fall off? It's going to be a complete disaster. If I'm lucky, I won't end up at Macy's in the middle of the night, banging on their boor, begging for a pair of preschooler-sized pumps. With glitter.

Photo Meme, and I DID IT!

2010-05-06T12:08:00.001-04:00

Okay so I am not so good about chain letter and "forward this on" and related tasks... but I DID ONE!

Becki at Harmony in Motion tagged me and I actually completed one! Yay for me!

Now the rules:

1) Go to your photo files, select the 8Th photo folder.
2) Select the 8Th photo in that folder.
3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4) Then challenge 8 blogging friends to do the same!

This picture (an obviously failed experimentation in self-portraiture) was taken with my friend Ryan Wedderian at a Clemson vs Temple football game, I think. I also think for some odd reason it was at the Panthers stadium in Charlotte. No idea why, but that's what I'm coming up with. The second picture, the one we took just a second later, is one of my favorites.

Maybe I'm Back? Maybe?

2010-04-16T22:04:00.001-04:00

So I haven't blogged in awhile. A lot of things have been going on, I guess. Mostly Cutezilla and being exhausted. And that whole baby-weight thing that's getting more towards not being baby-weight anymore. So I've been working out, hanging with Cutezilla, and spending my evenings cozied up with the hubby while passed out in front of the tv.

Cutezilla has also been on a tear. Maybe it's the Terrible Two's. Maybe it's just her asserting herself. Who knows? But it's KILLING ME. Mostly she just argues with me over EVERYTHING. I mean, not just going places or getting in the car. I mean EVERYTHING. Even after she ASKS me for something, she'll immediately tell me she doesn't want it.

"I NEED MILK."
"NO, I DON'T MILK!!!!"
"MILK! MILK!"
"I DON'T MILK!!!"

After the hubby left for a night (a single night, I might add), she gave me so much crap that I called my buddy and told him if he didn't take her, I was going to completely lose it. He picked her up, and I immediately drove to the library and checked out eight books on child management and discipline. The first librarian was amazing, because for the first time ever, I heard, "Oh yeah, I had one like that. I almost killed her." And it was the best thing EVER. You know why? Because I never hear that. I always hear what I need to be doing, what I'm doing wrong, or my personal favorite, the weird looks that say, "How can you say that about such a beautiful and sweet child! She's so wonderful and affectionate and amenable!"

Because of course, she's an absolute doll for other people. I mean, PERFECT. It makes me crazy. Of course those books say that this means that my child is comfortable in our relationship. They also say that her good behavior for other people is a sign of good parenting. Yay. Yippee. You know what would do her and me some good? A little good ol' fashioned FEAR. Once in awhile, it would be awesome if she thought, you know the crazy lady is close to the line today. Maybe I'll indulge her and eat a green bean. But yeah, not so much.

The second librarian (I talked to at least four that day), as I tried to find a few extra books, "Oh two is such a difficult age, because they just can't communicate."

I said, "Oh no. We don't have that problem. 'I DON'T NURSERY! I DON'T GYM! I DON'T SOCKS! I DON'T DRESS! I DON'T CAR!!! I DON'T [insert anything here, because it's a pretty good bet she "doesn't"]!!!" The lady's mouth dropped open, and she said something like "oh you poor thing", and pulled two more books off the shelf for me.

It's been better lately, though. Not that the books helped. The one book I specifically was looking for "Magic 1-2-3" is basically in-line with the Nanny 911 philosophy. The basics: Time-Outs with three prior warnings. Time-Out early, Time-Out often. Don't talk to the kid while you're doing it. Ask questions instead of lecturing "why it was wrong." Pretty simple, really. Except that we were already doing it. Yay. I just started cracking down on everything. We spent about two days straight doing nothing but Time Out. Over EVERY LITTLE THING. And then she got the idea I wasn't screwing around, I guess.

I've even been giving warnings over asking for the paci. Maybe that seems crazy, but she's making me nuts asking for it over and over again. "Paci? My paci now? Paci? My paci now?" Repeat for 18 hours until bedtime. Just like that with no break or pause. So yeah, I started giving her warnings and Time Outs over that too. I let her ask once, maybe twice, and then I ask "When do we get a paci?" She tells me "Naptime" or "Bedtime," and after that, it's the warnings and Time Outs. And she's severely cut back.

The downside: she now hates her high-chair. (Which is where she ends up when she's in Time-out, unless we're outside of the house.) But she doesn't eat, so it's not a huge loss. I usually just set a plate out on the ottoman or something for her to ignore, and she does just that, in fabulous style.

On a related note, I did also discover that Car Time-Outs are no longer going to work very well, since today I put her in Time Out in the car, and she climbed through the car into the driver's seat, opened the door and hopped out into the parking lot. I know, I know, buckle her in. Right. Do you know how much trouble that is? The hubby weighs another 50 pounds more than I do, and he has trouble getting her in when she fights, so when I tell you it's difficult, I'm not kidding or exaggerating. I've had other people help me hold her down while I got the buckle on her, and even with two people, it's still not easy.

The other thing that has happened lately is I got cleaners to come in and clean while I got to some of the other chores and tasks I've been putting off since before Christmas. Like putting up Christmas decorations that I didn't get around to putting up during Christmas. To be honest, last year sort of got cheated with the Christmas stuff. We went to Iowa for the last week of November obviously, then took a week to go to Florida and see "Mickey's House" as we now call Disney. Then we spent a week and a half at home, then flew back to Iowa for Christmas. Not to mention that we drove to Georgia to fly out of ATL, or that we came back to Greenville via Columbia to pick up the Miata after I blew the engine. So literally, no decorations. Just the [pre-lit] tree, with two ornaments (one from Disney, obviously and one from the company Christmas party) I don't think I even got a tree skirt on the tree. No Christmas cards either. And then we got back to a disaterous house, and Cutezilla hit a serious "search and destroy phase." Not that she was looking for anything in particular; she just wanted to look into everything and pull it apart. Down to the atoms, it seems like some days.

What all this means is that I've been drowning in my life, generally speaking. So for Cutezilla's Spring Break, I sent her to the beach with her Grammy, and hired cleaners and painters and tried to take back my house. I'm still slogging through, but it's somewhat better at least, and I'm still feeling motivated enough to keep going. For the moment.

So why the blog? The Hubby, the sweet incredible guy he is, picked up a new laptop for me at a company auction. So Cutezilla gets her tv, and I get a few extra minutes of internet/computer time per night! Hurrah for amazing Husbands!!! And here I am pounding away at my "new" tiny little keyboard! Cheers!

PS. I can't find spellcheck on the new laptop. You know, just FYI.

Updating The Background For The Holidays

2009-12-19T17:43:00.009-05:00

Learning a little code, so cross your fingers for me. Here is the background I'm hoping to upload!

One-Uping the Husband... And Then Some

2009-11-29T01:18:00.005-05:00

So I get this text message about a week or two ago... "UR TOASTER CAUGHT FIRE. U NEED A NEW ONE. WHILE UR OUT, PICK UP DETERGENT AND LAUNDRY SOAP." Roughly rephrased, but that was mostly it. So I call the Hubby, and he says, "Um... YEAH, about the toaster oven... well, I found the fire extinguisher, and put it out, but yeah, it's gone."

That was a Thursday. Two days later, a beautiful late Saturday afternoon, apparently, I decided to get even. And then some.

Short Version: Ka-BOOM!

Long Version:
Well... It was my last fun run of the day at an autocross. I had better times than most of the boys in my class, C-Street-Prepared -- okay, I had better times than ALL of the boys in my class -- and I was really close to both boys in C-Stock, my previous class before we installed the new radiator. (Yeah, that "improvement" moved me to a different class.) So I decided to go for a couple of fun runs after the event and get my time down a little further... and I did. I got a clean (no cones) run in 32.8 seconds! (0.68 seconds behind the guy in first in the other class, by the way.) It was awesome!... until I came across the line, and suddenly the engine started making some weird noise.

The guy who's been coaching me, immediately motioning me stop. I stopped the car, popped the hood. Apparently to every guy within hearing distance, it was like a homing beacon, and they all came running. Four of them were standing in front of my poor Miata, shaking their heads. (Not a good sign. EVER.) On of the guys, Joe says, "Oh yeah. Cylinder Number Four." Then he looks up at me and says, "Sorry. It's toast." Then he adds, "Don't worry, I did this same exact thing last week. We could probably get you a new engine this week, and have you back on the road by the weekend." Geoff, my coach, says, "Yeah, I could probably pick it up tomorrow, get it to my place and get bearing by Monday." So they got me to wheel it into a parking spot at the Orangeburg Mall where we were holding the event, I locked it up, and that's exactly what happened. Crazy, right?

I called the next day, just to see if he had gotten by the mall to get it, and he says, "Oh yeah, I got it. I took it apart this morning to get a look at what happened. Joe was right. Cylinder Number Four." Awesome. Just awesome. I managed to blow my husband's daily driver to pieces.

But I can't imagine getting more lucky. Half of the guys there had car trailers already, and Orangeburg isn't that far away from Lexington, where both of my aunts live. Additionally, I got a diagnoses in less time than it took for me to get the car to come to a complete halt. Not only that, these guys managed to figure out what was wrong, the parts I needed, how to get them economically, PROCURE all the parts (except for a head gasket) and had it ready to put back together before the week was over. Not only that, he made some "adjustments" to my flywheel on a lathe he had in his shop. It was really cool. Geoff himself is freaking amazing and awesome and wonderful. Seriously.

Now, mind you, I don't have the car back. When I left, they were waiting on the head gasket. So I haven't talked to anyone since I left for Thanksgiving vacation. Not only that, I'm sitting on my in-laws' couch in Iowa, and my phone is dead. Even if it weren't dead, to paraphrase, "I get NO BARS in this tiny little town in the middle-of-nowhere-Iowa!" NONE. Not even a BLIP. There's supposed to be a hot-spot for my service at the Barnes & Noble, but my phone died moments before I got over there. Of course. And I keep forgetting to charge the damn thing up. However, I should be able to do that tonight, get the number and call on the Hubby's phone. Hopefully.

Anyway, so that's the story. I guess I'm even with the Hubby for my toaster oven... and then some, I think.

Thanksgiving Coma Recovery!

2009-11-27T14:10:00.002-05:00

So I gave up my weightloss goal, right? Perfectly timed RIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING, right??? Yeah. Exactly. Oh, and what did I volunteer to do? Yeah. Make dessert. Go ahead and guess what happened? Yup. I made two. Two delicious cheesecakes after I made cheesecake just LAST WEEK for the guy who's helping put back together my engine. (Oh, did I mention I blew up my car? No? Another post then, promise!) And not just ANY cheesecake. One Paula Deen recipe. You ever notice that all of her recipes (and The Barefoot Contessa's) usually include four sticks of butter? Yeah. But damn, it was delicious. But how could Apple Pie Cheesecake NOT be delicious? I mean, seriously, go ahead and read that again without drooling: APPLE PIE CHEESECAKE. See?

The second cheesecake? Pumpkin, also a tribute to the traditional desserts. I figured I couldn't get too out-of-the-box here, being a Traditional holiday, and all. Sometimes it's better not to mess around with a proven thing. Which is probably why we always have turkey... Dressing/stuffing directly from the bird? How could it be any better?

My mother-in-law did a great job as always, especially considering her normal partner-in-crime went to California this year to spend the holiday with her kids. But I think my favorite part is always the stuffing from the bird. I really wonder why it's called dressing in some areas. Especially since it's never really on the OUTSIDE of the bird. But it's still delicious, no matter what you call it. My family always have a HUGE get-together way out in the woods on the family property. Somewhere between forty and sixty people usually show up, which means it ends up like your wedding day: you see about five minutes of everyone, but never actually get to just hang out and spend quality time. My in-laws, on the other hand, spend the whole holiday (all four days, not just the three hours before and after the meal, together, and all in one house, so it's really nice and cozy.

The downside of Thanksgiving for me: it's in Iowa. And Iowa, if you have never been there, usually looks like how I imagine the tundra of Alaska: completely frozen solid and covered in white stuff. (Fact: when we returned to their house after visiting relatives in Missouri, the top of the Jeep's hood scraped along a wall of snow, and my father-in-law actually said, "WOW. We hardly got any snow at all!") Not that I have anything against snow. In fact, snow is pretty cool itself, especially since, being from the South, we don't get a lot. But it's still freezing, and the wind is pretty vicious. The few times I've been here in summer, it was like a wind tunnel, and it never let up.

However this year, my in-laws installed a hot tub. A FREAKING HOT TUB WITH MASSAGE JETS!!! It's the most wonderful thing ever. It even has massage jets for your feet. So the last few nights, I've spent outside in the thirty-degree night (fairly warm for Iowa at this time of year, honestly) sitting in the dark in the steamy hot water up to my nose, staring up at the stars while the steam billows up into these columns above my head, then disappears into the night sky. It's amazingly calming. The jets are so strong I have to wedge myself into the seat so I don't get shot out across the tub. And I don't have to badger anyone to rub my neck or shoulders or back or anything, and I even get that weird little place just above my tailbone massaged. Again: freaking fantastic. The really interesting part: the deck on the way to the hot tub was covered in ice from where we had gotten water on it, making the trip into the hot tub just a little thrilling.

But yeah, so Thanksgiving Dinner (turkey + stuffing + gravy + rolls + mashed potatoes + corn + sweet potatoes) plus Beer plus Wine plus Dessert (Cheesecake*2) plus HOT TUB = Three Day Coma. This year, Thanksgiving has been really stupendous. We can definitely make this a repeat experience.

Sleep Update

2009-11-10T10:07:00.004-05:00

I was going to say how wonderful it was the past few weeks with my daughter sleeping through the night... and then last night happened. Again, it wasn't as bad as it has been -- although I could be completely wrong about this, considering it was the hubby who got up with her all night last night. But it wasn't like he had much of a choice, since the little brat kicked me out when I went up to check on her, and screamed NO!!!, GO!!!, and DADDY!!! at me on my way out the door. And I absolutely cannot sleep when she screams like that. It honestly sounds like she's being beaten and stabbed up there, yet when I go up, she doesn't want anything to do with ME; she wants DADDY. Yippee. For both of us.

Now, while we were in the middle of the last sleep crisis, I made an appointment with a Pediatric Sleep Clinic. (Are you surprised too?) Unfortunately, like all specialists, they were booked out until the end of December. If this keeps up, of course I'll keep the appointment, but what about if it stays this weird intermittent thing? There's no rhyme or reason to it, that I can tell. And I know what I hear from everyone: consistency is the key! And we do keep a fairly stable schedule during the mornings. It's the nap where it gets all wacky.

It's like Russian roulette napping. An hour? Two hours? Three hours? Forty minutes? Twelve-thirty? Two? Four o'clock? There's no telling with this kid. Sometimes she passes out cold on my way home from the gym; sometimes she's up for two more hours, and going gangbusters. So I never know how the afternoon will go, or when the nap will take place. Even when I know she's sleepy and tired, it still may or may not happen. I've driven her around for miles before, and nothing. I've also put her in the car at 11am before, gone back inside to get my keys or shoes, and come back out to her snoring away in the backseat.

So, as of yesterday, I was going to say that things were going great... but now that we had another relapse, I'm not sure how long this is going to last or how bad it will be.

There's also a nice hole apparently in her room, because on Sunday, I got a text message saying that there was a massive leak in the ceiling. I got home, and apparently water had dripped down between the seams of the drywall sheets, and there was a water line halfway across her ceiling, and the drywall was mushy. I called my neighbor over to look at it, and he just pushed a finger straight up through it and into the insulation, which was soaking wet. Of course. There's no water lines and no water heater up there, at least, so that does narrow it down... but this is only one of several leaks we've gotten over the last year, so our ten year roof may be on its last legs. Again. Great. Fantastic. WHEEEE.

And then there was the exorcist-like happening on Sunday, where water just began to randomly drip out of the light fixture below the upstairs bathroom. At least now we have a good idea as to why that light went out.

Alright, So It's Offical: I Give Up

2009-11-09T22:08:00.002-05:00

At least with actively trying to get the weight off. Because NOTHING I have tried works. NOTHING. I get all kinds of advice, and have now compiled a short list:

You need to eat LESS.
You need to eat MORE.
You need to watch your snacking.
You need to lift weights.
You need to add more aerobic activity.
You need to eat less carbs.
You need to have your thyroid checked.
Blah blah blah blah...

Yeah. The short list. Okay, so I've done all of these things. And more of course. But nothing seems to work. I can skimp by on nothing, and it doesn't help. I eat more, and still nothing. I lift weights, I did step aerobics, the treadmill, the track, the machines, the stairmaster (for which my back has its revenge on me if I use it for more than 15 minutes -- I found out the hard way), I cut back on all carbs, cut back on snacks, cut OUT snacks, had my thyroid checked. You name it. Nothing. Just hanging out here at 136. And to be fair, 136 is a fine number, but that doesn't make my wedding rings fit again or my pants. Both of which I miss terribly.

And people will tell me, "Oh, but I'm sure it's MUSCLE." Honey, if this were ALL muscle, I would look like a GODDESS. I mean seriously. And my pants would probably fit again. But it isn't, and they don't.

SO. Here's the new plan: there IS no plan. No calorie counting, no diets, nothing except trying to eat healthy, not go overboard, and keep my activity level at least where it is. I have turned my attentions to another goal, another obsession -- Ihor, my Ukrainian drill sergeant, and trying to not feel like a redheaded stepchild every time I come out of my dance lesson. (If you're wondering how to promounce that, think an internet prostitute, adn I'm sure you're work it out correctly.) He asked me to compete in this year's Harvest Moon Classic. I said no, mostly because it's ungodly expensive -- starting with the $300 entry fee, and the $60 dance fee for a minute and a half for each dance. (Keep in mind this is one of the CHEAP competitions.) But then I went to watch, and realized where he wants me to be. And I'm nowhere near that good.

I also realized that if my technique were better, he would spend less time drilling me on basics and more time on teaching me cool stuff. And that would also be a better use of my time with him. So what I've been doing is going to the gym as much as I can, and working on drilling basic CRAP over and over until I either "get it" or get sick of it. But it's really hard to get sick of samba music. Or salsa. Or cha-cha. Rumba too. Ooooh, the TANGO. Did I mention waltz? Much better than watching Rachel Ray or The Andy Griffith Show (no, I'm not kidding) for the five-hundredth time while my eyes glaze over on the elliptical. Or while going around the track for the eighth time, only to realize that's only four miles. Much better use of my allotted nursery time, I think.

I can also work on my posture -- on which I get lectured on endlessly. Okay, it's less of a lecture and more of a surprise sharp poke to the ribs with a Ukrainian behind me scaring the crap out of me yelling, "SHAPE UP!!" It's not awful, but it's really irritating. And it'd be really nice to have my instructor not say after a dance, "That was GREAT! Except your posture was TERRIBLE."

My arm styling too is fairly lousy, since I'm terrified to do anything with my arms. I don't know why, I just am. Oh, and I'm not exaggerating. One of the other teachers had me for a one-time lesson, and his words were, "Your arm styling? It is terrible." I think that was about two years ago or so. A little less. So at least now, I can take some time to work on it and get more comfortable with it.

I think I have also discovered my inner hippie. I started poi or "spinning." I picked it up a little in martial arts in college and always liked it. Then a few weeks ago, I saw a group of performers called Thee Inner Cirkus at a bellydancing show, and loved it! So I picked up some practice poi and have spent a few days this week and last trying not to give myself a concussion or brain damage. I may even start hoola-hooping. The hoop girls were FANTASTIC. They could do such amazing things with a hoola-hoop. It was insane.

So there you have it. I'm dropping one obsession to spend more time on another. I don't know what it'll do for me, if it'll help me accomplish previous goals, but hey, at least I'll have a good time with it. So anyway, we'll see how it goes. Hopefully my husband won't kill me when I ask for a $30 "professional" hoola-hoop.

The Sleep War Continues

2009-10-10T00:20:00.004-04:00

I guess if you're one of Facebook friends, you can guess what this is about.

I should actually just re-post the blog entry from July 1st right here. It's the same story with just more screaming. At least then, she would at least stop screaming when we got upstairs. Now she just keeps going until we're sitting down with her, and she's actually back in her bed.

We're hoping she's starting to calm down, since last night she only woke up twice -- meaning that the hubby and I actually got more than four hours of sleep in ONE night. I think we may have even possibly achieved six hours, but I'm not really sure.

I'm really starting to understand why I've been so slow to get moving in the mornings lately, why it's so hard to get to the gym. Especially these last two weeks. I don't mind being sleep deprived for a day or two, honestly. And usually when it happens, it's just because I had something that caught my interest and consumed me while I sort of forget that whole am deadline -- namely, when Cutezilla wakes up. But these past few weeks, I'm too tired to do much of anything during the day or night. and when I do end up doing something at night, it's usually just trying to reclaim some time for myself; I almost always pay for it on the back end, when Cutezilla gets up. If I'm lucky, we don't end up yelling at each other because I'm too tired and burnt out to deal with anyone, much less my toddler tyrant, who, while she is very sweet and loving and smart, is also very demanding when it comes to her activities and the necessity of Mommy as company. You know, since no one else is around.

What has been nice, is that some people are coming around to understanding. My babysitter, after spending an evening with Cutezilla in full grump-mode, said upon our arrival back to the house, "Boy, that kid sure has some lungs." Most people don't see her in Mr. Hyde mode. She's cute, she's sweet, and perfectly adorable, a perfect Dr. Jekyll... until you put her in bed. Then it's all on for the All-Night-Scream-A-Thon.

I honestly think this is some sort of separation anxiety. This fight with sleep started back when the hubby had to leave for work for five days. I took her Cuteness down to honor the grandparents with her presence, and instead of passing out cold for my mother in a delightful eight minutes flat, she fought going to bed for almost the entire visit. Two words: NOT FUN. Especially with my dad recovering from surgery, and grumpy as hell, because we were all cooped up in the house due to recovery and rain. Which means he was driving my mother insane, and I ended up playing referee. But at least they weren't hen-pecking ME.

But it's two weeks later, and like clockwork, at 12:45am, the screaming begins. One of us goes up, gets her settled back down, we wait until she's out again, come back downstairs, get all cozy, and then BAM. Round Two begins. Repeat process until dawn. Preferably until fifteen minutes before hubby has to get up to go to work. Or at least that's what the rules seem to be, according to the 'Zilla. And then she gets up an hour or two later, happy and bouncing through the kitchen.

What worries me is that the hubby will be traveling again in a few weeks -- NINE days. I really have no idea what that's going to do to us, if this thing really is separation anxiety. But I guess we'll see.

Okay, So I'm Sure There's A Good Reason

2009-10-01T11:22:00.003-04:00

For not blogging. I'm sure it was... um... well... hmm. Er, let's just assume there was and just be happy that I got back around to this, shall we?

Address of The State: nothing much has changed. The summer break with no Mother's Day Out (heretofore known as MDO) went better than expected, and I did not actually lose what's left of my mind. Not that anyone can tell, but hey, I'll call it a success. Cutezilla is doing well, and her vocabulary gets bigger by the day. Including starting to call her daddy by his actual NAME. We were sitting in the bathtub, and I called him to get something for me, and the next thing I know, Cutezilla yells, "KWISS? KWISS!?!" Plain as day. The hubby's response?

"Well that puts her 11 years up on the sass scale."

In other news, I bought a miata. Okay, the hubby bought it FOR me, I guess. Which still works. So I drive it to the grocery store after he gets back from work. You know. The whole quarter mile. We haven't been able to make it to an autocross lately, and I think it's been getting to me. I got a speeding ticket last night, then found out my tags were expired, and that apparently, I hadn't paid my taxes. YIP-FREAKING-EE. So I tore the house apart looking for the paperwork, and yeah, lo and behold, there it was. The upside? I finally went through the mail that's been sitting on the dining room table since [apparently] before June.

We also got the carpets cleaned on Tuesday. Cutezilla broke out into hives at her school so I had to go pick her up -- missing my Zumba class, mostly because, I couldn't in good consciousness drop her off at the nursery there when I didn't know what the hives were going to do. So we got home, and no sooner had we hit the door when I smelled this awful waft of something... and found whatever it was coming from Cutezilla's diaper. I won't go into detail (for once) because I think that you should be able to go to sleep tonight and not have nightmares about it. See what a thoughtful person I am? Suffice it to say that the hubby rented a steam cleaner on his way home from work. The positive here is that the floors actually got vacuumed AND steam-cleaned, which was awesome. And the baseboards finally got dusted. Okay, some of them, but not all. Cutezilla is full-time, okay?

And yeah, I did get sick for a few weeks, too. Stuck in bed while Cutezilla runs rampant is not my favorite way to go with that, but it's what happened. I love it when I go to see the doctors, and they say, "Well... you don't have flu." Great. What if I wanted the flu? What if I wanted, for once to be able to say, "I KNOW WHAT I HAVE!!! I AM ACTUALLY SICK, AND NOT MAKING THIS SH*T UP!!! I HAVE PROOF!"

And yeah, the baby-weight is still here. I had actually lost enough to get my damn engagement ring back on, and then I gained it back. (I visited my parents for a week after my dad had surgery on his shoulder, and we were all cooped up in the house, and I had nothing to do but cook. Can you guess what happened?) But I'm trying to get back to it. Supposedly the MDO days will help, but as it is, I only have 2 hours left today, and I need to do some more writing. Fiction, of course. But the jones for that is bad too, and it's not illegal. Thank God.

So hopefully I'll be able to get back here a little more often and post. Wish me luck.

Cute from the 'Zilla

2009-07-29T00:46:00.004-04:00

Today's epsiodes, Cutezilla woke up from her nap this afternoon, and cried out for me. I was upstairs, so I came out onto the balcony, and she started to "shhh" me, which is her way of asking for her pacifier... However the paci was IN her mouth, so she lifted up her finger to make the shhh gesture/noise, and was really surprised when her hand hit it. She pulled it out, looked it over a few times, popped it back, and laid back down, happy as a clam.

This morning when I went to get her out of her room, she decided that the only way I was going to be allowed to change her diaper was if I proved I was worthy of the challenge -- which is to say, I chased her, tackled her and wrestled her to the ground, and pinned her to the floor while I got my dirty work done. She was none-too-thrilled. So when I picked her up from the nursery today, you can imagine my surprise when the ladies who look after her informed me how helpful Cutezilla is when she needs a diaper change -- to the point of unlocking the little staircase under the changing table, pulling out the stairs, climbing up and handing them the latex gloves they use when they change diapers. The upside is, she's also the only kid in the nursery who can open the locks on the changing table. The downside is, she can open the locks, and they look suspiciously like the "childsafe" ones on my dishwasher.

A Post? Really?

2009-07-29T00:11:00.002-04:00

Yeah, really. I'm as surprised as anyone is, I'll bet. But while I haven't been blogging much, at least I have a few good things going on -- mostly, that I've been pretty happy, and I'll say that's pretty big. Not that I'm not usually happy, but most of the time I'm just preoccupied by whatever cloud is hanging over the horizon. I'm your consummate worrier, and I'm really an overachiever here. However, what with Cutezilla's new nap schedule, there seems to be more time to take care of things, and get to things that have been driving me up a wall. Not that this means the house is clean, mind you, but for example, it means that today I was able to mop the floor. And since I haven't done that in at least six months or longer, that makes it kind of a big deal.

Today I even managed to make the bed (again, HUGE, if you know how often I normally make the bed... that's probably the second or third time this year), mop the floor, and start laundry. Okay, I haven't done laundry in about three or four weeks, I think, but still, I got it started today, and for a change, I even got some of it hung up within 24 hours of starting the load. This time, since it was within 12 hours, it's even more of a miracle. Seriously crazy. I even got to do some leisure writing, which I've had a serious jonesing for lately.

The other huge thing that's happened lately: I sent off my/our manuscript. It was in the mail on July 9th, arrived on July 13th or 14th, and as they instructed on their website, I sent along a self-addressed, self-stamped postcard, so that when they opened it, they could drop it in the mail to say, "Hey this thing's been opened." I guess that heads off a lot of phone calls from neurotic wanna-be writ-- uh, I mean perfectly reasonable persons who want to know that their manuscripts reached their intended destination. Um, no, no completely neurotic wanna-be writers here... :looksnervouslyatblogtitle: But I actually have no idea what that could possibly mean, other than the manuscript has been opened entirely. I'm just going to assume it's sitting on someone's shelf somewhere, waiting for said someone to briefly browse a page or two just far enough to send my "you suck" letter. But hey, I sent it, and that's a start.

Beyond that, Cutezilla has been pretty happy too, and even moderately manageable. I have no idea if this is a function of me getting extra time to myself because of the extended nap, or if she's napping longer, because I keep her moving and happy... but either way, the result is something I am supremely happy and thankful for. Life does not get any better than this.

Or does it?

A few weekends ago, while we were in Houston, I was finally compelled to buy new underwear -- and not for the normal reasons like, say, it disintegrated in the wash because it was falling apart, or the elastic finally gave out, or a hole developed in someplace uncomfortable. I realized at some point, that my underwear was wrinkly and loose because I'm finally seeing some sort of result from all of my hamster-wheel-workout routines... and I am ecstatic and elated. My jeans are finally feeling loose, and this past weekend, I bought a pair of size 6 capri's and found they too were a little more loose than I realized.

Okay, so I wasn't in the junior's section this time, but WHO FREAKING CARES???? My pants are finally loose, and my husband is severely complaining about my butt-crack showing. It's freaking awesome. My legs even look a little thinner, which is nice because they felt like hamhocks or even mammoth thighs, especially during my pregnancy. I'm not going to tempt myself with actually trying on my old jeans yet, but I'm starting to feel a lot better about things, even if my scales say I'm still up fifteen pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. If I can get back into my old jeans, even if I stay at this weight, I'll still be completely thrilled. They'll have to sedate me I'll be so sickeningly happy.

I tried on my engagement ring today too, and while it's not quite ready to go back on my finger, it's certainly more comfortable that it has been. I'm really hoping to get it back on by Cutezilla's birthday in a few weeks. I honestly think that could really happen.

Back in the Airport, The Return Trip

2009-07-20T14:43:00.005-04:00

So I'm here in the airport again, and we have another hour or two until the next flight takes off. (From Charlotte to Greenville, so technically we could have been home two hours before we will land, but we originally scheduled our flights to accommodate having Cutezilla with us. But it's relaxing, and it's all just fine with me.)

We had an excellent weekend with our Notre Dame co-exile-ee's. We came in from the airport, got picked up, no problem. Our luggage even showed up. Got back to the house, the boys left for the bachelor party, and the girls went out to go see the new baby, Libby, and have a little stitch-n-bitch, minus the stitch'n. After awhile we went out to dinner, and the table next to us was very obviously celebrating. They came over to see the baby -- who was quite happy to accommodate them with smiles and flirting -- and after playing with the baby for a few minutes, told us that they were celebrating their own future new addition. When our food came, they came over and asked to hold the baby while we ate -- which was awesome, I thought. Libby seemed happy, so we got a nice peaceful meal without having to juggle her around. Next thing we know, we get the baby back, and they've paid for our meals... including the margarita! So the baby is already ahead of the game in the flirting department.

The next day, Phil took me out for a bike ride in Memorial Park, I got in a little mini-workout, since I knew I would be spending the weekend gorging myself. (And I did.) Then we went to the pool and played water volleyball, and it was AWESOME. We got home, and Phil made some rockin' stuffed spicy peppers and sausages. And somehow I managed to drag his wife out dancing with me at a sister dance studio to my own, and it was WONDERFUL.

The next day we drove out to Gonzales, Texas for the wedding, grabbed some kolaches (KO-lah-chees) on the way (one egg, ham and cheese, two cinnamon twists, and a blueberry for ME) and spent the day catching up with the rest of the exile-ee's. Our buddy got hitched; we got a little blitzed. (We were sitting on top of the margarita machine. Poor seating choice? More like inspired.) We spent most of the night too, chatting it up. We didn't get back to Houston until 2am, and got back up around 9am and headed out to the Cadillac Bar for an amazing brunch. The Belgian waffle bar, crepes, blintzes, fruit, the taco and fajita bar with four or five different kinds of meat, every topping you could imagine, the omelet bar, and the dessert bar. I didn't eat until again until 9:30 that night. I haven't been that full since I was pregnant. I felt swollen. And it was delicious.

I also managed to talk our buddies into one last hurrah at The Cafe Adobe. It has a dish that was so good, I had it twice the last time we were here, and I've been thinking about for OVER TWO YEARS now. An avocado, stuffed with shredded chicken and cheeses, battered and lightly fried. It may not sound great, but it's freaking amazing. It comes out looking like a softball covered in salsa. It's so damn good. I cannot for the life of me figure out how they batter this puppy and FRY it. It's baffling to me, and I don't think I can wait another year to have it again. What if they go out of business, and I can never have it again? This would be a crisis of epic proportions.

After that, though, we went home, and I watched Twilight while everyone else went to bed. We said our goodbyes, but I think they're planning to come out our way soon, and I think this will be an awesome trip to look forward to. So yeah, I'm sad to be leaving, but happy we got to see our friends, and happy to be getting back to Cutezilla.

Up, Up and Away!

2009-07-16T14:01:00.003-04:00

I love airports. I really mean LOVE airports. Nothing to think about, nothing that needs doing, no one that needs my attention. The only way it could be any better is if it had a tub, a bed, and a tv. I don't even need the tv. Obviously, though the computer would be nice. You know, so I could blog or write, for a change.

Cutezilla is in Charleston with her Grammy and Grandad, and apparently having a blast. But I'm a little disappointed we couldn't bring her with us. It will make arrangements infinitely easier. No car seat to haul or rent, no nap schedules or bathtimes, no insistent demands for the pool-- oh wait. No, we'll still have those. I brought my bathing suit, and Houston is supposed to be BAKING this week. Despite that, I also brought my workout wear. I've been feeling pretty good about my workouts, and frankly, Houston scares the crap out of me, since the food was freaking amazing last time we went. Cafe Adobe has this amazing chicken stuffed with cheeses and avocado, Texadelphia has a perfect Philly Cheesesteak, that in my opinion is even better than the real thing from Philly, although the natives would probably disagree with me. And then there are the kolaches. KO-lah-CHEES. OMG. The perfect breakfast. Pastry stuffed with cheeses, sausage, bacon, ham, fruits -- whatever you want. I love them! I need to get some recipes. And to top it all off, being so close to New Orleans, they also have beignets. How did I get this lucky to have real beignets twice in one year? Because you bet your rear end, I'm going to have one. And probably more than one.

And thus the reason Houston scares the crap out of me. I'm going to leave this city as big as I was last time, and I was at least 6 months pregnant then. Every time we ate, I loaded up until I hurt. I mean my skin felt like it was literally splitting. I was afraid to go near any sharp-cornered coffee or dining room tables in case I leaned in too much and popped a seam and exploded right there as I tried to sit down for dinner. I would hurt for hours after I ate, too. It was awful. And delicious. Probably one of the reasons I gained sixty pounds during my pregnancy. If I had lived IN Houston, though, I would have gained twice that.

The additional problem? I can have beer this time around. And my buddy, PG, has a favorite little bar right down the road from his place. And it's a cool little bar, with an open air beergarten in the back. But the hot weather may be a nice deterrent at least for going to the bar and getting schnockered. Which of course means we'll be getting schnockered elsewhere. One of the other grad students from the hubby's ND days will be getting married too, so we'll be driving out to Gonzales, Texas for the wedding, and I'm spectacularly excited about it. Again, there are some good things to come out of leaving my little booger at home with my folks. Getting schnockered with my friends while she's awake doesn't exactly nominate me for Mother of the Year, but it might get me down-graded from Beta Mom. And personally, I like my status as Beta Mom.

But I'm excited about our trip. And we're loading, so it's from Airport Bliss that I leave you. Hopefully I'll blog more as the trip progresses.

One Or The Other, NOT BOTH

2009-07-01T16:30:00.003-04:00

Well, I think I'd told you that I'd has a few days where I was feeling pretty down. Then the last weeks or two, Cutezilla started napping... and I mean SERIOUS napping, especially for Cutezilla. Her naps are normally 30 to 40 minutes, with an upward limit of an hour and a half. The last two, almost three weeks, she's been napping for two and a half or three hours.

Unfortunately, I think I figured out why: she's not sleeping at night. AT ALL. Last night she had a stretch from 10pm until 2am. The hubby -- bless that man -- was up with her for over an hour, and by the time he came back downstairs, she was up again. We've been trying to let her cry it out, which is the advice everyone tells you when your kid won't sleep. Five minutes... ten minutes... fifteen minutes... twenty minutes... thirty minutes... forty minutes... forty-FIVE minutes... etc. And she just keeps going. We can't pull her into bed with us, because she tosses and turns, punches and kicks ALL NIGHT. That is, if she doesn't wake up completely and want to play. And this screaming is just that: SCREAMING. It's not little whines or howling. It's SCREAMING. Like someone hit her favorite dog with a truck or something while she was watching.

On bad nights, it's every hour, hour and a half. We go upstairs, settle her back down, wait until she's out... and twenty minutes later, she's at it again. And on those nights, even when she's NOT screaming, I can still hear it in my head like a soundtrack or something. I think technically, it's called an earworm, but that mostly refers to a song you get stuck in your head. This is not nearly as friendly. So I spend ALL NIGHT listening to her scream in one way or another.

Benedryl doesn't work on her. Neither does Zyrtec. We give her ibuprofen before bed, to make sure her teeth aren't bothering her. We have NO idea what's going on or how to fix it.

But on the other hand, she is napping, and it makes me obliviously happy during the day. I can even take a shower AND eat! It's amazing. And today? I'm getting to blog, and I'll probably work on another project I have in the dining room. Last week, I MADE A SHIRT! I've even gotten to load AND UNLOAD the dishwasher here and there, AND I've made some headway in the house. Not a lot, but it's enough to let me feel a little less crazy about it than normal.

I've also been able to get to the gym and get in some good workouts. The weightlifting and kickboxing class additions have been doing me some good, I think, although the scales are only slightly moving downward. Nothing drastic. On Friday, I'm going to try and get on one of those scales that will tell you what percentage of body fat you're carrying around -- Body Mass Index or BMI. I haven't been as sore lately as I want to be, but I think that just means I need to step up the weight I'm using. But maye in a few weeks, I'll see something definite. At least for the time being, I feel good. Even with the nighttime issues, which says a lot really.

I'm still not sure if she's A) having night terrors, or B) if she's teething, or C) if she's just screwing with us. Some nights, I think it's C, because you go upstairs and see her sitting there at the gate, and she says, "HEY!" Then she jumps up and runs back to her bed, and climbs right in. The night before last, she even brought me a pillow before she climbed into bed. Which makes me not feel terrible about when things like last night happen, and she falls asleep at the gate while she's screaming for you to come upstairs. But Sunday night, she was in misery. Her tummy hurt, and I think her teeth were bothering her, too. She hadn't eaten anything in almost a day and a half either, and if you asked her if her teeth hurt, she'd point to them and say, "OW." Not a definite sign, mind you, but more of a possibility.

So... apparently it's EITHER sleep at night... OR sleep during the day. Not BOTH. But if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Naps Make The World Go 'Round

2009-06-24T14:58:00.002-04:00

Seriously. Cutezilla has been napping for the last few days, and it's been like HEAVEN. Yesterday, she took a THREE HOUR NAP, and even fell off the couch in the middle. I thought for sure it was over when she woke up and cried, but a sippy cup and a paci later, she was back asleep. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I turned on the dishwasher or what, but I did it again today, and she fell asleep without any trouble at all. And it was MAGICAL.

I know I haven't been blogging, and I'm not thrilled with that, but after stating that I was going to try and write about more positive things, I had a bad few weeks, and literally nothing felt good. So I started back to allergy shots a few weeks ago, Cutezilla started napping, and I got a few things accomplished, started back on the diet and the workout routine, and lately I've been feeling fairly good. I still have very little to show for all my working out, but I've added in heavier weights, and decided my new goal is to hurt. I figure if I don't hurt, then what do I have to show for all my hard work anyway? The scales don't read much different, and neither do my clothes. So if I hurt, at least I have something to say, "Yeah, you worked out, and you're doing yourself some good."

Except I'm new to the heavier weights, and coordinating the cardio with my weighlifting. For instance, it is a VERY BAD IDEA to do a leg workout the day BEFORE you go to step interval aerobics. My legs just decided they had enough somewhere in the middle and would barely get off the ground, much less get over the step. And I think I've discovered the reason why the boys all set up shop in the rear of the class. If the scenery ain't doin' it for ya, the entertainment when I trip over my step and somehow throw myself across the class is definitely worth it. I still need to find some more activities to do, but there just aren't enough hours in the day.

I have been working on a new sewing project (which I will be going back to after I make another attempt at cleaning my counters), and I finished the cover/query letter for the manuscript which is FINISHED. I also finished Cutezilla's height stick, which I think turned out pretty awesome, and I did a new diaper cake a few months ago, which I have pics of that need to be posted. All in all: pretty awesome. I'm hoping to get the manuscript sent out this week. At which point Jake and I need to do some serious celebrating... but can you get schnockered with 200 calories or less? (Everclear is not a decent option there either. Beleive it or not, I have standards!) Maybe we'll just pop open a bottle of wine.

But with Cutezilla napping, I have a little bit mroe time for things like blogging. Hopefully it'll keep happening.

2009-06-18T00:49:00.002-04:00

I've been tagged with an EIGHT meme! And I had a few minutes, and figured, it was already 1am, so what the hell? Sure!

Eight Things I Am Looking Forward To:
*Spending the weekend in a hotel
*Seeing my friends
*Any point where I get something finished and it looks good
*Losing my baby weight, and having my clothes and BOTH wedding rings fit... (yes, two years later, still)
*Any month where there isn't a birthday or a national holiday (I need some down time.)
*ZUMBA!
*Alone Time
*A Clean House

Eight Things I Did Yesterday:
*Worked on a new shirt
*Read a chapter from Spellbinder by Melanie Rawn
*Wrote a blurb for a cover letter
*Ran/Walked 5 miles/Weighlifted
*Designed a t-shirt
*Played with Cutezilla
*Paid bills
*Went swimming

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do:
*Keep the house clean... or at least clean enough that I have more than a postage-stamp-sized piece of counter space clear
*Lose the baby weight and be able to wear my clothes and wedding rings again
*Get my email inbox below 300 and have it STAY THERE (currently at 900 and counting)
*Not stick my foot in my mouth every ten minutes when I'm talking to someone... or ANYONE
*Not worry so much
*Be able to give more and do more
*Work magic like in Harry Potter... what I would do for some of those house charms Mrs. Weasley has!
*Be telepathic.

Eight Shows I Watch:
*BAA! (Cutezilla's name for Shaun The Sheep)
*VeggieTales
*CSI
*The Mentalist
*Lie To Me
*NCIS
*Lost
*History Channel documentaries

Eight Favorite Foods:
*Filet Mignon with a reduction sauce... unless the steak is *THAT* good... then just all by itself
*Creme Brulee
*Chipotle Burritos
*Roly Poly Wraps
*Alice Springs Chicken
*Chick-Fil-A
*PIZZA!
*Dark Chocolate

Eight Places I'd Like To Travel:
*Venice
*Rome
*Naples
*Florence
*France
*Germany
*Scotland
*Montreal

Eight People I've Tagged:
*Torie!
*MamaE!
*...and that's about it as far as friends who have blogs that haven't already been tagged.... :sigh:

I'm exhausted and need some sleep so I can make it to Zumba without falling asleep behind the wheel on the way over! G'night!

My Train Wreck

2009-05-12T10:04:00.003-04:00

It feels like these last few weeks have been a complete and total disaster. Like reverse karma for having such a fantastic vacation or something. Cutezilla and I had a great week following NOLA, and then she and her daddy headed off to the great midwest for a visit to the Land Beyond The Land of Snow and Ice. (We lived in South Bend, Indiana, and I addressed my mail from "The Land of Snow and Ice." My mother-in-law wanted to know what I considered Iowa which is even colder and snowier, hence the name, "The Land Beyond The Land of Snow and Ice.")

Anyway, so off they headed, and I cannot tell you how excited I was. I was beyond excited. Not only was it time by myself, but it was extended time by myself, and there would (theoretically) be plenty of time for me to work on the mundane crap I'd been steadfastly ignoring -- namely the fact that I hadn't seen my counters in weeks or more, and that I was starting to lose floor space, too. The bathrooms were (and still are) a wreck, and so is my bedroom. There is crap everywhere covering the floor and any horizontal hip-height space available, and I have to shuffle my feet to get to my bed at night so I don't kill myself on whatever might be hiding in the darkness. (How my husband hasn't killed me over this yet, I'll never know.) But that weekend was going to solve all my woes, and give me plenty of time to get all of that finished and work on fun stuff: like planting my window boxes for the deck, getting Cutezilla's shelf made, some sewing projects, and half a dozen other things that I'd been itching to get to but haven't had the time or space to do so.

Wednesday night, the hubby is packing up, and I realize somewhere that I can't find my phone. ANYWHERE. I normally have some inkling as to where it could be. Usually I can say, "Oh, it's in the house... somewhere." Or "Probably somewhere in the backseat of my car." I may not know exactly where it is, but I can be pretty sure where it's not... like say in a restaurant or still sitting on the counter at the bank or something. This time? Not so much. And that sets off all my crazy genes. So I ripped the house apart. When I couldn't find it, I enlisted the husband -- who is normally got some serious mojo going on when it comes to finding my unfindable things. Generally speaking, he's amazing at it.

So, instead of spending my last night and morning with my husband and daughter, hanging out and relaxing and enjoying my time with them, I spent it instead, worked up, neurotic and anxiously pulling apart every box, corner and crevice in my house. We never did find my phone that night or the next morning, so I ended up spending the whole weekend sans phone or any means of communication except via email or internet. Great. Just great.

So Thursday, I started the morning off by pulling everything off of the counters, off of shelves, and going through everything. I cleaned every corner of my counters twice over (Soft Scrub ROCKS, by the way), and then pulled out all of my pots and pans and scrubbed all of the cooked-on black gunk that's been on them for the last several years. (Which was not my best move: cleaning the countertops first.) And then I cleaned the counters again. I finished around 2am, I guess, then went to bed and got a late start on Friday. By Friday evening I wasn't feeling all that great, and by the time I woke up on Saturday, I knew I was sick again. AGAIN. Plague Number EIGHT. I was sick enough that I decided to try to see if my doctor's office was open -- it was not -- and then I headed back home to sleep off my misery and watch serial Lost episodes. (I'm only on Season 2, so don't spoil it for me!)

My throat was so sore I couldn't eat or drink anything for almost the whole day, and when I woke up on Sunday and felt worse, I scraped myself off the couch and went over to the Urgent Care facility -- much nicer than the Emergency Room, by the way. They tested me for strep, and got a negative, then gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my merry way. By Sunday evening, I was feeling good enough to finally eat something, but still ended up sleeping until Monday when the hubby and Cutezilla were supposed to get home.

Since we didn't know exactly what I had when I talked to the hubby via webcam, we decided to call an audible, and get my parents to pick Ava up in Columbia, and ship her down to Charleston for a few more days until I recovered. When my folks came up on Wednesday, I still wasn't 100%. But Thursday and Friday went a lot better, but the hubby was feeling pretty lousy by Saturday, and Cutezilla picked up a nasty little rash somewhere. I took her to the doctor for a regular checkup on Friday, but he said the rash was fine... except that it hasn't gone away and it looks worse than before, and it's crawling up her shoulder around her neck and into her hairline. And she screams and cries for her bathtime, which is normally something she really enjoys. For the whole weekend, she's been not feeling great -- which I just chalked up to shots, mainly, but I think the rash is a real problem, so back to the doctor we go. Yay.

The weekend was so-so, even for being Mother's Day. We had a good time going to the new park we found, Herdklotz, had a nice dinner with MamaE, her hubby and the irresistible Sam The Man. I think the hubby had had too much "quality time" with Cutezilla, who can be really difficult and needy when she doesn't feel well. (And I can't blame her.)

I had to cancel my dance lesson with Ihor, and then Sunday night, I managed to get pink food coloring all over my shorts, underwear and couch, and I have lost a beer somewhere in the house. Yep, that's right -- it's still gone, and I haven't been able to find it. I last saw it in the bathroom upstairs, and I know I took it downstairs, right before I went outside to do some weeding, and that's the last I saw of it. My shorts are still pink, too. And despite laying on a couch for three days, doing nothing but drinking clear liquids, I managed for the first time ever to lose not a single pound. I'm really depressed over my weight, not having lost anything and having gained enough to put me back at the same weight as two months after I had Ava, I've lost all motivation whatsoever, because nothing is working -- despite having the time to devote to it, getting in plenty of exercise, and being careful with my food choices and having a decent plan. I even talked to the doctor on Monday about the whole thing, and he seemed really confused and baffled by it all. Always reassuring. And yes, they've checked my thyroid. On the upside, he finally decided the sinus infections were a little on the outrageous side, and is sending me back to an allergist. Hurray for allergists!

Finally, last night, since I had nothing planned for dinner and since I've decided if I'm not going to lose any weight, I'm going to finally have some GD pasta for a change, we tried a new restaurant for us -- Capri's Italian -- and it was pretty good, really reasonable, and they had a special BOGO Spaghetti, which was delicious.

So, hopefully I'll be able to post something a little less bridge-jumpy, and a little more positive in the next week. Wish me luck.

New Orleans, The Review

2009-04-24T10:02:00.005-04:00

WARNING: LONGEST POST EVER AHEAD.

My hubby tragically had to go to New Orleans for a conference. Tragically. A whole three days. During the middle of the week. How terrible. I heard about it, and promptly said, "Oh hey, look! Inexpensive plane tickets!" CLICK.

So on Tuesday, I loaded up my little booger into the car, and off we headed to Charleston. Okay, so we took the long route. But the babysitters were down there, and the plane tickets were cheaper out of CHS, so I decided it was a win-win situation. I dropped her off with Grammy and whatever it is we're calling my dad until Ava vocalizes something, and off I flew to beautiful Bayou country. I got off the plane, and took a shuttle to the hotel, The Royal Sonesta -- which isn't just on Bourbon Street. It's situated in the heart of Bourbon Street. We drove up, and literally there were two cabaret show and sixteen bars in various locations surrounding the building on all sides, with intermittent t-shirt shops.

The best part is, we're on Bourbon Street -- which is normally a place I might typically avoid completely -- at an odd time of year. Meaning, it's a lot less crowded and exponentially more bearable than I had expected. We walked down Bourbon Street the first night, and my husband got a ticket for being a sour puss. He offered us a hat "for a donation," and since he made the hubby laugh, I figured it was worth it. We strolled forever down the street, went to another little bar area just southeast of Bourbon, then walked back. We stopped at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop, and had a beer. It was the perfect thing, too. There was a slight, cool breeze flowing, the place was dark and not very crowded at all, a girl was playing songs on a piano, and the place is entirely candlelit. I loved it!

The next morning, I got up, did a little browsing down Bourbon, then got some beignets (ben-yays) and cafe au lait at Cafe Beignet with the hubby -- I know, I know, "No Cafe DuMonde???" But the place was right across the street, and the concierge said it was the best beignet in town, unless you were looking for the Cafe DuMonde experience. I was not disappointed in any way. It was a perfect way to spend breakfast/lunch with the hubby, who got a very tasty shrimp po boy. And they were in fact somehow better than the Cafe DuMonde!

I went back to the hotel, sprayed down with sunscreen, and headed out to the Garden District. It took me forever to find the place to get a pass, but, hey, I needed the exercise. I jumped on the streetcar -- which was an awesome ride, especially if you manage to grab a window seat -- and took it down to Washington Avenue, where I walked down through the Garden District to Magazine Street where a lawyer I had met on the plane directed me for some shopping. And it was a pretty cool little area. Mostly boutiques, antique shops, and local food, which was awesome. A little gelato shop, La Divinia, offered me a sample of a strawberry sobretto, and it was knock-your-eyes-out-delicious. (That's a technical term.) I meant to grab some on my way back to the hotel, so I wasn't carrying it around while I was shopping, and somehow I missed it, and now I'm kicking myself for it. But at least I know what I must do next time I come here.

I did manage to not walk out of there with lots of large, heavy and expensive things. Actually I only bought a book for Cutezilla, Blueberry Girl, by Neil Gaiman, master of science fiction. I meant to pick up a little New Orleans story book, but so far I haven't found the right one. I also picked up a magnet for the fridge... and that was it! Ta-da! I jumped back on the streetcar and went back to the hotel, where I caught up with the hubby. We saw the concierge again, who set us up with a table at Muriel's Soiree, where I had probably the second best filet mignon of my life. It was amazing! The appetizers were a fantastic goat cheese and shrimp crepe as well as hubby's favorite, escargot. My steak came on a bed of oyster dressing with a reduction sauce that, while it was very good, had no business being near this steak. It was that good. Hubby ordered a pretty tasty seafood au gratin, and both of us were pretty much stuffed by the time dessert came around. We had orginally intended to split dessert -- a vanilla bean creme brulee -- but when the waiter came around with two of them, we were all a little surprised, including the waiter. He said, "I'm not sure why, but the kitchen had two for you, so here they are!" And oh my God, am I glad I didn't have to share. In the realm of creme brulees, maybe it wasn't extremely special, but creme brulee is something of a specialty in my mind, and always a preferred dessert. You bet your butt I'm making this one at home. And again, I'm probably NOT going to share!

After that we walked over a block or two for what was probably the most graphic ghost story tour I have ever been on. And it was fantastic. The best part was, the guide had done research on every facet of every story and had evidence for every single gruesome detail. It was awesome! I was actually a little worried when we started the tour. The guide said he'd disillusion us on other ghost stories we might have heard, and tell us why those stories are bad ghost stories, that he would tell us the real stories, stories based on fact, not hearsay or reports of impressions from random sources, and so on. Randy, our guide, took us to a few places where ghost stories are rampant -- including one where a guy had recorded creaking boards in an old building from the 1700's.

"Gee. Imagine that!" Randy said. He then proceeded to tell us of Jean Laffitte, a notorious pirate who controlled the entire coast from New Orleans down to Brazil. He was also a massive slave smuggler, since Governor O'Reilly, New Orleans Spanish governor (yes, that's correct, I swear) outlawed the importation of slaves. Apparently his prices were so affordable, plantation owners could buy enough slaves to work the planting and harvesting seasons, then slaughter them all in the down-time, and just buy more in the spring. While extraordinarily gruesome, they only estimate those figures to be in the tens of thousands -- however, in comparison to the actual production numbers of those seasons -- the highest of any in Louisiana's history before or since -- many people feel the numbers are highly underestimated, and could be as astronomical as a million or more.

The next stop was more macabre than any movie producer could have ever imagined. Delphine LaLaurie, a New Orleans socialite, was born to a prominent family who was killed in a violent slave uprising. She was a widow (twice over under mysterious circumstances) who married a third time to a doctor who graduated bottom of his class from a medical university in Germany. Our guide proceeded to tell us about the LaLauries and how they bought a house on Royal Street to throw parties. Our guide related the details of reports from the local fire departments when a fire was set in the kitchen and put out, only to discover two slaves chained to the stove, who did not just set the fire -- they set themselves on fire. Some stories say it was a valiant effort to gain the attention of authorities, but our guide maintained that the slaves set themselves on fire to escape their mistress. Not only were they worked to death with no nourishment, but the LaLauries were also performing horrible and beyond grotesque experiments. Several incidents happened, all with reports or mentions in the social columns. When the LaLauries were finally going to be taken to justice, they escaped and fled the city, and presumably lived in France and died of old age. There is much more to the story, but there is no way to do the it justice without a few thousand words or so. But even our guide admitted, while cynical to the extreme, as well as obsessed with the historical truth, could not explain away the numerous reports of seeing a woman fitting the description of Delphine LaLaurie on her roof, whipping a slave girl until she took an out from her existence and pushed herself off the roof to her death.

Our guide then told us the story of Marie Laveau, the [Catholic] voodoo priestess, who duped the New Orleans wealthy into paying her masses of money to help her free hundreds of slaves as they and their families came off the boats to be sold in New Orleans. He also told us of her twelve children, at least five of which were girls, and almost all named Marie in some way, and how it is possible and even probable that her girls took up the family business, thus creating the myth that Marie Laveau was always young and beautiful, that her powers of Voodoo kept her that way until her death at the age of 90.

There are much more to the stories, of course. We spent almost three hours on the tour, listening to our guide. In the end, while the stories were graphic in the extreme, their horror made even more poignant because of the historical records to back them up -- the tour ended on an amazingly positive note, about humanity and it's ability to overcome the odds set before it. About the fact that while some ghost stories are vague and easily picked apart, there are others that are truly unexplainable, that speak incredibly of other forces in this world that people are rarely asked to acknowledge, no matter what you believe their sources might be -- spirits or Hand of God, alike. Our guide sang an old Catholic song in Latin, his voice eerily filling and echoing in the alley alongside a church where a priest and his followers sang this same song as they walked, carrying the bodies of executed French rebels to a nearby graveyard, against the judgement passed that these men would not be allowed burial of any kind.

We hung out with the guides for some time, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We passed by some shops on our way home, and I picked up a few things, and then in the morning, we checked out, and headed to the Cafe DuMonde, where we lounged along the river as we ate our beignets and drank our cafe au lait by the river and enjoyed the glorious gardens in bloom. Then we walked around some more, did a little more shopping, then joined up with some friends from the Hubby's grad school days at our hotel. We grabbed some lunch at Mother's, a famous little hole-in-the-wall that is so fantastically famous, they can charge $14 for a sandwich and still have a line out the door and around the corner. We actually went at a good time though and managed to get a seat immediately. The staff was really polite every time they came to take something away, and even though the sandwich was expensive, it was still pretty good.

We got our friends checked into their hotel, left our bags with them, and then headed out to Jazz Fest. Even though I know almost nothing about jazz, neither the music nor the history, the festival was really enjoyable. They had a Mahala Jackson tribute in the gospel tent, Joe Cocker played(who was also staying at our hotel), and my favorite: a congo group with a full band behind them, being led by Wynton Marsalis, who is apparently pretty famous even if I was totally unaware. The band list was amazing and HUGE; they had twelve stages worth of performers just for ONE DAY. Even if we only went for a few hours, it was still pretty awesome.

We spent our last real night in New Orleans back on Bourbon Street, at the Bourbon House Seafood, one of the top five ranked seafood houses in the United States... and I came in craving a hamburger. I ordered a steak, and yeah, it was decent, but I should have ordered another plate of the appetizer we had: a triple helping of Oysters Rockefeller, Oysters Fonseca, and Oysters Bienville. They were unbelievably delicious. After dinner, we grabbed a hand grenade on our way back to our friend's hotel, where we nearly passed out. Probably the combination of the hand grenade and the Abita Andygator (which was also delicious) did me in. But we got our things, grabbed a taxi and headed out to a hotel by the airport where we crashed until our flights left. (After, of course, our taxi driver took us to the wrong hotel, and then after we grabbed a second taxi, the driver had to run back into the first hotel after the drunk guy he had just dropped off forgot to pay him.)

I got home to Charleston on Saturday around 2pm. I took a nap while waiting for Cutezilla and my mother to get back from a baby shower. (I made another diaper cake -- but that's another post.) Cutezilla wouldn't even speak to me when she saw me. I asked for a hug and she threw herself... at my mother. She snubbed me for most of the day, but on Sunday, she was pretty happy to see me. Then we headed home to meet up with Hubby and spent the rest of the day lounging and rolling around on the bed and playing. I have to say, we've had some pretty awesome vacations -- England, San Francisco, Houston -- and this one, like the rest will be hard to beat. But it's hard to beat the high of elation after such a fantastic week in such a fabulous city with friends and loved ones.

Blueberry Girl:

Allergy Season Has Arrived

2009-04-16T21:51:00.003-04:00

And in mad, fabulous style. If I'm lucky, I may not drown in my own snot tonight while I sleep. But I wouldn't count on it. Every time I lean over for any reason at all, my nose leaves a thin trail of ooze on whatever happens to be under it. It is yet another glorious spring in the South.

The pollen is so thick, there's a thin dusting of yellow on everything. Cars here now vary on color as follows: yellow, grayish-yellow, greenish-yellow, blue-ish yellow, orange, and of course, YELLOW.

However disgusting the by products of spring are, though, the flowers are everywhere, and it is gorgeous everywhere you look... aside it's not directly at my poor swollen face, of course. We -- Cutezilla, MamaE and Sam and I -- have been to the parks almost every day this week, and I have to say Greenville has the most amazing park facilities EVER. The latest one we visited was a new one we discovered: Herdklotz Park. While the name is dreadful, the park itself is amazing. The smaller park for the little ones is really nice, with the normal slides and whatnot, but the bigger one... MamaE and I decided we needed to get a babysitter to go to this park by ourselves! There is a three-level tower big enough for adults, with a small climbing wall up to the second level, and three-story twisty slides. It's awesome. I'll post pictures when I can.

Anyway, just wanted to get in a note while I had a chance. Wish me luck on not drowning in my sleep tonight.

Back to the Blog...

2009-04-14T10:25:00.004-04:00

Finally got back to the computer. It's another "day off" for me finally, which means I finally have enough time (and energy) to sit down and type for a few minutes. The last few weeks have been crazy. Even for me, it's been crazy. The good news is that we've been busy; the downside is that I'm way to tired to do much of anything lately, including blog. Last week was Cutezilla's "Spring Break" -- MamaE phrased the question perfectly: "So what? Do all the little babies get to go to Daytona for a week???" And that whole week the Hubby was gone to San Diego.

Oddly enough, Cutezilla and I did okay together. She had just gotten back from her Grammy's in Charleston, and apparently decided I was okay to hang out with after all. That was a really nice change of pace. As a result, Cutezilla and I will be taking regular separate vacations from now on. I think it's best for both of us.

I had also spent the last few weeks being insanely hormonal, too, so it was probably a good thing I didn't blog too much while that was going on. MamaE has been a godsend and a blessing. If it hadn't been for her a few Fridays ago, I would have fallen apart at the seams -- literally, too, probably.

My birthday was a few weeks ago, too, and while it was a fairly quiet one, it turned out to be really nice. We had Caribbean Jerked chicken, which I thought turned out really well -- and it was a double dessert birthday! MamaE made Bananas Foster Bread Pubbing, and my buddy Jake made the cake: a decadent rum-soaked concoction with homemade icing! It was awesome! After that, MamaE and Jake and I went over to the 2nd Annual Salsa Congressita for a show and some dancing. I didn't do a whole lot of dancing, but it was fun just to sit down and chat and be relaxed with friends for a change instead of being on a schedule and only having a small amount of time.

The other really wonderful thing about it was that I have gotten in some relatively quality "girl time" lately, which is a rare thing for me. While I'm not a girly-girl, sometimes even I need to indulge my girl genes, and it's not entirely fair for me to expect the Hubby to fulfill on that. It's not like I can fill in for his buddies for "guy time," and I don't expect to be able to. So that has been one of the more subtle, but truly wonderful gifts this year, and it's been long overdue. I miss all of my now non-local girlfriends quite a bit, and while I'm thankful for things like this blog, Facebook, cell phones, and email for keeping us in touch, I still miss getting to hug them all in person.

It also turned out to be a Furniture Birthday: Hubby gave me the bedside tables to match our dresser finally! The bedroom almost looks like adults might inhabit the place! And as a result of sheer luck in timing, the new entertainment center came in at the same time! Well, parts of it, at least. The main center console and the hutch behind it came. The towers are still in transit. Which is fine, because we're still getting the wiring figured out. But I think it's beautiful! A bonus perk: Cutezilla can't reach the power button anymore! At least for a few more months...

But I suppose I should at least make an effort on the house while I have a few minutes... sad that my "free" time goes to domestic bull, but on the other hand, it makes me crazy (*ier) when the house is that much of a disaster. And for those of you who ever saw my dorm room, this should say volumes.

Oh well.

Choices, Choices, So Many Choices

2009-03-31T12:16:00.005-04:00

I feel like I haven't blogged in ages. Since it's warmed up, I've been taking Cutezilla outside to get her worn out so she'll sleep better at night... and as it turns out, I'm the one who's getting exhausted. Which means the few hours I spend doing things like blogging disappear when I go to bed before midnight. It's sad. Very sad.

Usually at night, I try to cram in all the stuff that I can't normally get to with Miss Ninja Fingers around. You know, anything that involves:

A) the computer
B) anything delicate
C) PAINT
D) anything tiny
E) anything needing minor concentration or better
anything involving machinery

That list boils down as follows:

Blogging
Art
Beading
Scrapbooking
Reading
Writing
Movies
Sewing
Woodworking

It's also amazing how Cutezilla has involuntarily reevaluated what's important in terms of my day-to-day life. For instance, she is currently at her Parent's Day Out program, and I have FIVE whole hours to do ANYTHING I WANT, and yet, the things that end up on top are generally pretty boring:

Straighten the bedroom
Straighten the kitchen
Go to the grocery store ALONE
Start dinner

Additionally, it's interesting what gets tossed out of the list labeled as "total waste of time." For instance:

Eating
Showering
Napping

I mean, I can eat with Cutezilla around. I could take a shower with her, if I really wanted to get clean, but I can also wait until the hubby gets home. I could probably really use the nap, especially given how hard I sleep at night right now, and how early I pass out... 9:30 is about 3 hours waaaaaay too early.

Eating? Yeah. You're surprised too? Well, of it takes me 2 minutes to microwave something and 3 minutes to eat it, that's 5 minutes of the allotted 300. Minus transit, to and from, which makes that about 10-15 minutes, that's now 270, plus transit to go anywhere, say Walmart, take off another 20-30 minutes, now you're down to 240-ish. A real meal would bump me down to 200 minutes. Take out time for a shower, and now I'm down to 160. Even a half-hour nap would leave me with barely 2 hours to myself. Plus whatever time I spend "out" and that leaves me with about 15 good minutes to work on projects or the house.

Crazy, huh? Today I went to WalMart and bought a new elephant ear plant for the yard. I even managed to get it into the ground within 24 hours! It's a new record for me. I re-assembled a new bracelet for a friend of mine, and managed to get in a blog entry, so I'll call today moderately successful. But after blogging, I now have about 1 hour and 20 minutes left (again, minus transit).

Wish me luck that somehow, I start getting more energy back. (And NO, I'm not pregnant!)

Two Hours of Freedom Left

2009-03-24T11:50:00.004-04:00

It's amazing how fast time goes by when you're on a time-budget. Cutezilla went to Mother's Day Out this morning, and one of the few things I managed to get done was make dinner (we'll call it "Half-*ssed Curry", since I was missing half the ingredients, and didn't want to "waste" my time by going to the store, which would have actually been 3 or 4 stores considering I needed an extra can of the mythic Patak's Madras Sauce; I cannot seem to find this stuff anywhere, except Kiawah Island). I did also managed to sand and reapply a coat of paint to my two basement projects -- Cutezilla's Height Chart and her shelf, that my sister gave us, and I wanted to reapply the paint, just to make sure everything matched.

Oh and I did cash some checks. Okay, maybe it wasn't a total loss of a day.

But tomorrow, Cutezilla and I are heading to the City By The Sea to see Grammy and my sister. Should be an interesting trip, to say the least. We pick her up on Sunday, so I will have a day or two to finish some of these projects, start a few new ones, and maybe get her room more put together. I am EXCITED.

We went to see the Terracotta Soldiers (all 12 of them) at the High Museum in ATL this weekend, and the exhibit was AWESOME. I highly recommend it, should you wander that way. I really wish I knew where it was heading next, but so far, I have found no information on that.

Anyway, need to run. Got more cramming to get into my free time!

And if anyone wants to try some awesomely delicious Beef Curry, here is my friend Stephanie's recipe:

Beef Madras from Sri Lanka via Canada

3 lbs beef
3 onions sliced
3 green chilies
3 cloves garlic
1 piece ginger minced
8 green cardamom pods, cracked
5 whole cloves
2 bay leaves
3 tbs curry powder
1 tbs cinnamon
3 tbs Patak’s (Madras) Curry paste
2 tbs chili powder
1 can Patak’s Curry Cumin (Madras) Sauce
½ can coconut milk
Cilantro minced for garnish

Remove fat from beef. Brown onions, chilies, ginger, and garlic on high heat. Reduce to medium heat and add spices, browning to release flavor. Add beef, lightly brown, then add curry paste, cumin sauce and coconut milk. Reduce to low heat. Simmer for one hour or longer.

Editor's Note: I might brown everything, but then I
usually pop it into the slow cooker for 8 hours.

Another Boring Weekend

2009-03-15T23:54:00.010-04:00

The cold is back. I should say the "cold" is back. As in, it's 50 degrees outside. Not awful, but I'm not thrilled. I was looking forward to being able to go outside a little more, and to start really working out again. (I've been slack. I only went to the gym once last week.) And I would love to start walking every day. (Not sure what Cutezilla thinks of the idea yet, but I'm sure she'll find a way to object.)

I did finish one major project today with my buddy -- we finished editing our novel for the very last time. (So far I think we've edited it each twice. At least. It's been ridiculous.) The last time I edited was either while I was pregnant (29 months ago) or a few months after I had Cutezilla (19 months ago). So yeah, this has been long in coming, and he and I are thrilled. My next serious project is to reformat the whole thing, and send it to a publisher. Which means it goes directly into the slush pile. Yippee. But at least we're done. Editing sucks.

So even though Cutezilla was fussy because she's teething (again), and the hubby wasn't feeling very well for most of the weekend, AND even though we did little to nothing and I was bored out of my mind for most of the weekend and got almost nothing done in the house, I will still call this weekend a partial success, just because of the novel.

I think I'm going to try and finish up a replacement heart for the sign I sent my little niece (it broke in shipping) and then maybe read a few more pages of the new book I'm reading, before I hit the sack. I'm pretty syked, that I have managed to actually read more than one book, and the last one I just [re]read was 560 pages. And teeny, tiny type, too! The new one is the sequel, titled, The Wilding. While the last one was unbelievably complicated, the new one is much simpler so far, because the world doesn't need as much explaining. I will admit, I enjoyed In Conquest Born much more on the second read-through.

And the hubby sent me this very cute pic, so I was thinking maybe he might still like me after all. It's hard not to call that a success!

moar funny pictures

End of the Plague, Take Six

2009-03-10T12:50:00.004-04:00

Okay, so maybe this is the last one. Maybe. Hopefully. Please?

I'm finally feeling better, and it's just in time for Spring! Ah glorious Spri-- what? I missed it? Summer already? Okay, maybe you're right, because it WAS 80 degrees yesterday. Mind you we had a snowstorm last week, and it was awesome!

I know, I know, I hate cold weather. But I love snow! Even more I love not living in snow! It means instead of having to contemplate shoveling your driveway and scraping off your car, and how to get out of the house, you just go home, find something warm and waterproof to wear and you run around like an idiot, flailing yourself around in what we Southerners pitifully consider snowfall. (We actually got like 4 or 6 inches, which is unbelievable, really. Especially for the first week of March.)

Oh, and you must also perform your Southern civic duty to go to the grocery store and buy milk and bread. Not soup. Not something hot and wet to warm your poor freezing body while the temperature outside drops below and out of sight of what we could normally call cold here. No, of course not, that would be silly. I'm not sure why this is standard, but somehow it seems to call out to your soul to perform this action. At least it did mine, and apparently two-thirds of my zip code population as well. I somehow managed to get out without buying bread, but the milk was a must-have for some reason.

Cutezilla sat in the buggy (Southern for "grocery cart" for you non-Southerners) while I loaded the car, and huge clumps of the stuff were falling from the sky covering us both. She laughed and giggled but we weren't equipped to stay out, and she was snotty, so we went home and watched it from the house.

But yesterday, we went outside, and it's really shorts weather out there. We even went to the zoo, and it was a perfect day, all in all.

Today is my day off! So it's even better! But somehow instead of reeling in the joyous celebration of my emancipation from all things baby, I am doing laundry. LOTS of laundry. I even have a whole load of PINK. How did I get to this point in my life?

Another Freaking Sinus Infection?!??

2009-03-01T02:02:00.007-05:00

Okay, so since I began [counting] my trials and tribulations last September, this makes my sixth sinus infection in less than a year. SIXTH. That's not adding in the stomach bugs either. It's completely unreal. I used to get two infections per year.

However, instead of cursing God, like I had planned, I decided to try a new tactic. It's an odd one, but at this point, I'm a little desperate, you know? I know a few people who have done this, but I guess I was just holding off until the very last minute possible. Which, I guess, must be Sinus Infection #6. But I decided to try a neti pot.

If you've never heard of it, welcome to the crowd. It's a device for "nasal irrigation." You put lukewarm water in the pot with a salt solution (mine came with packets), and then stick the spout in one of your nostrils and pour the water into your nose. Very sexy, I assure you. The water runs into your nasal cavity, and out the other nostril. Unless, like me, you have a blocked off air-passage even on a good day, in which came it pools in the back of your throat, and you spit it out. See? What'd I tell ya? SEXY.

Mine, unfortunately, looks a lot like a tea pot with a penis sticking out of it. Just when you thought it couldn't get any sexier, right? Seriously, somehow, someone thought that by sticking the head of a penis on the pour spout, that that would make the whole idea of using a tea pot to pour salt water up your nose a little less ridiculous. If I'd been in a better mood, I'd have probably laughed really hard about the whole thing. If it really works, then I might consider upgrading to something a little less phallic.

I finally got over that little issue, mixed up the solution, stuck the spout in my nose, and started pouring. I really did think I was going to drown, but after my nasal passage opened up a bit, it really did flow from one nostril and the other. It was a very weird sensation, honestly, but if it works, then who cares? It's not like I'll be doing this every day.

I will say my nose has felt much better than normal during the course of a sinus infection. I'm still not great, but overall, the whole mucus thing is at an all-time low, considering what I woke up with. I feel pretty decent too, but that could just be the ibuprofen talking. I've done it twice today, so far.

I'm sort of hoping this works like getting a cold at the beach. I have yet to come home from the beach with a sinus infection. Mostly because I always get knocked over by a few good waves and end up snarfing half the Atlantic. A little trivia for you: the Atlantic Ocean is the saltiest of the five oceans. So, I'm hoping that the salt and water help clear out the infection a little faster than normal.

Why The Tranquilizer Gun Is A Bad Idea

2009-02-25T22:56:00.006-05:00

Over the past few days, with Cutezilla teething pretty badly, I have on numerous occasions cursed the legal community for their position that tranquilizer guns should not be used on young children. Well, up until I had a moment of realization. The scenario went a little something like this:

CUTEZILLA, halfway through her third hour of screaming: "WAAAAAAHHHH!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

HUBBY: "What is it, sweetheart? Do you want a cracker? How about some milk?"

CUTEZILLA: "WAAAAHHH!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAAHHH!!!"

HUBBY: "Yogurt? Cheese? Juice???"

CUTEZILLA: "WAAAAHHH!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAAHHH!!!"

HUBBY: "Are you tired? Are you hungry? What do you want? TV? American Idol???"

CUTEZILLA: "WAAAAHHH!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAH!!!! WHAAAHHH!!!"

HUBBY: "ARGH!!!!?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

THUMP THUMP THUMP!

CUTEZILLA: "WHAAA...Whaahh..wha....zzzzzz....."

HUBBY: "Oh thank God. Finally some silen--"

WIFEY, Entering: "Honey? Did you go through the mail yet? I've asked you four times to look at this bill, now, and it's still here, exactly where I left it for you the last time I mentioned it. Is that my gym ID on the bureau??? Did you put it there??? I've been looking for this thing for a month now--"

HUBBY'S EYE TWITCHES.

WIFEY: "How many times have I told you not to move my stuff!!?! I can't find anything when you--"

HUBBY: "ARGH!!!!?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!

WIFEY: "Was that a tranq gun??? Where the hell did... did you... get a... zzzzz...."

HUBBY: "Oh thank God. Finally some silence."

Random Pictures!

2009-02-23T21:47:00.002-05:00

Seriously, why won't she let me do this to her again???

Ava helped put away the dishes a few days ago. Too bad they were dirty!

Overheard at B&N Tonight...

2009-02-23T21:40:00.004-05:00

MOM: Okay, we need to find out where the Dr. Seuss books are.

KID: But mooOOOoommm, I don't want a Dr. Seuss book!

Mom: Well, that's just TOO BAD, because YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

---------------------
My friend and I laughed until we almost cried. The mom really sounded like this was a life or death matter, and a Dr. Seuss book was critical somehow.

I'm sort of hoping I missed something, though, like the kid failed the Hooked on Phonics course and was doing independent study or something...

Project Post!

2009-02-19T08:41:00.006-05:00

Okay, so I've been getting some good things done lately. The first item was a diaper cake for a friend of mine's baby shower. I loved the one I had had at my shower (thanks again Torie!) so I thought I'd try one myself! I thought it turned out pretty well, actually. No idea how the shipping treated it though...

These were a couple of bracelets I made for my little niece and my soon-to-be-niece! (My brother-in-law is getting married to a girl who has a little one the same age as his little one.)

Art Projects Are Deadly

2009-02-17T23:56:00.006-05:00

My daughter colored today at her Parent's Day Out program... and I got a paper cut. I was carrying her, and she decided she was getting DOWN, and while I was juggling her, it swiped across my wrist, and now it looks like I tried to off myself.

This thing stings too. All freaking day, and probably tomorrow, too. It keeps rubbing against the new bracelet I got for Valentine's Day (THANK YOU, BABY!!!) but I don't want to take the thing off, so with my luck, it'll get infected and somehow I'll end us with a tetanus shot, I'm sure. Leprosy, if I'm really unlucky. And I don't even have any cool pink camouflage bandaids in the house.

If any of you question that line of thought with the leprosy, you might want to check the blog title again, because nowhere does it say, "Memoirs of Someone Who's Got Their S**t Together," or "Memoirs of a Girl With Her Head on Really Straight." Nope. Afraid not. Mostly I started my blog as a place to let my crazy out, without scaring the living bejeezus out of my neighbors. It's also a nice buffer zone for my friends who can't quite handle ALL the crazy.

I'm also really exhausted today, and I'm pretty sure blogging about how proud I am of doing the folding I should have done over two weeks ago could be construed as, well, SAD. But it's true. I did finally get it done. Three days short of three weeks to get it done, too.

However, I did throw out four or five months worth of old coupons and filed away all of our bills from last year, so I feel pretty productive today. Since Cutezilla was at her daycare program, I didn't want to waste it all at the gym, so... I had myself a little party. Just me and the laundry. I cranked up the music, and spent over two hours hopping around like an idiot in the living room, howling my heart out to Sir Mix-A-Lot, The Monkees, The Bangles, Santana, Chubby Checker, Godsmack, Harry Belafonte, and Gwen Stefani, among others. Yeah, it's an odd mix.

It was wonderful! I hate to say this, because I spent last week feeling like the worst mother ever, and this does nothing to help that out... but... if one day a week feels like a vacation, then kindergarten must be like EDEN. Seriously for the last few days, my beautiful little daughter and I have done nothing but scream and argue with each other. Some feat, considering her vocabulary is a handful of spoken words, and some sign language and hand gestures she's put together herself. I feel terrible, though, not enjoying every minute of this short time when she's small and adorable and learning so fast. But today, aside from letting me know exactly how much she hates being confined in the car seat, we had a pretty enjoyable day, for which I am immensely grateful.

But back to where we started: so if her art projects are dangerous now, with just paper and a crayon, what happens when she gets to use actual tools, like scissors, a hole puncher, or God forbid, a hot glue gun. I just hope the house survives.

Nap Defense 101: The Nap Feint or Nap Fake-Out

2009-02-12T14:57:00.003-05:00

*Editor's Note: I take no responsibility for the content of this post, nor do I condone the use of information included herein. Read at your own risk.

The Nap Feint or The Nap Fake-Out is first step to basic Nap Defense. Kids and babies still forced to undergo this tortuous process known as "The Nap" would be well-advised to start taking notes. The Nap Fake-Out, while still in its evolution stage, continues to be my strongest strategy for avoiding The Nap.

Step 1: Before Naptime, follow your normal procedures. Eat, play, eat more, poop. Whatever you do, don't let anyone onto your plan. Just business as usual.

Step 2: Around Naptime, when the parental units beginning to institute Nap Enforcement, make sure you start at a location other than your crib. This is critical. Pretend to close your eyes, just as you would during any other normal day. Should you happen to be in the car, feel free to let your head loll to one side or the other. Drooling is encouraged. When the Parental Units have been fooled into thinking that you are in fact asleep, they will then move you to your normal NapTime Location. Just before they have the satisfaction and relief of placing you in said NapTime Location, begin screaming as you open your eyes and arch your back upwards while flailing your arms and legs in whatever direction available.

Step 3: Continue screaming. This is the most arduous part of the entire process. But keep faith, my brothers and sisters, and remain strong, because if you keep at it, your Parental Units should surrender in just over an hour and freedom shall be yours!

At time of publication, this happens to be my second week of full implementation and my own Mother Unit looks somewhat like a zombie from a B-movie. Any given whine or cry from yours truly sends her into a frenzy that any baby would be proud of. She is currently at my beck and call, and will continue to be until I deem otherwise, as long as Operation Nap Avoidance is in place. While the Father Unit is not as exposed to the procedure, it seems that the state of the Mother Unit has a strong impact on the state of the Father Unit as well. It keeps their nerves frayed and their minds easily influenceable.

I say to you again, my brothers and sisters under the yoke of The Nap, take back your lives! Keep the faith! Freedom can be ours!

--Cutezilla

Can't Laugh At The Dog Anymore

2009-02-10T19:45:00.004-05:00

I think I just ate a piece of glass. No, I'm not kidding. I wish I was.

The Story, Long Version:
A friend calls me a few minutes ago and says, "Hey, I found a great deal on Boston Butts, but our freezer is slam packed. You got any room?" I tell him I can see what I can do, and start cleaning out the fridge. I reach back where I've got some Minute Maid Juice Bars, and for some odd reason, they're sticky. I don't think much about it, because I have frozen juice back there, and, hey, things happen, so maybe one got a little melty or exploded, right?

Something small, cold, hard and slightly sticky sticks to my finger, and, assuming that it's a piece of frozen fruit juice or the frost from the juice bars, I do what I normally would, and lick it off my finger. I crunch down on the ice, and think, "Hmm, this is some weird ice."

The finally it dawns on me: friends of mine came down from Michigan for a baby shower I threw for some friends. They brought with them some sparkling fruit juice for me from one of my favorite wineries in Michigan, St. Julian's.

I put one in the freezer "for a few minutes" which actually turned out to be more like, um, well, a whole day. If you are unfamiliar with what happens to glass bottles of liquids placed in a freezer until they are frozen, let me fill you in, unless you really want to discover it for yourself: it goes BOOM. I don't know how I didn't hear the shattering glass, but since I've not heard much more stupendously amazing explosions, I guess it shouldn't surprise me.

But the next day, I reach into the freezer only to find the entire inside of it covered in sticky, frozen sparkling peach wine and green shards of glass. I thought I cleaned it out, but I guess I missed a few pieces. And I seriously think I just ate one.

I know, I know: what does this have to do with a dog??? We have a friend with a beautiful, lovable, but not overly bright dog named Einstein. (The name came first, I think.) Now don't get me wrong here: I do love the dog. In the words of Pulp Fiction, "Personality goes a long way!" He's also got his own brand of smarts in a way... but... well... he ate a light bulb.

Obviously up until today I had no idea how you could get past the crunch of the glass -- but now I know. From this point onward, I will be forever convinced the light bulb was coated in bacon, and he just didn't realize it until it was too late. Poor dog.

The follow up is that I'm now sitting here wondering how where this tiny shard is going to end up. I'm hoping I don't notice.

The Story, Short Version:
I ate a piece of glass stuck to my finger, and have been forced to classify myself as dumb as a Weimaraner. It's been a weird day for me.

I Swear I Have The Worst Luck

2009-02-03T23:04:00.002-05:00

Okay, it might just be an insanely miserable immune system, but either way, the end result is not good. So last night I came down with yet another stomach bug. Where the heck do these things come from?? I just had one four or five weeks earlier! It's just not right, to say the least, especially on top of my Saturday Night Brush With Death. (Because it's not a REAL Saturday Night Out if you can't risk death at least once, right?)

On the lighter side, before I realized that I was about to be deathly ill, I took my daughter, Cutezilla, out for some running around and distraction at Lowe's and Hobby Lobby. Lately, Cutezilla has realized The Power Of The Door Clicker -- in other words, the key chain clicker thingy that opens the doors to the car. And sets off the car alarm. She's developed amazing skill with it.

Anyway, my brain must have been submerged in mud or something (and probably still is, since I can't actually think of what the key-chain clicker thingy is normally called) because when I put Cutezilla back in the car on our way home, I forgot that I had given her my keys -- and, by default, the clicker -- to keep her occupied while I buckled her in.

You guessed it. Half-a-second after I shut the door, I thought, "Oh shi--" Before I could put the T on that word, I heard, "CLICK." Yep. She'd locked all the doors. I started tapping madly at the glass and pointing at the keys, trying to get her to press the buttons more, making faces and clapping every time she set off the alarm and turned it off again. Unfortunately, the unlock button is in the middle. I can only hope that the people in the Hobby Lobby parking lot got some entertainment out of my predicament.

Cutezilla was having a blast though. She'd hit a button, set off the alarm, turn it off, and do it all over again, laughing and giggling, while she kicked the seat in front of her. Finally, finally, it happened. And it was at that moment that I realized she only hit the button once. Meaning, only the driver's door was unlocked. I scrambled over to the driver's side door, and just as I grabbed the door handle, (of course) I heard, "CLICK." More laughing and giggling from inside the car. More insane facial expressions, more hopping around and clapping for the car alarm going off, and then finally, she hit the unlock button again.

So at least that was somewhat amusing. Again, it doesn't qualify me for any Mother of the Year Awards, but that's okay. When we got home, and I finally got hit with the full-blown bug, Cutezilla decided I needed help in the bathroom, and kept handing me toilet paper, which was thoughtful of her. She also crawled up into my arms while I was laying in the fetal position on the couch and gave me a kiss and a hug, and that was about the sweetest thing I could ask for.

I'm feeling a lot better today, so hopefully tomorrow, it's back to the gym. And if I'm very truly lucky, I'll find a babysitter for Cutezilla while I'm at my dance lesson.

Seven Benedryl in Two Hours and Still Standing

2009-01-31T22:50:00.006-05:00

Argh. I have a stupid nut allergy. Not that it's all bad, but sometimes you really have to wonder why God made you with a built-in self-destruct button. Most of the time it's easily manageable, but every now and then, something slips through the guard, and I end up downing Benedryl at the counter of a CVS.

Today, it was pine nuts, and they were in my meatballs. And yeah, yeah, I need to keep my medicine on me at all times, yes, yes, I know. But why on earth would I have thought, "Meatballs? Do they have NUTS in them?" Well apparently, if I lived in Italy, I would know better.

The owner/chef/waiter was like, "WHY DIDN'T YOU-A TELLA ME THIS?? Of COURSE there are pine-a nuts in da meatballs! Dat's the Italian way o' makin' da meatballs! I coulda have told you!" I felt like a fourteen-year-old being dressed down by an uncle about my eating habits. However he scolded me, though, he was really nice about it, and made me a to-go box of spaghetti with meat sauce. "No nuts in da meat-a sauce," he said. And the brushetta was AMAZING. (Obviously no nuts there.)

So the hubby packs me into the car and we went racing off to Target, where I downed two Benedryl right there in the juice isle, after I had ripped open the box while jogging my way over from the pharmacy to find something to drink with the Benedryl. After that, I popped open an apple juice, crushed open two more capsules, and poured those both into my remaining apple juice -- all this while standing in the middle of one of the main through-isles at Target. I drained the rest of that bottle, while all the other customer stared at me, cracking open unpaid-for medications and juice bottles. (I open them and add them to liquids to get into my system faster.)

Once I had the starter medications in me, we headed over to the movie theater, because: 1) we had a babysitter and I wasn't about to waste it and 2) better to get my mind of what was going on rather than stressing out over how awful I felt. When we got to the theater, I cracked two more capsules and added them again to another apple juice, sipping it through the movie.

By the time we got home, I was still itchy and breaking out into hives, so I dosed myself with some steroids and one more Benedryl. So right now, my legs and butt look like a hormonal high-school freshman's face. (Before Proactive.) My face is blood red for some odd reason, and my belly, neck, head, arms, legs and butt all itch like CRAZY.

It's all starting to feel better, though. Finally. And the drowsiness from the Benedryl is starting to kick in, also meaning my adrenaline rush from the reaction is finally wearing off. Not that I'll be doing brain surgery anytime soon, but it's nice not to have my hands shake like a leaf during a hurricane.

This hasn't happened a lot lately, thankfully. But is has happened multiple multiple times over the years. Mostly the problem is in the desserts, but this is the first time I've ever had Death-By-Meatballs. Death By Chocolate? Sure. Death By Muffins? Pretty common. Death By Key Lime Pie? Death By Cheesecake? More often than you can imagine. Death by Italian? It amazes me how many people don't know that pesto has nuts in it. Even chefs don't realize it, because a lot of places use pre-made pesto and don't read the ingredient list. But the meatball trick was as surprising as finding pecans in a shaker of chocolate sprinkles. I never in a million years would have guessed that one.

Apparently my stomach is on-board with the whole-body rejection plan too, because a few minutes after I ate my deadly-but-delicious meatball, I threw it all up. Man, was that lovely the second time around. I threw up again after the movie, too. It was awesome.

This "date night" may have been mostly a bust, but at least the movie -- Underworld, Rise of the Lycans -- was good, and I didn't have to get an epinephrine shot. I hate those things. Getting one is like shotgunning fifteen double-espresso coffees within minutes. The thought of one of those self-injectors is pretty appalling, too, actually. But all in all, it wasn't a complete loss of an evening. Somehow. I didn't end up in the emergency room, and the hubby didn't tackle me for that emergency trachiotomy he's always wanted to perform. (Why do I let him carry around the pen AND the knife???)

Anyway, hopefully my hives will start disappearing in a few hours, and the itching will subside. Crossing my fingers!

My Sister's "25 Random Whatevers"

2009-01-31T22:23:00.003-05:00

*Editor's Note: I thought this was absolutely hysterical, so I thought I would post her list here. Enjoy!

1. The people at Papa Johns think I'm weird because I don't order pizza, just the pepperoncinis. I eat them by the truck loads until I'm sick. It's like eating ice cream for me.
2. I like when my cat licks my toes (not in a dirty way). It's exfoliating.
3. I like the smell of Windex.
4. My grandma Brown is 105 years old.
5. My momma is a twin.
6. I like to dust and dust and dust...and might be slightly obsessed with vacuuming. That's what happens when you have three kitties.
7. I have a $1300 cat who crawled down an air vent and got stuck for 8 hours. No he did not cost $1300 dollars. That is how much it cost to fix the damaged we had to do to get him out of the air duct. Dave saved Gerry Lopez and is my hero.
8. I am terrified of getting fired. I dream about it, hence I should probably stop playing on this addictive facebook! Oh and eating at my desk...it's a big no, no here.
9. I want to eat a square watermelon.
10. I love grilled pimento cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.
11. and mom's pot roast with rice and gravy.
12. My phone never works because I either break it or something just happens to it. My current phone landed in Vaseline and clogged the speaker...now I can't hear anything.
13. I wish baking on the beach was good for you. I just want to be tan!!! Skin cancer says pasty white is in. : (
14. I watch the Gilmore Girls every afternoon after work. Yes, I am a loser.
15. I am a big fan of Bromance and any of the Brett Michaels reality shows. Terrible, I know.
16. My friends don't let me borrow books because I never finish them or return them. Currently, I have been reading "Eat, Love and Pray", "Flowers in the Attic" and " Marly and Me" since last spring.
17. I don't check my voicemail ever and it annoys most everyone.
18. I wish I had studied harder when I took french. I don't remember anything except for Je suis American...and I am pretty sure that is incorrect.
19. I hope I don't die from a disease, drowning, or a fire, but peacefully in my sleep freaks me out too.
20. I want an automatic litter box cleaner for my birthday. Take note my friends.
21. I'd like a Westie, but unfortunately I have enough trouble feeding and exercising myself that I think it would be a bad idea.
22. Linus, my kitty will only drink out of the sink and he sleeps on my head.
24. I'd like to be a little more humble in 2009.
25. I love my family.

I Met A Girl And I Think She's The One!

2009-01-29T12:06:00.003-05:00

Okay, so since my hubby got out of grad school, it's been much harder to meet new people. All of my good girlfriends live elsewhere now, too -- California, Kansas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Atlanta, etc -- so it's been really hard for my to indulge my girly side much. It also sort of loses its appeal without another girl to do it with.

But a few weeks ago, the hubby encouraged me to join a playgroup. I found the Stay At Home Mother's Meetup Group on Meetup.Com. I figured "What the hell?" and went to a playdate. I ran into this girl with a little boy a few months younger than Cutezilla, and we seemed to hit it off a little. We set up a mall walking date... and maybe it's because it's been awhile since I met someone I could hang out with, maybe it's because I don't meet a lot of people in general anymore, but whatever the reason, this date felt exactly like that. A DATE.

We chatted and walked from 11:45am until almost 6pm! I got home, and found myself really excited and elated, and really conflicted over when to call her next. Is this like real dating? Because I really didn't want to seem like a stalker already by immediately calling this chick, and saying, "Hey, do you want to spend tomorrow together too?" I ended up waiting a day or two, I think. She invited the family out to met hers at Barnes & Noble and have coffee. It went well (I thought), and I invited her and her husband to go to a dance at the dance studio where I take lessons. Surprisingly, they both seemed really excited about it.

I stressed out over what to wear for the dance too, and asked my babysitter, "Do I look okay? This doesn't make me look like I'm throwing myself at her, does it??" So yesterday she came over and her little boy played with Cutezilla while we had tea. (Not snooty, pinkie-finger tea; just plain old comfort tea.) Then after awhile, we went for another walk. While we're pushing the strollers up and down the street she says, "I told my husband I think the relationship has progressed to a new level, because I'm going over there and I'm not wearing makeup!"

So apparently, I haven't let out too much crazy yet. Thank God. We're supposed to meet up today to do something to relieve the boredom again today, and I am really excited! Cutezilla loves new people, and she seems to really like this girl, too.

Incidentally, when I came back from dance, I opened the back door, and Cutezilla heard it and came running. When she saw it was me (and not Daddy) she stopped short and ran crying back to the babysitter and threw herself at the babysitter! It's amazing what kids can do for your self-esteem. It's awesome. "My mommy's boring!!!"

But other than getting together with the new girl, my only objective is to take a shower. So wish me luck!

Funny For The Day

2009-01-26T09:29:00.005-05:00

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot, and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

I Needed A Change

2009-01-26T09:19:00.004-05:00

The diamonds had to go!

I know, I know. "But this one has a bow!" I thought the diamonds were a little more anti-me, so I went for the lesser evil. Eventually I'd like to design these things myself. But that will take some reading and research, I think.

Tomorrow is Vacation Day, Take 2! The hubby will be out of town again, so I'll be single-parenting it for a night. It'd be better if I wasn't worried that she'll be teething and completely miserable. Those days are really long days. We had one yesterday, but hubby got the brunt of it, unfortunately for him.

I'm hoping this will make for a great excuse to get me to the gym a little more this week. Tonight, I could get in an extra Step Aerobics class, for example.

And Cutezilla is whining for me. Got to go!

I Got An Award?

2009-01-23T02:18:00.003-05:00

The Friendship Award means: "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to six bloggers who must choose six more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

How cool is this? A friend of mine, Harmony, gave it to me, and I have to say, I'm pretty flattered.

Now... for my six?

Torie at http://chrisandtorie.blogspot.com/

vmpyrdavid at thirtysomething

Megan at magnificentmegan.com

... and I don't have 3 more people who keep up with their blogs.

:sad:

My Vacation!

2009-01-23T01:34:00.006-05:00

I mean, Ava's First Day of Parent's Day Out!

I enrolled Ava in an Mother's Day Out (MDO) program at a local church here, and it starts at 9am, and goes until 2pm. I am thrilled! Ava? I'm pretty sure she had a good time, although she cried a bit when I dropped her off. I was a little surprised, though. She's not usually clingy. But it was nice, honestly. The last few days, she's been really excited to see me when I pick her up from the nursery at the Y, which has been nice, too. She bounces along as she runs, and her little curls bounce too. It's adorable.

But I was so excited about my day off, I went home and... did dishes? Actually, I took a long glorious, uninterrupted shower, got dressed, ate some lunch, dozed a little... and then did dishes. I tried to clean the bathroom a little too. The house is still a wreck. It seems like it takes us a whole weekend to get it straight and then 15 minutes with Cutezilla running around to demolish it.

:sigh:

I made it to Zumba this morning, which was my second real aerobic workout all week. My efforts on Monday were thwarted by an appetizer at Chili's. Okay, I ordered the Crispy Chicken Tacos, too. That was my own fault... but still! I did really well on Monday, aside from that tiny little detail. And I did really well today. Zumba, weightlifting, the elliptical, and more dance. I think I ate okay too, for a change.

But we'll see. I was looking in the mirror at dance, and I know I'm wearing some extra layers because it's been cold... but still, I shouldn't look 4 months pregnant. :meh: That's been kind of depressing. But I'm going to try and stick with the workout and be good about the food, and pray something happens here in the next two months or so.

I did some equating yesterday, and if all the weigh I'm carrying is fat (it's not 100% but it's not a low number either), then I am carrying the equivalent of forty sticks of butter. Did you get that? FORTY. Do me a favor, so you really understand. Go to the store. Pick up a 4-pack of butter. Now pick up one more. And now two more. Now try to imagine, while standing there juggling four packages of butter in your hands, 16 more of those, and that's what I'm carrying around.

And yes, some of it has shaped up, and for that I'm immensely thankful... but I'm still 20 pounds more than before I got pregnant. What the hell is it? Where did it come from and WHY IS IT STICKING AROUND??? Like I said, if I gain muscle, I'll weigh more that before I got pregnant, and I'm okay with that. But, if my extra weight was all muscle? I would look insanely AMAZING. I'd be so ripped, you'd be able to see my toe muscles individually.

So please wish me luck in the next few months. It really bothers me, and honestly I need to go shopping for clothes, but whenever I try on things, I just see how badly I look, and everything looks terrible on me. I desperately need to clean out my closet too, but I don't want to do it until I can go shopping and not feel miserable.

On the upside, we have a babysitter for tomorrow, and I'm going to scrapbook tomorrow. I've got my box all packed, organized, and ready to go. I also finished invitations for a friend's baby shower, and I think they look pretty cute. I did a few crafty things to send along with the invites for the shower too, so I'm pretty excited about that. I managed another blog entry, and went dancing tonight... all good stuff.

We're going skiing in a few weeks, which will be awesome! I haven't been in years, and it will be so fantastic to have snow and be able to get out and have some fun in it. I'm also finally feeling some better, and my cold -- while still not gone -- is a lot better. So, lots of good things going on. I just need to think about the good things, not persist on the bad, and keep trying to do what I can.

Project Pics!

2009-01-16T20:29:00.002-05:00

Finally! My projects! Please note that none of these have yet been hung up yet. That's another task in and of itself. Getting them done was hard enough!

Okay, this first one is a wreath that holds cards. It has about 24 or so yards of ribbon wrapped around a wreath form.

This one is a door/wall hanging for my niece, Addison. It's not yet been mailed, but since she's only three, and I started it before she was born, I'm not terribly sweating it.

This one was for a friend's daughter. The white stripes are grosgrain ribbon so when she gets older, she can display her artwork on the wall. In the meantime, the embroidered initials make it a little more decorative by itself

This last one is wall art for Ava's room. I found wooden stars and hearts and painted them. I took this photo just to get an initial impression, but the final piece(s) ended up with two stars instead of two hearts, and I swapped them around on the background colors a bit. But I'm looking forward to getting everything hung up!

The Scream-A-Thon

2009-01-07T20:38:00.004-05:00

"The boss says to hubby,
California's the place you oughta be!
So he loaded up his bag,
and he flew to San D!
Deigo, that is.
Black and white whales.
Football stars."

The hubby is currently in San Diego on business. When did he leave? Tuesday afternoon. When did I find out? Monday afternoon. How long will be be gone? Until the end of the week. I swear, he's actually ditching me and fleeing the country for Tijuana. (It's not that far, actually.)

I couldn't blame him, though, if he did. We're currently trying to break Cutezilla of her 3am bottle habit. It sounds easy enough, right? Just pack her full, and she should not want it, right? What I keep forgetting is this kid's shear bullheadedness. (Mom says I was worse, though. I'm starting to have my doubts.)

At 3am, I hear her wailing at the gate upstairs. I wait thirty minutes before going in, just to see if she'll just doze off on her own. Of course she didn't, so I thought I'd check in on her, maybe lay down with her and get her calm so she can doze back off. Instead, though, she decided to take it up a notch, and climbed the gate, hanging to it while she screamed and bouncing to shake it. As a result of these sort of antics, it probably won't be very long before she figures out the latch on the gate.

But tonight, I'm going to get to sleep early -- before she wakes up screaming. And hopefully that will be the end of that for me tonight. Tomorrow? No idea. The day after? No idea. But maybe if I can be consistent, when the hubby comes home, we'll be through the worst of it.

In other news, since last night was so miserable, we both woke up late and I missed my Step Class. I did go, and got on the elliptical for 40 minutes, and then went to my dance lesson, but it still wasn't quite the aerobic workout I was hoping for.

But tomorrow is Zumba! It's sort of a hip-hop dance aerobic class, and at the very least, it's fun. It's also a pretty good workout, so if tonight goes okay, maye I'll make it in time for my classes!

OW... OW... OW...

2009-01-07T01:10:00.004-05:00

The aftermath of the first day back at the gym is never really nice. I mean, sure some of that muscle burn is good. At least it lets you know you're actually doing something there while you're doing your hamster wheel routine. Problem for me is, I don't know if I'm going to get as far as I want to with this.

I spent nine months working off six little pounds, and in three weeks, I managed to destroy all that, plus some. Just thinking about it makes me a more than a little cranky, honestly.

But I got to my cycle class today, and the pilates class which I've missed for over a month, if not longer. And I can really feel it too. Well, with the cycle class, I was expecting to suck it up. Pilates, though... it's good I'm getting back into it. I like the class, and the instructors. Cycle, even if the instructors are good, I still get that gerbil feeling. At least on the elliptical, I have the Rachael Ray Show. (She just had a recipe for Pimento Mac and Cheese! How much like freaking heaven does that sound???)

But yesterday, I walked the outdoor trail, and today my behind and legs are complaining about it. Tomorrow, they should be howling. And if they're not, I'm gonna be ticked. I did not sweat all over that floor, and have that stupid seat poke me in the rear constantly while I was standing up on the pedals just so my butt could think, "Eh. I've had worse." Nope. 'Fraid not.

Tomorrow? Step Aerobics.

New Year's First Post

2009-01-05T21:41:00.003-05:00

The Holidays are gone, and as much as I do love Christmas, it's nice to have some normalcy back. If there is such a thing. I'm kind of thinking "not"...

But we got a good amount of loot, and the hubby and I spent a wonderful Christmas Eve Day driving around Charleston in the 80 degree weather, had a wonderful lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, R&B's, where I had a fantastic crabcake sandwich and stone ground grits. REAL grits, too! No instant stuff!

Our table!

Our view!

After that we headed over to see our friend's twins, Sam and Ella, who are already adorable. We went and saw the Christmas lights at James Island, but Ava didn't enjoy it quite as much as maybe the rest of us would have. That's okay. There's always next year!

We had friends in for New Years, and that was really nice. I got all my "official" Christmas projects done, including a holiday wreath card holder, the stockings I made for my friends, and a few gifts I put together, which I'll post pics of later... if I ever get the pics downloaded! I didn't get pics of the stockings though. I thought they turned out fairly well, as long as you weren't examining the seams or whatnot.

I think my Christmas Elf project went over well. No one was really expecting the stockings, and I found a few neat things for them here and there.

She Who Must Not Sleep got a few wins in though, over the holiday. Last night she woke up every hour from 11pm until 6am, and wouldn't have ANYTHING to do with me. She only stopped wailing and screaming when I asked if she wanted me to get her daddy. (Yeah. He was thrilled with me.) I don't think she was teething, but I know she's getting in some monsters. Hopefully they'll break through soon. Poor kid. (And poor hubby.)

She's been a real daddy's girl lately too. I come up to take her from him and she waves me off, buries her head in his shoulder, or starts climbing him so he can't put her down. I have no idea what the problem is, but this first week without him is going to be interesting.

I started back to the gym today. I missed my aerobics class by 7 minutes. If I miss the warmup, I feel odd about joining in... so I went and did the outdoor track instead, then jumped on the elliptical and did some weight lifting. But tomorrow morning, the hubby will be home, so he said he'll help me get out the door so I can make it to pilates on time.

The cycle class (again) us the one I really want to hit over the next few weeks. I know, I know, I said it for months last year and only managed to get to a handful... Dinner is usually the big problem with the later cycle class. I usually need to go to the grocery store, prep everything, etc... But I'm hoping, if I can get a better handle on prep, I'll have the free time to go and get back before the hubby comes home. (Hopefully.) I've got weekly calendars up on the fridge to plan dinners out, too.

I'm also getting over what is hopefully the last of sinus infection of 2008. I got two over the holidays, a nice little stomach bug I picked up the day after Christmas... and a partridge in a pear tree! So hopefully I'm done for awhile. A long while. (If I got pregnant right now, I think my immune system would hoist up the white flag, and they'd have to put me in a quarantine bubble.)

So, as usual wish me luck.

Funny For The Day

2008-12-21T16:35:00.004-05:00

"Overconfidence -- that cocky feeling right before you know better."

The Plague Goes On

2008-12-21T16:14:00.004-05:00

Well, Cutezilla is sick. She's had a fever for the whole weekend. I can honestly say I've had enough of all of my family members being sick. We're planning to take her to the doctor tomorrow, but the way things usually go, she'll be better by then.

The part that really sucks? She just got off antibiotics for a sinus infection.

So our plans for cleaning up the house finally? Totally shot. Christmas? Almost shot, but we managed a slight work around. I did actually get to go to a glass etching class at the scrapbooking shop on Saturday that was a lot of fun. They have a diecut machine that they used with vinyl to make the template for the etching. It was pretty neat.

While I was there, I picked up a little something for myself. It's a Fi skars Fingertip Craft Knife. It's en exacto that has a neat grip so you can really get some leverage on it. I think I might love this thing!

They're also hosting a "crop" the Friday after Christmas, and if I go, I can finally get started on my scrapbook for our England trip, and Ava's first year. It's a nice excuse to sit down and really work on a project dedicatedly, instead of "when I get time." I'll do a projects post later with pics of all the stuff I've gotten done.

Mediocre Mommydom

2008-12-18T14:43:00.004-05:00

It's been eleven days since the new nighttime routine. I won't say every night has been perfect. Yeah, one night was a two-hour ordeal... but we've been able to get her to sleep at night, and she sleeps until 5:30 or 6am!

However, the parents have only won a battle, and definitely not the war. She Who Must Not Sleep has retaliated, and it was more than just a good solid effort: she has started refusing to nap. Keep in mind, this doesn't mean she doesn't need a nap. In fact, she desperately needs her nap. She's miserable and tired and cries from 1pm until she passes out from exhaustion -- at 6pm in the evening. This means she wakes up around 7pm, ready to go. So 9pm rolls around and she's not ready to go to sleep by any means.

This also means that she's been awake all day. With me, and needing me. Yesterday was the first day all week that I got to take a shower by myself. Actually it was probably my first shower in two, if not three days. We also got shots on Tuesday, so Wednesday, she was miserable and unhappy, no matter what we did, on top of refusing to take her nap. My husband actually came home early to help me with her, and I think by the end of the day, we were all exhausted, in every way imaginable.

Today, on our way home, she dozed off just as she normally does. And just like always, I drove us both home. But for the first time in over a week, she is quietly napping away, and has been since 1:30pm.

What happened? How did I do it? I'll tell you: I left her in the car.

Don't worry, she's fine. The garage door is closed, the car is turned off, the radio is playing Christmas music for her, and the sunroof is open so that when she wakes up, I can go get her. The door to the garage is also open, and there's nothing between her and where I sit currently except what barely qualifies as a hallway. I also go and check on her now and then.

I know, I know, it's awful. But she's napping, and it's what we all needed. So if this is the only way I can get it to happen? So be it! She's safe and getting the rest she was desperate to avoid, and I have what little sanity is available to me, so I think it's a win-win, even if it does qualify me as in Mediocre Mommydom. I'm okay with that.

More than okay, actually. I'm excited! I'm finishing up two projects, I got to post on my blog, and after this? Wrapping Christmas presents! It's been an excellent day. It's also warm outside, and I promised Cutezilla a trip to the park if she napped for me. So... WE'RE GOING TO THE PARK!!!

Sometimes Mediocre Mommydom is a wonderful place to be.

It's Like They Say In Kindergarten

2008-12-14T23:23:00.003-05:00

I think that one of the cool things about any holiday or event is that you share it with someone. Usually you get to share it with someone you don't see every day. A friend or family member or even a group of one or the other. I think that's one of the things that makes them that much more special than just your average days.

I was thinking back today, on my very very looooong drive back from Atlanta, to all the awesome days I've shared with other people. The weddings of friends and my own wedding really come to mind. Getting to be there for someone you care about, and be excited for them and excited for how happy they are. Birthdays too. It's exciting to show someone how special they are, even if it's just to take time out of your own schedule to hang out with a particular person. Sometimes the best birthdays are just spent with good friends and making new memories.

My husband threw me the best birthday ever this year. We went down to Kiawah with friends, and he made my birthday dinner: lasagna! He even went through the trouble of making THREE different lasagnas because we have a few dietary issues to address. (Yeah, I know. It's pasta. I was surprised too.) He made BLUEBERRY MUFFINS, which are one of my absolute favorite foods, and overall, went above and beyond the call of duty for me... and I loved every single minute. We didn't do much in the way of activity, but we went down to the beach and played bocce in the sand, and it was fabulous! We spent the afternoon at the little shops on the island, and had a nice relaxing lunch. I mean, being surrounded by friends and family -- what better better birthday can you have?

Fourth of July, too. Just getting to sit around and watch fireworks, grill out, enjoy good food and good drinks with good people... it doesn't get much better.

We've even taken a vacation with friends, and that was probably one of my favorite trips ever. Okay, we went to England and Scotland, which pretty much would make it an amazing trip anyway... But it was that we got to share the experience that made it that much better. because I have all these pictures of me and my husband sitting around at pub tables with our friends, smiling and laughing, pictures of us all caught in the rain or standing in front of centuries-old icons, or asleep on the bus or plane, memories of us all shopping at a wool outlet in Scotland, climbing over ancient Roman earthenworks at Hadrian's Wall.

Not to say a trip with just me and my husband isn't special. It's just that it somehow adds to the excitement to have someone to share it with. This weekend was another to add to the list, sitting on a blanket, staring up at the laserlight show on Stone Mountain, singing along to the carols playing, and doing the revised middle school school version of "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer." It was awesome. And just something cool and wonderful to think about ever now and then, how blessed I am to have such good friends and family.

Been Meaning to Do This...

2008-12-12T23:34:00.003-05:00

Finally figured out how to update my blog's look. For a graphic designer, I've been really slack on this, and I feel like I cheated, since I didn't do it myself... but... it looks pretty cool so far, even if I don't have the font color scheme quite worked out yet.

I'll put something special together some other time after I get my software installed... hopefully....

Oh, and if you're interested, the design is by The Cutest Blog on the Block!

I've Been Tagged?

2008-12-12T01:08:00.003-05:00

If any of you email me, you know I'm not exactly great with those forward questionnaires or other "send this email on" items. Mostly because I just don't have that much time on the computer, or I don't know that many people who would be interested in receiving said email items.

I did managed to finally complete a book exchange chain letter, which I thought was really cool and worth some effort... that and Cutezilla napped for extra long one day, so I managed to get all the copies filled out and into envelopes before she woke up.

But it seems I've been tagged, so here goes!

List these rules on your blog. Share seven facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their name as well as links to their blogs. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I am very particular about my Ranch dressing. If it's not fresh, I'm not interested. Some restaurants have decent Ranch. Some do not. Don't try and pass off that bottled crap on me It has this awful aftertaste somehow that I just can't seem to get out of my mouth.

I don't order pizza over the phone. They never get my order right. Large pepperoni, onions, extra cheese on a pan crust. "That was sausage and anchovies with pineapple on a medium thin crust?"

I love staying at hotels. Especially if they have self-serve belgian waffles and a pool. Heaven you can put on your credit card.

I'm apparently neurotic about my towels. My mom folded my towels one day, trying to help me out with the laundry, and I think my face was almost permanently disfigured from the tick I developed while trying to convince myself that it's okay if they aren't folded like all the others in the linen closet. It turns out, they weren't okay, and for some reason I felt overwhelmingly compelled to refold each and every one. Thankfully my mom has no idea.

I have a 3am cereal problem. Sometimes for no good reason, I will wake up in the middle of the night (or early morning) craving cereal and milk. If it's not available, I'll go for toast or just buttered bread.

As a kid, I refused to wear turtlenecks or courdaroy, and threw tantrums if mom even looked like she was thinking about taking me to a show store.

In addition to the nut allergy, I am also slightly allergic to cabbage, celery and carrots. Who needs collagen injections when you can eat coleslaw?

Now for seven more tags:
Megan
VampD
Jake
Torie

(I'd post seven, but one of the people I know who has a blog tagged me in the first place, and another isn't active with hers... Sorry!)

Good Will Roaming

2008-12-09T23:15:00.003-05:00

Some days just work out. Somehow, no matter how badly you screw it up, somehow it works out. I think you get a standard quota of good luck. On those particularly random days when things somehow go inexplicably right, that's your quota. And on those days, you should go buy a lottery ticket.

Today I completely used up my quota of good luck for the next six months.

I went out to do some Christmas shopping, and I was apparently really not thinking when I was getting out of the car while leaving a message on someone's voicemail and juggling half-a-dozen items in my head. I slammed the door of my car shut... and immediately realized I had locked the car doors with my keys and my daughter in the car. I totally freaked out right there in the parking lot, of course. And then hung up in the middle of my message after shrieking "OH MY GOD" into the phone a few thousand times.

A lady in the parking lot noticed me -- let's face it: who didn't notice me? -- and came over to ask if I was okay. I told her what happened, and she pointed out that there were three police officers sitting in the next parking lot over, and asked if I wanted her to ask them if they could possibly help me out, while I sat with Ava who was quietly staring up at me, with a look that said, "Okay lady. We're parked. I get out now. That's the deal, right? What's the hold up already?"

She drove off, and two of the three police officers came over. They hop out of their cruisers, and of them pulls out a slim jim. My second dose of luck?He one of the only guys on the force to carry a slim jim. However, my car doesn't slim jim well, apparently. Good to know as long as it's not me trying to break into my own car. But he said it wasn't a big deal; they'd call Pop-A-Lock (whom I noticed is permanently camped out in the mall parking lot). My third shot was that the Pop-A-Lock guy was on his way to the store across the street when the officer called it in. So all he had to do was swing in, pop open my door, fill out some paperwork and we were all on our merry way.

Ava was stuck in the car for a total of maybe fifteen minutes from start to finish. I made faces at her, played peek-a-boo, and otherwise looked like a raving idiot while my knights in shining cruisers saved my bacon. She laughed and seemed perfectly content the whole time. Between the lady who took a few minutes out of her day to give me a hand, the officers and the lock guy, I was overwhelmed with the good will I received today. And they all seemed happy to help. I am so very thankful for these people today, and for their willingness to jump right in.

My Freaking Christmas Miracle

2008-12-08T23:33:00.003-05:00

If you read my last post you know that last night was a complete and utter disaster from a sleep standpoint.

Tonight, however, I'm so excited/astonished I can hardly believe it. Cutezilla let me put her down in her bed, and twenty minutes later she was ASLEEP. No car ride, no screaming, no dragging me back into bed with her... just ASLEEP. I can't tell you how thankful I am. Seriously. It's freaking amazing!

The funny part is that when we drive her around at night to get her to doze off, I usually play U2's The Joshua Tree. It's quiet and lulling, peaceful, and I can listen to it forever without getting really tired of it... but also I'm lazy and never take it or the other 5 discs out of the CD player. So tonight, I pulled out my extra copy of it, popped it into her CD player in her room... and she actually dozed off! How amazing is that? It's Pavlov's Daughter!

I don't know if the CD is the reason she dozed off. I can hope, of course. But either way, Cutezilla went to bed tonight without a serious fight! I actually get some time to myself!

In other news, I talked with my mother and she seems upset that we're not coming down for Christmas. So a trip may be in our future after all. But if it makes my mother happy, so be it. We'll have Christmas at our own house some other time, and maybe Ava will be old enough to understand and enjoy it.

My One Thing

2008-12-07T23:43:00.004-05:00

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't be posting tonight. I'm not feeling that great mentally, and I think my hubby and I are officially sunk: the car rides have stopped working. It is 11:45pm and my daughter just went to sleep ten whole minutes ago. And it's been this way for a few nights.

It's not that I mind staying up. It's not that at all. It's that I need my time to myself, and when she gets up at 7:30am and goes to bed at 11:30pm, she has been with me every single moment throughout the day. I need a few hours to myself to do things like, oh, say, BLOG, or WRITE EMAIL. Perhaps even just watch some TV or let my brain have some down time. It's important to have that time to yourself if you need it. Problem is, by the time she goes to bed, if I get in the amount of down time I really need, I don't get to bed until 2am or so, and then she wakes up again around 3am. So not only am I not getting in my quiet time, I'm not getting my SLEEP either.

But that's not my only problem tonight. And maybe that topic is why I should be blogging tonight. I called my aunt today to ask about the upcoming Christmas celebration, to find out what the family was doing this year, and it turned into a debacle somehow.

Like most people, when I think of the holidays, I think of spending them with people I love. Specifically, I think of having a meal together where you talk and laugh, where people tell stories and jokes, interesting anecdotes. I think of good food and people putting a lot of thought into what they're making and who they're making it for. I think of doing things together like decorating the tree, pulling out the ornaments from the basement or attic, and ooh-ing and ahh-ing as they pull shabby half-glitter-coated stars out of tissue paper, and thinking back to when someone made that ornament in third grade and how excited they were to bring it home to mom. I think of pulling out the delicate brass-engraved, red-ribboned recreations of sleds or home-town main streets, and thinking back to a special vacation with someone. I think of sitting around a table drinking hot chocolate with melty marshmallows overflowing out of the top, and rolling the dice for Monopoly, and everyone groaning as you land on Free Parking and steal the pot. I think of sitting in a freezing car, sandwiched between relatives in the back seat, as you drive around town looking at all of the amazing neighborhood lights displays while Christmas music plays over the radio.

And you know what? It's not the marshmallows or the board games or the lights or any of the physical stuff that comes with the holidays that's important to me. It's not the gifts, not the food, not the music -- it's not even the religious significance. It's just getting to see the people I love happy and enjoying themselves. It's enjoying these few moments we get with our loved ones. It's that bonding, that camaraderie that I love. It's one of the few chances during the year to not just tell people you love them, but to show them as well. That's the single most important one thing about any holiday to me.

This year will be the first Christmas Eve my husband and I have spent in our house. I like to share these sort of events. It seems to me that if there are people around that you don't usually get to see, it makes things more special. More memorable. A day less ordinary.

It's just not as easy to get excited about the holidays when you know there won't be anyone else to get excited with you about them. Cutezilla isn't quite old enough yet, and our friends have their own families. As a result, I'm not sure if there will be anyone here to share it with. It seems like the rest of the world has their own agenda and their own schedule -- and I guess that's okay. Maybe he and I need to make our own traditions for our little family unit, too.

Christmas Spirit Elf

2008-12-05T13:29:00.004-05:00

So something happened yesterday that I'm not really proud of. It's small, it's petty... but for some odd reason it stuck with me for most of the day.

I opened my door to get out of my car to go do some holiday shopping with the Booger yesterday, and as usual I was chatting with my sister about things and nothing... I finally hung up, and looked back over my shoulder and some older lady was standing there looking fairly pissed at me. I had had my door open so she couldn't get into her car. I immediately realized what I had done and jumped up, shut the door and apologized for being in her way... and she still looked at me like she was pissed, even as she was getting in her car.

I'd like to think her husband had ticked her off or something, or maybe she was just hungry and not feeling in an especially good mood or something... I tried waving apologetically, too, and one of those "thank you for being understanding" looks, but she still looked a little more than just grumpy. I don't know. Maybe some people are just grumpy, maybe it was just a bad day or something, but I was sitting there in the parking lot, thinking how very anti-Christmas that whole episode felt.

This year, I guess I'm sort of looking for more of that Christmas Spirit than normal, so I decided that whomever ran into me that day and spoke to me, that I would at least get them to smile. With Cutezilla on the loose, it's not hard to get people to talk to me, and I always chat up the cashiers (who in my opinion, with such a tedious job could probably use more cheer than anyone), so I think I had a fairly successful day. I'm maybe still a little ticked at that lady for being such a grouch, but on the other hand, since it got me started thinking about this holiday cheer "program", it's not such a bad thing that it happened after all.

Additionally, I decided I needed to sit down and think about how to get a little more out of my holiday -- specifically, enjoying the people I love -- and the holiday itself. Today, since I'm still not working out due to my plague problem, I sat at the Y and looked through magazines. Better Homes and Gardens this month has a section called Heathy You, and the topic is "Joy." It had little quotes and stories from people at the magazine about what gave them joy, so as I browsed through I wrote up my own list to think about. Mostly, it was a list of things and questions for myself about the holidays, friends and family, and what makes those things special for me.

As long as I can keep track of where I've put the list, I want to post up the items over the holiday season. Wish me luck.

This Plague, Brought To You By Kleenex

2008-12-03T22:25:00.004-05:00

Well, the on-call doc fixed me up pretty good, I think. I started taking all my meds while I was on the phone with him, and as soon as the hubby could get back from the pharmacy. By the next morning, I was feeling pretty good. Especially compared to the previous two and a half weeks, which is really good, considering the doc almost forbade me to go to Iowa. I didn't tell the hubby that part. I knew he'd have a fit with me (and not uncalled for), so I just didn't tell him. However I did tell my mother-in-law, and let her know what was going on and what the doc had said, and what I'd be needing. She seemed pretty confident that they could take care of it all, so opted for the Iowa Plan, instead of spending Thanksgiving with my family.

Not that I don't love my family and all, but without the Monster Munchkin to distract people from whatever I'm wearing/doing, spending time with my family does usually involve a minor amount of harassment. It's not like they're trying to harass. They just seem to want to know every little detail about everything, and they can be occasionally aggressive about it. I'm possibly a little oversensitive to the whole interrogation process, too, which makes it more interesting.

The other added incentive to go to Iowa was that I knew I would be totally free to sit on my butt as long as I wanted, almost entirely wherever I wanted -- and if that meant not moving for the entire week, I could actually do that, provided I didn't go insane with cabin fever first. My mother, on the other hand, has a very serious agenda whenever I'm home. That's all fine and good, and I'm happy to let her tote me around wherever she wants -- but not when I'm about to drop dead from being sick.

So off to Iowa I went.

And then began The Eight Days of Gluttony. Seriously. One hundred and ninety-two hours of nothing but deliriously unhealthy food, and no gym. It was heaven. We started the whole thing out with lasagna, which I absolutely adore. But you know what's better than lasagna for dinner? Lasagna for midnight snack, followed by lasagna for breakfast, lunch and then mid afternoon snack. Repeat process until pans are empty, then proceed to lick clean.

We had taco pizzas, we had chicken divan (another favorite, but it was all gone before even the midnight snack came around), some awesome steaks, and of course the normal Thanksgiving fare, and a few nights out. The magnitude of the gluttony was impressive. And I'd like to blame all the weight I've gained on the prednisone (side effects are water retention and weight gain), but I'm pretty sure that's not the entire case.

I also got to do some reading, and sadly, I have finally finished the last Harry Potter book. I've been putting it off since it came out while I was pregnant, but I finally pulled the trigger. I hate reading the last of a series, especially when the author has no other books out. But I guess it had to happen sometime.

The flights there and back were mercifully uneventful, aside from normal toddler trauma. But the hubby came down with something when we got back. And guess who came down with it too! No, seriously, guess! So yeah, I've got a nice little sinus infection going on. I'm really wondering if I should count my 5 to 7 days of wellness. I was happy to have them, don't get me wrong, but was it getting well, or was it a minor blip of "feeling LESS crappy?" Hard to say.

But I'm starting to feel better, I think. Maybe. I drank half a gallon of tea today, to help keep myself hydrated, and I was feeling well enough to start Operation House Reclamation. The house is mine. Not Cutezilla's. Although I don't think she believes me. And okay the house is still a moderate to heavy wreck, but I made some progress, and I can probably do some more tomorrow. I hope. I'm avoiding the gym until I'm back at 100%, though. I hate it, but it's too easy at this point to relapse. And let's face it, I'm pretty dumb. No one who's sick says to themselves, "Oh hey, I can do an hour on the treadmill! Sure, no problem!" No one but me, apparently.

Anyway, crossing my fingers.

Plague Update: 2 Weeks, 5 Days

2008-11-22T00:33:00.006-05:00

I guess you've noticed I haven't been posting. In all honesty, I haven't been doing much of ANYTHING. And I do mean that quite literally. Not even getting off the couch -- which means my poor little booger has had to be a little more creative these last few days... er... weeks, really.

The week before last, I took her down to her Grammy's to hang with her grandparents while the hubby and I did some recovering. And cleaning. Lots of cleaning. I still wasn't feeling all that great, but I was doing a little better, so I decided "Let's paint Ava's closet!" Dumb. Very dumb. Not unusual, though, I'm very sorry to say. But the closet looks pretty good. Even if I did nearly kill myself doing it.

I spent all day Saturday on the couch, because just getting up to go to the kitchen was exhausting. And then I spent all day Sunday there too. Monday, I finally managed to get some energy, so I worked on a few projects, then drove back to Charleston to pick up my booger. While I was there, I decided I wasn't getting better, so I got my Z-pack filled and started the antibiotics. Then, we drove back on Tuesday, even though I felt totally MISERABLE. Wednesday, after Ava got mad at me for sitting on the couch all day, I went to the doctor again. Tests were all fine. No technical problems. I was almost praying for a positive test. Thankfully it wasn't the pregnancy test. Neither me, nor Ava, nor her daddy are quite ready for that yet.

But on my way back from the doctor's office, I called my parents and begged them to drive up on Thursday to help with me with Ava for the rest of the week. BEGGED. And Jake's aunt came through again for me -- her daughter came for a few hours and played with Ava for me, and then took her to church while I slept for a few more hours. I am extremely blessed, I have to say.

But still it was all weird. I felt miserable, had absolutely no energy, I was sleeping all night and all day, and was opting to sleep instead of eat or shower. (The hubby was probably thrilled, I can tell you.) And then Wednesday, when I was at the doctor's office, I noticed I had started a cough. I thought, "Oh, hey, maybe this is the last step in getting this crap cleared up." Apparently wishful thinking.

Last night I coughed until I threw up. Twice. I was up all night, and my poor hubby actually stayed up with me and brought me water and fixed my shower ( <-- Southern lingo there, folks!No vise grips were used, promise!), and even pulled out my pajamas and rubbed my shoulders at 3am. He was really amazing last night, so I had to give him props and kudos.

And then I did it again today. So I called the on-call doctor. I mentioned that I was coughing up thick liquid, but it was clear with nothing in it, and immediately, he says, "YOU HAVE ASTHMA, AND YOU NEED TO GET THAT UNDER CONTROL IMMEDIATELY!!!"

I thought, um... DUH, man. I almost lost a lung a few minutes ago.

I didn't know what to think of the asthma prognosis, since I already know I have asthma, and I usually know when I'm having problems. Apparently up until just recently, my asthma had been very predictable. But he wanted to put me on the steroid that my GP suggested, so I thought, okay, what the hell, why not? He also gave me a cough syrup with codeine in it, Advair, and put me back on Singulair. Actually, he made me start the Singulair while I was on the phone with him. He also said that the reason I had no energy, that I couldn't get off the couch was because my body wasn't getting the oxygen I needed. When you start wheezing, you're already at 60% of your normal air capacity, which isn't very much, when you think about it.

But I have to tell you, I already feel like a new person. Hopefully that's not entirely the codeine talking. I even cleaned my refrigerator tonight! (It needed it desperately, okay???)

I finished off my last antibiotic today, too, took the codeine syrup, the Singulair, and the steroid, Prednisone, and I haven't coughed hardly at all over the last few hours, and I even got to eat without seeing my meal again later. So overall, I feel a LOT better. Finally. Just pray it continues, would you???

The on-call doctor actually told me I shouldn't fly to Iowa for Thanksgiving, though. And I know I'm feeling fine now and all, and that could change, but honestly it would be a lot less stressful to be in Iowa. My parents need a break from Ava, honestly, and I can't blame them. She's full time plus. And the in-laws will have a lot of energy to devote to her, plus all the extra relatives. The hubby's family actually spends all of Thanksgiving together -- Wednesday night through the weekend. So there will be tons of people around. And not being in my own house means I have a lot less responsibility. There won't be projects or maintenance items or lists to complete. Just minor stuff that, if I do continue to feel better, won't be a problem for me at all. And I'll get to COOK. I'm really excited about that.

But the point is, I won't actually have much to do other than sit on my butt and recover. Plus my in-laws have lots of medical support on-hand. I think it'll be more restful than spending it at home or even in some ways with my own family, so I'm going.

Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know what was up. I'll be thinking about you over the holiday! Have a wonderful one!

Yah. It Finally Happened.

2008-11-12T00:10:00.005-05:00

I went to the doctor. His best guess? Viral. It figures. So I'm not sure if I'm going to get the antibiotics filled or not. They did take blood to see if my thyroid is down-the-tubes. It would sort of explain the tiredness and the weight problem... and my Aunt has Grave's Disease and ended up getting her thyroid nuked. (Her symptom? She couldn't GAIN weight while eating ice cream in bed. That's a PROBLEM???)

But tomorrow, I'm making use of my butt-sitting time by driving my daughter to see her grandparents. It was supposed to be Thursday, but I'm just going to sit around and feel lousy, so why not be productive for a change?

Anyway, my mom and dad will be thrilled to see her... even if the accompanying Plague-ridden parental unit tags along.

I did still make it to my dance lesson today though, after I drugged up. I'm terrible, but I honestly didn't think I'd be feeling this bad today -- wishful thinking as usual -- and it's a 24 hour window beforehand to cancel. But I felt okay during the lesson, and I washed my hands immediately before. So pray that Ihor (EE-hore -- and no, I'm not making that up; he's from Ukraine; whaddaya want from me?) doesn't catch it. He'll KILL me if he does.

Anyway, I need my rest. G'night all!

(All? Really?)

PLAGUE COMES TO AN EN-- No, no, wait... yep. Still here. Damn.

2008-11-10T23:32:00.002-05:00

Yeah, still sick, I think. It's kind of weird. I just didn't want to wake up this morning. That's pretty normal, I guess, but I cna usually make it to the gym before 11am. Today? Not so much. And my body still aches all over.

Problem is, I hate going to the doctor. Not because I hate being looked at. I guess I just hate not being well. I want to think, "Oh, it'll go away soon; I just have to tough it out." But it's been over a week now, and Cutezilla is not 100% happy with me spending my days on the couch. Considering, though, she's been fairly understanding.

But I made a deal with myself. If I can't do a normal workout, I'll go see the doctor. I think that's reasonable. Because today, I just didn't want to do anything, and jumping around seemed too much... and yeah, that's definitely a sign. Not to mention my joints hurt EVERYWHERE.

Going to bed early though. Maybe that will help out.

Christmas... And So It Begins...

2008-11-10T00:43:00.003-05:00

Okay, yeah, it's true, I have already done quite a bit of Christmas shopping already. That's always the easy part. (Unless I'm shopping for hubby or my dad. They're both kind of tough, but in different ways.)

However every year, we always get to this point where someone says, "So... what do you want for Christmas?" And they actually want to know because I'm on their list. And my list is always about four items long or it has insanely expensive items on it. For instance, does anyone have any idea what King size sheets are running these days? Or maybe they were always this expensive, and I just never noticed... anyway, the fact remains, they are INSANE! The cheap sheets (250 count) are still $40 or something. I finally managed to find some beech jersey sheets for $70 that I didn't feel awful about putting on my Google wishlist.

But I think this year might go okay, because I want garden stuff for spring. I'm really excited about hopefully getting my aunts to give me some pointers on how to give my yard that "wild but not overgrown" look. But the growing seasons are drastically different between here and Iowa where my in-laws are, so I'm thinking gift cards are in my future this year. The bonus: they're easy to pack.

People are starting to ask what to get Cutezilla for Christmas too... but WE HAVE ENOUGH TOYS!!!! Seriously. Since I've been sitting on my butt all week (thankfully now feeling some better) the house is a WRECK, aside from the hubby's much appreciated attempts in the kitchen. I did swiffer the floors after he ran the Roomba -- a gift he gave me a few months ago, and as a domestic disaster, I adore it!!! But the kitchen at least looks somewhat together now. The rest of the house? Hurricane Ava struck.

But maybe next week will go better. I get to drop the booger off with the grandparents at some point, and the hubby and I get to pretend like we're free adults again! If I can quit sleeping all day, I'll do a lot better on the domestic-front though. I started back on the diet again today, so I think if I'm up to it, I'll be back at the gym tomorrow. (But we won't discuss how long it's been since I washed my workout clothes... and NO HUGS, if you see me at the gym!!!)

Midnite Shopping & The Cockroach Crisis

2008-11-08T01:51:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went shopping at 11pm. For a change, it wasn't to Wal-Mart or Target. Garden Ridge is having a sale this weekend, and they're going to be open until midnight Friday and Saturday. Cutezilla and Daddy passed out cold, so off I went, and guilt-free for a change! It was so nice, being able to browse for a change. Cutezilla has gotten to the point where she wants to get down and explore... a lot. Since she has this chaos gene where apparently she's compelled to pull everything apart or out or off -- espeically out of bins or off hangers -- going out with her lately has been... challenging. picked up a few things for Christmas, and it was so nice to be able to look without being distracted with what she's handing me or where she's running off to.

When I got home, while I was on the phone chatting with a friend of mine (whoever thought a three hour time difference would come in handy?) a cockroach ran across the kitchen floor and freaked me out.

What was nice about this happening, other than my husband playing the gallant knight to my rescue, was that for once, I got to freak out without [hardly] anyone saying, "Oh my God, you're freaking out why???" And it's not because my friend's a girl. It's because she's from Charleston, which is infested with the damn things and she understands. It was so nice to be able to hop around like an idiot, totally freaking out while someone else on the other end freaks out a little with you.

My conclusion: The best friends you'll ever have either A) come to squash the bug for you, or B) freak out with you.

Halloween Pics!

2008-11-06T14:27:00.003-05:00

Ava was really having a great time in her costume! And the family together! Our first family-themed Halloween ever: St. George and the Dragon!

Engineer Parenting vs. The Rest of the World

2008-11-03T23:24:00.006-05:00

Cutezilla, while playing with a medicine syringe...

Hubby: Honey, that's called positive leverage pump. But you'll have to get someone else to explain pumps to you. I'm not so great with pumps.

Wifey: I can explain pumps to her. I've got a whole closet full of them.

I Got A Tattoo!

2008-11-03T23:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, not really. We all know I could never pick ONE design and stick with it for for than 20 minutes, so I chose something a little more mutable. It's a henna tattoo! Every time we've been to the Carolina Renaissance Festival, I've been wanting to get one -- literally for years now -- and never got up the nerve (or the cash) to do it. But I did it! I love going, but this year, since the hubby and I are on the diet, we didn't get any beer or fried foods. The gianormous turkey legs are always good, but somehow it's not quite the same without the bread bowls, beer, and chicken-fingers-on-a-stick. Still, the place was packed, I got to play with the conact-juggling balls -- no couches were damaged or destroyed this time -- and the weather was gorgeous!

Still on my Ren-Faire To-Do List:
Palm Reading
SCOTCH EGGS

And of course I love my new tattoo. It's a little darker than the picture, now.

Odd thing is, I was looking at the design basics, and a lot of them look like what I used to doodle in my notebooks when I was in high school. I'd love to learn to do this stuff, but let's be honest -- I'm never going to find the time to do it. I'm a little bummed about that, I think.

I know I need to post pics from Halloween still, and hopefully my buddy Jake got a few good ones for me.

As for right now, I think I'm getting sick. I'm achy all over, and everything hurts, especially my neck. The problem with this, I signed up for another belly dancing class tomorrow. But hopefully I'll feel better in the morning.

A Little Product Review...

2008-11-01T00:08:00.002-04:00

In the last blog, I mentioned I went dancing last night. Well, I forgot to mention that I also put on makeup. Nothing serious, just eyeliner, mascara, and a teeny bit of lipstick. Except I just bought some new lipstick, and apparently I picked up some serious stuff.

I needed something that I wasn't going to need to reapply, and RealSimple Magazine suggested L'Oreal Infallible Never Fail 16 Hour Lip Duo.

Honey, these people ain't whistlin' Dixie! I put it on last night around 7:30pm. When I got home, I washed off my face and took off the eyemakeup, not thinking anything about the lipstick at all. After listening to my booger babble upstairs for awhile, then start to scream for me, I finally wandered upstairs around 9am. We had a little breakfast; I drank some coffee, and after awhile I finally got dressed and made it out the door to the gym. Keep in mind, I hadn't looked in the mirror at all.

When I walked in the door, the girls at the front desk exclaimed, "Wow! I've never seen you in makeup!" It took me a minute to realize the lipstick was still there. And it was perfect. Exactly where I had put it on, and hadn't left a mark on anything! I gotta say, I was impressed.

The downside was, I bought this stuff, and actually had to ready the directions to put it on. Yeah. For lipstick. It's a two step process, where you apply the lip color, wait a couple of minutes, then apply a top coat. Apparently you also need an oil-based makeup remover to get it off, otherwise you end up like me today, trying to rub this stuff off as you're driving down the road.

But overall, excellent stuff. I put it on, and don't have to think about it again until... well, until someone reminds me about it. Which is awesome!

An Odd, But VERY Gratifying Night

2008-10-31T17:06:00.004-04:00

I went ballroom dancing last night. I go every Thursday, if possible. And I love it. Well, last night was, of course, our Halloween Dance, and everyone got dressed up. It's always a lot of fun. I decided to go in last year's costume, because last year, when I went to zip the d&#n thing up, it refused. The zipper wasn't the problem, though. It was the fact that I had just had my daughter two months before. It was also a real first in my life, where I expected something to fit and it didn't.

So I was getting ready last night, I think I nearly had a heart attack when my husband stopped the zipper halfway up -- to adjust thankfully. But he got it all the way up, and it was an amazing feeling.

Off I went to the dance, and I got a lot of nice compliments. I wore a Mardi Gras mask with the dress (which was an old bridesmaid dress from a friend's wedding), and everyone loved it. Well, it's a cool mask. It's red velvet with gold trim and a green, feathered plume. Who wouldn't love it? I ended up going to Target to pick up a slip to go under my ACTUAL Halloween costume, but of course I couldn't change before I went in... so the dilemma was "Which is weirder? Wearing a bridesmaid gown into Target at 9:30pm? Or wearing a bridesmaid gown with a Mardi Gras mask into Target at 9:30pm?" Since I figured the mask would at least make sure I looked like I was ready for Halloween, I chose Option B.

As I was walking through, of course I got some looks, but for the most part, they were pretty complimentary. A few people even stopped to tell me I looked really nice. One girl loved the mask, and said I looked like I was going to prom, and another woman even called out down the isle, "Wow, you look amazing!" How's that for padding your ego a bit?

So not a bad night at all!

I did still go to the gym today, of course. I did some time on the elliptical, did some weightlifting -- and checked out how nice my biceps are looking these days (let's not discuss the tricep situation) -- and walked 2.5 miles around the track. It's good that the hubby is doing the diet with me, though, because it would be so easy to stop now, when I could still do a bit more.

Slowly, Slowly

2008-10-29T13:38:00.002-04:00

But it's happening! I feel better about how I look now than I have in MONTHS. Probably in almost a year, and I've gotten some nice comments lately. I bought some jeans about a week and a half ago, and they're a little more loose than I like to wear. I thought they were tight when I first tried them on, but jeans are apparently pretty stretchy... so I bought a size smaller last night!

Mind you it was an effort getting my butt into them this afternoon, but they're less tight today than they were when I went to buy jeans the first time. And like I said, they'll probably stretch a little as I wear them, like the other pair did.

Overall, I haven't made any significant progress that I haven't already reported. My "high" weight keeps coming down though, even if my "low" weight hasn't dropped at all. I'll still consider that a success, especially when you combine it with the jeans and the comments. I'd still like to drop five to eight more pounds, though. It won't put me at the weight I started at when I first got pregnant, but that's okay. Again, I've put on some muscle, and muscle weighs 25% more than fat. I'd be really interested to find out how muscle and fat compare in volume though. No one ever has that stat available, you know?

But the other good news is that the hubby decided to join me in my dietary pursuits, and I'm pretty excited about it. It'll give me a good reason to hang in there for these last few pounds, and not cheat. The better I feel, the harder it is, so having the hubby on board with me is really going to help me there.

As part of a small change-up, I've been going outside to walk the outdoor track. Okay, it's less of an intentional change-up, than it is a back-up plan when I can't get my butt out of bed, like this morning. It's been COLD down here the past few days. We went from the mild beginnings of fall to WINTER. But it's at least been nice to get outside for a change. I even jogged a very short couple of stints during my four miles. And I managed to get all four done in one hour flat.

So all in all, good stuff. And even if it's happening more slowly than I'd like, it's going faster than it had been. I'll call that progress!

I <3 Cheat Days!

2008-10-28T00:10:00.003-04:00

Seriously. They rock.

Friday started out just fine. And then the hubby got a call that his gaming abilities were in high need at a birthday party. Since I've been jonesing to bake for months now, I threw together a triple berry cobbler and Chocolate Chip Golden Graham Treats. (Rice Crispy Treats made with Golden Grahams, instead, and chocolate chips added in.) Apparently they were pretty tasty... and of course marshmallows are so gooey when they're melted down, I ended up coated in a thin sticky layer of sugar... that I ended up licking off.

But most of Friday went fine. Went for a nice long walk in the rain at the gym on the outdoor track. As it turns out, I'm not the only nutjob in town. Two other people were out there with me. Saturday morning went pretty well too. I called my buddy over for waffles and he brought his family with him, parents and brother included! My parents showed up a little while later so the house was nice and packed. I love mornings like that.

I know waffles aren't on the diet, but I know that when I don't have carbs, I have absolutely no energy for a workout, and with the grappling seminar later that day, I knew I'd need whatever I could get. Grappling is an all-body deal, and everywhere has been for two days. But it was amazingly fun. I'm not much good at grappling, but I love to learn it and give it a shot. I lost a lot, but I got in one good arm-bar and a guillotine choke. So score for me!

The UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) fights were really interesting. Normally I'm not into seeing two guys punch it out, but a few of the fights were really well matched and instead of going to the ground, they decided to keep it on their feet. I really prefer tap outs from arm-bars or other joint manipulations, because they usually display a lot of skill and thought as opposed to how hard a guy can nail his opponent, but like I said, this one was really well matched, so the fighters had a lot of back-and-forth action. The main event though, was cut short due to the challenger popping out his ACL tendon in his knee. Which is probably a good thing for him, because he was sort of getting his butt kicked.

I also tried to drop into my friend's belly dancing show. She's amazing and in various shows around town. Her troupe is BellyMuse, and the last show I saw was awesome. Another girl was up from Columbia, Natalie Brown, and she's amazing too. She performed as well, and I can't wait to see the videos. (I missed the show because I took my poor little booger, and we got lost, spent over an hour in the car, and she fell asleep before I found the place.)

But on the upside of not making it to the show, I got back to Jake's place in time for the UFC fights, got a plate load of fantastic ribs and mac'n'cheese, and got a few backrubs to boot! And I still get to see the performances, albeit in a slightly less impressive environment.

But here are a few videos, if I can figure out how to embed them:
(My computer died.. again, so I'm on the backup laptop with no FlashPlayer.)

Post, er, I mean, Ode to the Hubby

2008-10-22T13:56:00.004-04:00

My husband ROCKS. Of course he might have been trying to make up for the fact that he was leaving me alone with Cutezilla for the night and most of tomorrow... but still! How often do yo get to wake up to real breakfast in bed? And not just a doughnut they picked up somewhere and threw at you from the door. I'm talking a hot, freshly-made, sausage and cheese omelet with a tall glass of orange juice!

Like I said. It was awesome.

This week has gone pretty well, overall. So far. Knock on wood.

Monday, I took the booger to the doctor to see if she had an ear infection, and thankfully, she does not. It's just teething that's bothering her, and she's getting in four, possibly five larger back teeth. I'm not sure if they're molars or whatever, but any way you look at it, it can't be fun.

Since I missed the gym due to the doctor's appointment, I had a dance lesson that evening and the hubby helped me pick out a pair of jeans so I don't freeze to death while it's cold out. I had gone to the mall earlier that afternoon, but all of the jeans seem so overpriced... $40 - $60 seems WAY too much to pay for a pair of jeans I don't want to spend a lot of time in, you know?

Not only that, but one of the sales people tried to help me feel better by saying, "But HONEY, you've had a BABY! Your body may NEVER go back to the way it was." I'm really not sure how that's supposed to be encouraging, but it's not. My brain translates that into "Why are you bothering to even try to lose this weight? Just give up now and be satisfied with only feeling okay when you get dressed, instead of ever feeling GREAT again." So definitely not what I would call encouraging. Especially when I've taken into account the broad range of my relatives and their recoveries... it seems realistic for me to be able to get some back of what I lost.

But after recovering some, the hubby was really sweet and bought me some fingerless gloves at target, which are pretty cute, and was super sweet about the jeans thing. I bought a pair at Target for $32, which seems much more reasonable to me. And my "high" weight of the day has been dropping downward, which of course is awesome. So I don't feel as lousy as I did on Monday afternoon. Actually, I feel pretty good.

Yesterday, I hit the weightlifting class, and did okay. I still need to get up to the 15 pound weights in the next few months because the Monster Munchkin weighs 24 pounds... and on a good day I'm using 12 pound weights. So I definitely have a goal there. I think it'll be easier once I go back to eating carbs, though.

I did the Step & Sculpt class today, and it kicked my butt. I didn't have much in the way of any carbs, and I need those to have the energy for classes. I've been trying to get something in before class, but today, I scaled back... okay, I ran out of crackers, so I scaled back, but not really by choice, exactly.

On the upside, though, now I know I need more before class, and that it's okay. And the jeans I found are a size 8, which is smaller than the 10's I've been wearing, so that was also nice. Not the size 4's I've got upstairs, but it's definitely a move in the right direction.

And now I need to go jump in the shower while I still have a minute to myself before Cutezilla wakes up.

Cheat Day!

2008-10-18T23:14:00.002-04:00

Okay. So I went a little crazy today. It all started with the breakfast croissant. It wasn't my fault. They sent me out for food and coffee, because we were FREEZING TO DEATH doing registration for the Timed Driving Event at the BMW EuroFest. In other words, a mini-autocross.

So I got coffee. And then they needed food... and after doing well last week, I kind of lost it, and went nuts. One breakfast croissant. Lunch was free at BMW, and they had all sandwich items... and cookies. Dear God, there were cookies. But I only had two... and then there was the pasta salad. Okay, I didn't eat much of the pasta salad... but I had an entire bottle of milk. I've been dying for milk. I mean every night. It's been driving me insane. So I had some...

And then for dinner, I followed it up with the Jamaican Jerk Chicken Sandwich from Red Robin. And fries. But it was really good. Not my favorite on the list, but still really good. And not my favorite Jerk Chicken sandwich, but it'll work in a pinch. I'm still working on a recipe to recreate my favorite, but I'll have to wait until after I'm done with my weight, since it includes LOTS of brown sugar.

I had a really great day today, though. I was helping out with holding down a tarp and one of the guys told me that I should probably pick something else to do, since it probably weighed more than I do. There was another comment about having to run around int he shower to get wet. I also got offered several rides back and forth from the event area to the Performance Center, and while it's not necessarily a reflection on how I look, it was still nice of them, since they didn't have to offer.

But tomorrow I'm back on. I still have some more to go.

Week Summary: Progress!

2008-10-17T14:56:00.003-04:00

So I checked my weight again today. This morning, I was back up a little, but hey, there's variance in everything, right? The booger woke up at a fairly decent hour... still too early for me, honestly, but then, I'd probably sleep all day, given a good chance. But last night I slept through the whole night. My daughter? Not so much. And I'm afraid I found out through the hubby, who apparently got up with her more than once... My maternal instincts are not exactly what people thought they would be.

Anyway, since I actually slept last night, when I got up, I was feeling good enough to head straight to the gym! I made it into yoga without getting the evil eye for being late. (Don't mess with the yoga people. They're very serious about it!) It was another great class -- totally perfect for what I needed today too: leg stretches and relaxation. Then I hung out for a few minutes, chatted with some people, jumped on the elliptical for a few minutes, and came home.

The Sleepless Wonder wasn't ready for a nap yet, so we had a snack, and then a little while later, I dropped her into the car. She was so exhausted I hadn't left the neighborhood when she knocked out cold! It was awesome! Then I headed back home, decided I needed a shower, and hopped on the scales... to find I had dropped another three pounds! I may go back up over the weekend, but I'll have less to work off than I did last week and the week before... so overall, I'm pretty pleased today.

Technically this puts me being within 14 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, but I don't think I'll get there. Honestly, before, I had no muscle at all, and with lifting Ava and the classes I'm taking, I know I'm putting some on, and I'm happy with that. I think a more realistic goal is probably in the five to eight pound range.

Next weekend is a grappling mini-seminar before we go watch the next UFC fight, and I think I might even let myself have some celebratory pancakes or waffles in the morning before I go, if I do well next week. That class ought to be a fairly good workout if I actually get to grapple. All the boys are bigger than me, which makes it really difficult for me, but also it'll be a good test of skill.

If anyone's wondering, grappling is like wrestling, but with less rules. I'm actually looking forward to getting Ava into it, since there are some really valuable self-defense skills to get out of it. And it's a LOT of fun, too.

New Goal

2008-10-15T23:40:00.003-04:00

I was thinking this week, that the little Monster Munchkin gets a little fussy in the afternoons, and after some musing upon the subject, I realized she wasn't getting enough playtime with me at home. As a result, I decided that maybe we should do more playing. I'm still getting in my workouts, but the afternoons will probably be a little less trip-bound, I think.

Monday we ended up going to the mall, and yes, I did some shopping, but we also stopped at the play area, and I let her explore. She climbed the stairs to the slide and went down quite a few times... and then decided it was more fun to go up the wrong way. She's definitely my kid! We also got an afternoon walk around the block, and she really seemed to enjoy it.

Tuesday, we just hung out in the house, ran around, played with the "gumball" machine, and then took another walk around the neighborhood.

This morning, she woke up and her daddy went up to get her... unfortunately, she must have thought she was going to get to spend the whole day with him, because she SCREAMED when he tried to give her to me. She had a nice little death grip on his clothes and refused to let go. For another half-an-hour after he left, all she did was cry. I figured it was partially the teething, so finally I drugged her with Motrin, and she seemed to feel better after that. Teething Season sucks!

After our nice round of screaming, a trip to the nursery so I could get my butt kicked by the aerobics instructor, and a nice two-hour nap, we played in the house and ran around, and during our walk, we stopped in at a couple of the neighbors' homes to say hello. We got to play with a GIGANTIC black lab who didn't quite "get" that Ava was 1/5th his size, at best, and kept rubbing up against her to get her to play with him... and knocked her over. She didn't seem to mind, either. Just over she'd go, arms flailing, and then she'd use the dog to get herself back on her feet. Very amusing.

One of the other neighbors was out with her 22-month-old named Emma -- not to be confused with our OTHER next-door-neighbor's little girl named Emma -- and we stopped to play for a few minutes, and they exchanged hugs and kisses, which was really sweet. Really surprising too, but really cool.

I also promised the hubby tonight that he could get a break, so I took Ava to the nursery while I had a wonderfully relaxing yoga class. The instructor said my form was pretty decent, which was really nice to hear. He also rubs our feet during the meditation at the end! It's like heaven! When I picked Ava up at the nursery, she seemed to have a great time too playing with the other little kids. It took me fifteen minutes to get her to leave with me, and even then, I had to pry her off the furniture.

I'd like to think that as a reward, apparently I got to ditch FIVE POUNDS of this water weight I've been toting around lately. I hope I can keep it off. All in all, though, I think Ava's been some happier, despite the teething, so I think it's a good move for both of us.

Weekend Summary: C-

2008-10-14T23:41:00.006-04:00

All in all, Saturday went well, as far as the diet goes. I wasn't bad at all about what I ate, according to the South Beach Diet. I also got into the gym on Saturday morning, and got on the elliptical and did some weightlifting. Sunday, however...

The baby shower was fine. There were some egg-sausage-quiche thingies that were AWESOME, and I had some fruit and a really small slice of a cottage cheese cheesecake. So, I did okay there, even though I did have some carby items.

But then we went to the Fall For Greenville Festival downtown... and I had to walk by the funnel cakes, and the nachos, and the popcorn, and the funnel cakes, and the BEER, and the funnel cakes... did I mention funnel cakes? I think I might have been a little grumpy by the time we got to the concert. And then of course, when dinner came around, I was starving, and every option presented seem to be a restaurant that serves bread as an appetizer or loads of delicious pasta.

As a rule, I have very little self control, especially when it comes to food. Even just standing around for a few minutes at the festival, someone handed me a beer, and said, "I'll be right back." I did manage not to drink the whole thing, but I'll say there was a tax extracted for the service. So of course if we go to, say, Outback, for example, do you really think I'm not going to eat an entire loaf or two of that hot fresh steamy bread slathered with butter? Yeah. Sure. RIGHT.

Anyway, we managed to settle on TGIFridays, and that worked out. I had a really nice steak with steamed broccoli. I've also decided broccoli should always be eaten with melted cheese. At home, I throw some in the microwave steamer my mother got me from Pampered Chef -- one of the best kitchen items I own, honestly -- with a little water and a chicken bouillon cube, nuke it for two or three minutes, then after I drain the water out, sprinkle a handful of cheddar over it and viola! The cheese melts everywhere and has a sauce-like consistency due to the leftover broth. Very tasty.

So between the beer, the shower carbs, a few crackers my daughter "shared" (rather, shoved in my face while she was grinning -- but she's too cute to say no to) and the crabbiness, yeah, the weekend wasn't terribly great.

Monday started out better, aside from the little Monster Munchkin teething and being up all night. (The hubby really saved my bacon here and did most of the work, because for some odd reason, I was beyond exhausted.) I got to the gym, did my aerobics class, some weights, and a little ab work, then added on some elliptical, and took Cutezilla for a walk before Daddy got home. Our block is only 0.7 miles, but it's mostly uphill, so it's not a terrible trip for me. Just short. Very short.

Tuesday, I stuck to the diet at least, and my dance instructor gave me a good run at my lesson. I had actually sweated through my shirt when we were done. Tomorrow is Step Interval, although I miss the plain, basic Step Aerobics class they used to have. The class is at a decent time, too, so I'll be able to get in my carbs long enough before it starts, which will be nice.

Here's to hoping.

Preliminary Weekend Success!

2008-10-11T13:24:00.002-04:00

Now don't screw it up!

I made it to the gym this morning. I did a little on the elliptical, 100 squats with 175 lbs on the machine, some more inner/outer thigh work, and a short stint on the treadmill.

I think once I'm positive my hand is okay, that I'm going to add in more upper body weights. I already do the weightlifting classes, but when I miss one, I should do weights anyway -- depending on what the previous day's activities were, of course.

I'm considering buying a pair of jeans, though. I really really don't want to, since I have my "goal" jeans upstairs... but I need something to wear in the meantime. It just sucks that my goal jeans just happened to randomly come to me by accident -- without working for it -- and now that I've working my butt off (as literally as that is possible) for over eight months, they still won't fit.

It seems like every time I have some small success, my head reminds me that I'm still way behind in the win-loss percentages.

But I'm still feeling good, so maybe I shouldn't ruin it with clothes shopping. I can make it through today with no problems, I know. Tomorrow may be difficult with the baby shower, but at least the whole day won't be a loss. It's not like my aunts are going to stay and hang out and demand pasta and beer, you know?

Oh, speaking of....

Addendums to the list:

Beer
Chicken Strips from Chili's
Olive Garden / Carrabba's Italian Grill

It's 4am. WalMart Trip!

2008-10-10T14:10:00.003-04:00

So I suppose I should explain the WalMart remark from the last blog entry.

Before our trip to ATL, I came up with the "brilliant" idea of turning our evening car ride into an extended trip to Atlanta. The hubby actually agreed with me. And that's where things started to go wrong.

(Not that he's normally wrong. In fact, most of the time, he's right. Unless he's agreeing with me, it seems.)

So 9 o'clock rolls around, and we all pack up, jump in the car, and head for Atlanta. She passes out, the hubby passes out, and all is looking pretty good. We get to our friend's house, get her upstairs, into her bedding... and for a minute she wakes up, and sees she's not at home. Of course, this is one of those terrifying moments in the life of a parent with a kid that refuses to sleep. But miraculously, she dedided she was tired, and crawled into my lap. About half an hour later, I managed to get her back into the bedding, and it looked like Operation Night Train was a success.

Until she woke up an hour later... screaming at the top of her lungs.

The hubby, being the fantastic guy he is, got up and took her downstairs, trying to placate her. Two hours after that, and she was still screaming, I took over. Since there was nothing I could do either, and I knew everyone within five blocks could hear her, I did what any other insane and desperate person would do: we went to WalMart.

Now, if you're like me and most other new mothers, you've probably done a lot of reading. Of course when you get to that Sleep Chapter, they always say things like, "Routine!" and "Earlier is better!" And then they proceed to lecture about how they see mothers out with their babies at 10 and 11 o'clock at night. Well let me tell you right now: it's not their fault! I know from personal experience. And as a result, She Who Must Not Sleep and I checked out every square inch of that WalMart, and double checked prices on six kinds of cheese and baby products. And oh, yeah, she was definitely wide awake for the whole excursion.

Around 5:30, on our way back to the house, I called my mother.

"Hello???"

"Hey Mom! What's happening?!?"

"Oh no. Let me guess... Ava?"

It took another 45 minutes of driving to get her back out. And then, guess what? She woke up at a little before 8am. Yip-freaking-ee. But I used the excuse to indulge in a little hi-test coffee with French Vanilla creamer, which was awesome. And then off we went to my grandaunts' place.

We're not exactly sure what prompted the whole night of not sleeping, but we think it was a combination of being at a new place and teething problems. In the morning, when I finally saw my friends and apologized.

"If it helps at all, I know at least two other people who were a lot more miserable than you were!"

Oh well. Another story for the baby book, I guess.

Toast Those Buns!

2008-10-10T13:17:00.003-04:00

Since my hand's been bothering me, I did all leg stuff yesterday. I did 2 sets of 200 calories on the elliptical (20 minutes each) with some weightlifting in between (calves, inner thigh, outer thigh, and LOTS of squats) . I also got in one short walk with the Monster Munchkin, which was nice.

Today, I can definitely feel it in my legs and my backside, which is great, so I did a little more elliptical -- one more 20 minute / 200 calorie session -- with some more leg work (calves, inner thigh, outer thigh) and some upper body work (flies and bicep presses, I think they're called). Hopefully I'll get another walk in today, too. It's beautiful outside. About 72 degrees, and overcast. It's PERFECT. The little booger seems to like it too.

The next challenge will be getting through the weekend without killing the diet. I'm back to last week's low weight, so that's great. The problem is, I have a baby shower to go to on Sunday, and a miserable ability to turn down dessert. Especially something decadent. At least I can probably get through Saturday okay. Nothing is planned, and I can request to go to places where there's something on the menu that I can really enjoy, that's still on the diet. I can even hit the gym tomorrow, and take Cutezilla with me, and give the hubby a break. He really needs it.

Yesterday, I again work up to no husband at 5am. So I found my way into the living room, and he was passed out on the couch, and she was happily shredding a magazine. It turns out, she had woken up at 3am, and he'd tried to give her a bottle and get her back to sleep. Obviously that didn't work out as planned. So I took her and let him get back to sleep.

After a nice car ride at 6am, she finally dozed back off and slept for another whole two hours.

At least we didn't end up at WalMart again.

Things I Want After The Weight Goes

2008-10-09T00:08:00.003-04:00

In no particular order:

MY PANTS BACK
Pancakes (cheesecake pancakes, preferably, and fried so they get that crispy ring around the edge)
Yogurt
BREAD
To bake a few cakes/cookies/whatever
A HOT, FRESH Kripsy Kreme Doughnut
Outback Cheese Fries
To drink coffee without thinking about the sugar
Pizza Hut Pan Pizza
Alice Springs Chicken
Kashi TLC Honey Sesame Crackers

Looks like a trip to Outback is in order, doesn't it?

Hmm... can't think of much else. I'm sure there's more, but the pants are the most important goal. I miss them, and now my butt is going to freeze until I can get back into them, because I'M NOT BUYING MORE PANTS WHEN I HAVE PERFECTLY GOOD JEANS THAT SHOULD FIT ME ALREADY!!!! I feel like I've put in a lot of work over the past eight months, and that's really my big goal... I'm just frustrated that with what I feel like is a lot of effort, I haven't seen many results. Especially with splitting my pants wide open the other day.

Cutezilla and I at least had a decent day, I guess. I got to the Step Aerobics class, too, which turned out to be a step interval class... 370 calories, maybe, but I was sort of stuck with my hand, so I went really light on the weights, and tried not to push it too much. The intervals are supposed to burn 35% more fat, so that's sort of nice, at least.

I gained some this week -- three or four pounds -- but it's water weight. Kind of weird to think I've gained a half-gallon milk jug somewhere. But anyway, that should be better in a few days. It's not my salt intake, it's hormones, at least. Somehow that's better than me eating stupid, like I normally do.

But hopefully that's also why I'm not feeling fantastic at the moment. Anyway, just need to get some good sleep in tonight, I think.

Cutezilla

2008-10-07T23:46:00.004-04:00

Just because I felt like sharing... pics of Cutezilla.

My buddy Jake coined the Cutezilla term this morning. Gotta give props where they're due!

Thank God for Retail Therapy

2008-10-07T21:45:00.002-04:00

So the hubby gets home, points at me and immediately says, "You. Out of the house. Now!" I don't know about any of you, but who am I to question the house PhD's opinion?

So after a nice little shower -- we both thought that was a reasonable delay -- I grabbed the keys and my cards, and off I went... to Hancock Fabrics? I wanted to look at Halloween Costumes, so I thought I'd look at patterns. Not that I sew, but hey, I can think about it, right? Which is about all the time I get with Cutezilla running around. She's adorable, but the time consumption is amazing sometimes.

Actually, before I stopped at the fabric store, I was driving by the mall, and saw that one of their jewelry stores was going out of business. I decided I'd drop in, and while I was there, I thought I'd do some early Christmas shopping for Mom. I did some other shopping for a friend, who will remain nameless, in case someone googles this thing. So that felt pretty good.

Then, after the fabric store, Halloween Express was right next door, so I popped in, and found an Arwen costume from Lord of the Rings, which I thought would work well for our "family costume theme" this year: St. George and the Dragon. Not that we normally have a costume theme, but this year we do, and I'm pretty excited about it. I'll let you guess who's playing the Dragon. My only problem is the dress is a teeny bit big. But then again, it's supposed to be for "up to size 12." And this gives me a great excuse to buy a tiara!

After costume shopping, I went over to Barnes&Noble and picked up a couple of language audio cd's, and a new album by The Gotan Project. To put it simply: they rock!

However not all share my enthusiasm for tango music. Upon my arrival home, I told the hubby about my newest acquisition, and he shakes his head at me.

HIM: "That's not that crap you were listening to on Pandora.com the other day was it?"

ME: "Just because you don't like the accordion...!"

How could you not like tango music???

All in all, I'm feeling better. I think the hubby was right, and I needed some "alone time." I have the finger all bandanged up, too, so hopefully I won't damage it any further, and it'll start feeling better. I'm going to try Step Aerobics with it anyway, tomorrow. Hopefully that's not an awful idea.

Tuesday Bust

2008-10-07T17:36:00.000-04:00

I did something to my hand yesterday. No idea what it was exactly, but I'm guessing it had something to do with the weightlifting, and I just aggravated some tendons in my hand. I've been taking anti-inflammants, so hopefully in the next few days it'll be better.

In other "bust" news, I managed to spray the ceiling with motrin and berry juice, after Ava screamed all morning, even after we had a nice few minutes with a full bottle -- I figured she must be teething, and that's where the motrin/juice came in -- I stepped on Ava's sunglasses and broke them, I changed a diaper (a nasty one) only to find out there were no wipes in the wipes box, and then -- the coupe de gras -- I split my jeans open. Not a little, hideable rip. Nooooo, of course not. A big huge GAPING rip that shows my entire backside. At least I was home.

Anyway, I'm sticking to the diet today, at least.

On the good side, I did get a three hour nap in, and so did Ava. I feel a lot better on that count. Hopefully tomorrow will go better.

I did find out that half 'n half only has one carb per a 2 tablespoon serving. So load that into my decaf coffee with a packet of splenda, and it's actually not too bad. (Still not diggin' the artificial sweeteners.)

But the hubby just got home, so maybe tonight will go some better.

24 Hours of Gluttony

2008-10-06T00:33:00.000-04:00

So just as I'm coming out of Birthday Season... Thanksgiving hits. And then Christmas.

This weekend we went to ATL to celebrate the birthday of one of my girlfriends, and I think we had a pretty good time. I missed out on the Petit LeMans race at Road Atlanta -- a ten-hour endurance race, where the winner came in first by ~4.5 seconds -- but I spent some good time hanging out with my grandaunts, who are both in their nineties.

Sounds odd, but it was kind of fun. They live in a building like a dorm, but don't have to get out of bed to go to class. They show movies, have a cafeteria, have classes, like yoga, Tai Chi, crocheting/knitting... it's actually kind of cool. Let's face it, though: not many boys make it to the retirement homes, so there's a lot of girlie activities. But I think Ava and I both had a good time with the aunties. Especially Ava since she stole Aunt Trixie's walker and ran around the building with it. She had a blast.

Except I left my damn camera. AGAIN.

The hubby made some AWESOME lasagna. And okay, I could have NOT had some, or I could have asked him to make some low-carb lasagna, but... food is a part of the whole "having fun" experience, in my book. Not only that, but he only makes this stuff ONCE A YEAR. For MY birthday. And that's after I beg him. For weeks.

I do get it one other time of year. His mom makes it for Thanksgiving, as part of the four or five-day holiday. If things work out to my advantage, she makes it earlier in the week, and the morning after, I wonder downstairs, in almost full zombie-mode, pull open the fridge, cut myself a HUGE slice of the stuff, warm it up a little in the microwave, and then chow down while everyone stares at me over their eggs, cereal, coffee, and muffins. Then for lunch, I repeat the same process, except a little less zombied, and with turkey sandwiches instead of breakfast stuffs. Midnight snack? You guessed it. Lasagna it is!

So when an unexpected opportunity for mozzarella-covered Pasta Bliss came up, I couldn't say no. It's bad enough getting the stink-eye from the hubby when I order clearly inferior lasagna at a restaurant. But he doesn't MAKE it, and when you're jonesing, a fix is a fix. So I said yes to the pasta this weekend.

And yes to Chick-Fil-A... and potato chips with Ranch dip... and cheesecake... and two coffees, both overloaded in sugar... oh, and a Chipotle burrito where the tortilla looked like it was going to explode, if I asked for a single extra ingredient. Normally this would all kill me, but for some odd reason, my pants weren't tight in their usual places. So I don't feel bad at all, and back to the diet on Monday.

I've even got some portobello mushroom burgers already made up for the week, thanks to making too much stuffing for my stuffed steaks on Thursday. I made six stuffed steaks, so I had dinner made for Thursday and Friday, too. Leftover ingredients are pretty awesome sometimes, really.

My cheesecake turned out okay, too, I guess. I tried a variation using yogurt cheese, instead of cream cheese, because I can't bring myself to use reduced fat anything unless I know it tastes great. But yogurt cheese is made from fat-free yogurt, and it's loaded with vanilla, so I thought it would work better than reduced fat... but it wasn't entirely up to my standards as cheesecakes go. I think next time I'll use a combination and see how that works.

My daughter also proved how well she pays attention to things, as well, this weekend. I went upstairs and turned on the computer, because I refuse to order food over the phone. Whenever I do, the order is always wrong, they can never understand me over the phone:

ME: So I'd like an extra large pepperoni and onion with extra cheese and a hand-tossed crust.

THEM: Okay, that'll be a Medium with pineapple, anchiovies and no sauce on a thin crust, right?

I just don't get it. And THEN, it takes me a half-an-hour to try and get them to correct it, and it still ends up wrong. So I quit ordering food over the phone. I make the hubby or friends do it. I would even go so far as to accost random people with a phone, if I'm really desperate. (if that seems crazy to you, please refer to the title of this blog.)

So anyway, back to the story: I am half-way through and happily clicking away my order over the website when all of a sudden, the screen flips over to the Windows-standard green fields and blue skies, and shuts off. I look down and find my daughter looking very pleased with herself, as she pulls her sticky little ninja fingers off the power button. So I was forced to abandon my order and actually go in and order in person. But the line wasn't too long, so it worked out. And Ava got an extra thirty minutes of nap, which is always awesome... for us!

And, like I said, back to the diet tomorrow. The net loss is what I'm going for, and one 24-hour window isn't going to kill me. But I also know better than to weigh myself after Moe's or Chipotle.

How Many Licks Does it Take...

2008-10-01T23:41:00.000-04:00

Before the calories count?

I finally really started feeling like myself again last Friday or so... and then we autocrossed all day Saturday and Sunday. So basically my weekend was totally shot. But my parents came in to take care of the booger, who was NOT happy at all that her parents decided to ditch her.

Mom did a great job with Ava, and I heard not a single PEEP out of her the whole time I was home, so that was awesome. My mother rocks! Although she did call me on Sunday [late] afternoon in a total panic.

"WHERE ARE YOU???"

"What do you mean, 'Where am I?' I'm at the autocross. I told you I'd be here ALL DAY, didn't I?"

"When you said all day, I didn't know you meant all night too!"

I keep forgetting mom's bedtime is like 8pm or something, so when Ava doesn't go to bed until 9... oh yeah. It gets interesting. They even got up with her in the night -- teething season is here again! -- since neither Chris nor I got more than five hours of sleep on any given day. That sort of happens when you sign up to be on course by 7am, and the site is an hour away. :meh:

But I won my class on Saturday! (I won't mention Sunday's three SECOND loss, though.) And I think I did pretty well at the Mini Match, too! I enjoyed it, at least.

I still didn't close my standard two second gap on my buddy, Jake, but, well, I guess it is his car. However, if I were competeing with the boys, I would have come in fifth, by 1.861 seconds. I beat the fifth place guy by 0.3, which isn't too bad.

Oh, right. What is autocrossing? It is "a timed driving event." Meaning a bunch of idiots get up at god-awful early, stick a bunch of cones in a parking lot, and time themselves running around said cones. Sounds dumb, but damn is it fun.

Now here's the hitch: I spent the whole weekend autocrossing, but one of my girlfriends had a birthday over the weekend, and we spent it at the autocross instead of celebrating with her. Which is okay, since we're extending her birthday celebration -- HOWEVER, today was my first day feeling like getting back on the wagon... and I decided to make a cheesecake for her. Well, she asked for the cheesecake... but it's just wrong to make a dessert when you're on a low-carb, no sugar diet.

But I'd been jonesing to make one for weeks now, so at least I had a good excuse. Still, the question needs to be asked: how many licks before the calories and carbs count???

I'm hoping this thing turns out okay. It's currently sitting in my oven, cooling. Hopefully the top won't crack. The edges are already a little overdone, but if the top cracks too, I'll be mad. This time, though, I used two full 9x13 pans full of water for the water bath, since I can't immerse this particular pan: it's too big.

Cross your fingers for me.

Oh and your laugh for the day:

As my buddy Rock put it, "Probably not."

My Knight in a Shining... Mazda3?

2008-09-25T01:18:00.000-04:00

The hubby came home this afternoon, just in time for lunch. If I've never said it before, let me say it now: I LOVE THAT MAN.

He came in, did all the dishes while Ava and I slept -- her 10pm bedtime also included a "midnight" snack at 3am... after I went to bed at 1am. Then after he got done, Ava woke up, and he took her to lunch and let me sleep for another whole hour. THEN, he brought me back lunch from Chick-Fil-A, and then took Ava with him to the park! It was awesome! It was amazing! It was... QUIET.

So I called the spa and scheduled some medieval torture. With the Mini-Match coming up, if there was ever a time to get it done, now is that time. The lady who had me was awesome too. Very nice, very sweet -- and checked EVERY ingredient on EVERY product to make sure it was all okay for me and my allergies. We also commiserated over the problems of having a nut allergy, since her son has one too.

For medieval torture, I came out fairly well relaxed.

I'm still sick, though. I feel like I should have hacked up most of my lungs by now, but there still seems to be at least one left in my chest, somehow. I think my allergies are having a serious effect on my recovery though. I didn't do all that well today, and I didn't have any antihistimines... and then when I finally did, it was like night and day. I just felt SO much better. But I also realized sometime yesterday that I'm taking somewhere between 6 and 10 benedryl a day.

Oh well. It works. After that, who cares?

I also went out and bought some makeup for the Mini Match this weekend. Should be interesting.

Living the Single [Mom] Life

2008-09-24T00:21:00.000-04:00

Ugh. I know since I quit working that I've really lost track of time, including days of the week. So since the hubby left on Sunday, and I've been entertaining The Avanator 24/7. Since her naps are somewhat abbreviated -- now we're down to one two-hour nap, on the incredible days -- it gets a little taxing. Especially when considering she gets up early (before me is early) and goes to bed somewhat late. Tonight it was 10pm, and that was nearly miraculous. Sunday night was a midnight bedtime -- NOT my idea -- and last night was 11pm. Tonight I actually got to pretend I have a life and watched five back-to-back episodes of The New Adventures of The Old Christine, soaked my poor feet, and then remembered I forgot to eat dinner.

I think if I were a single mom, I'd KILL to have a job for some "down time"... The hubby gets home tomorrow, and then stays for almost a whole 24 hours before he heads back out for another business trip. He said, "Well at least I don't have an out-of-town girlfriend." You know what? If he did have one, I'd probably be fine with it, as long as he took the booger with him.

Ugh. What a week. I love the booger, I really do, but... she's a little high maintenance in the entertainment area. I caught myself thinking tonight, "Well, at least the week's almost over." And then this voice in my head popped in and said, "Honey, I hate to break it to you, but it's only Tuesday."

It's not all bad, of course. We played today and had a pretty good time. I handled things a little better not being quite so sick... and my parents are coming up to handle her for the weekend. But it's just so consuming.

This weekend will be slammed too. The Mini Match is on Saturday, squeezed in between two days of autocrossing. It's the largest autocross event of the year, in conjunction with another region. We're expecting over 215 drivers. It's going to be insane. So on Friday, I have my last lesson before the Match, drive to Laurens to prep for Saturday morning, go home, and then get up Saturday morning, to be in Laurens at 8am (or earlier). I leave just after lunch to go put on my dress, makeup, and do my hair, for the Match, drive directly to the Greenville Country Club, dance until 6:30pm or so, and then head home, pass out, and head back to the autocross the next morning, again at 8am.

WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING???

I had to cancel my dance lesson on Monday because I was sick, and didn't really have a babysitter for Ava. When she was younger -- and less mobile -- I took her with me to the lessons, but now she's all over the place. So I'm a little worried/anxious.

Ugh. What a week this is shaping up to be.

The Plague: Day Five

2008-09-22T23:45:00.000-04:00

Going on Six. I would have rather have been scraped out of bed with a spatula and smeared across a gravel parking lot than gotten out of bed this morning. Thursday when I went in to the doctor, I had a scratchy throat and wanted to make sure it wasn't something like strep.

He said I looked okay, aside from an allergy-aggravated sinus problem, and at the time, I FELT okay -- at least compared to the last few days. So Friday, I didn't feel great, so I stayed home most of the day, aside from one or two Sanity Trips. (Apparently I need to leave the house once per day or I start getting some sort of weird cabin fever.) But I was feeling well enough, so I just kept thinking, "I'll get some good sleep, and in the morning I'll feel better." Saturday rolled around, and I played some golf with the hubby. Only nine, though, because I still felt pretty lousy, but the day was too nice to waste, and I really wanted to enjoy having back-to-back babysitters. Then after golf, we dropped in at Sonic, and I had a mini-banana split. (They're so ADORABLE!)

Then we went home, got showers, and the hubby and I went to enjoy a nice dinner out at the American Grocery Restaurant, and the evening at the Symphony. The soloist, Karen Gomyo, played a Stradivarius violin called ex Foulis. I have no idea what makes a virtuoso, but she played for something like half-an-hour with no music at all. She just played. (The hubby's comment, "You know she's just making that up as she goes, right?") It was really incredible.

The restaurant had some really amazing coffee, too. This place in Traveler's Rest, The Leopard Forest Coffee Company, owns a coffee farm in Zimbabwe, and sells it here in South Carolina. Could be a nice little adventure trip to take sometime... you know, after the recovery.

But I'm on antibiotics now. The doc had the good sense to send me off with a prescription. I don't know why I didn't get it filled earlier, but I guess later is better than never. This week is almost entirely shot though, and it's not even Tuesday.

I also need to figure out a nice thank you gift for my babysitter's mother. I called her to see if my babysitter was available. She said that Leah, my babysitter was in play practice, but that she -- the mother -- wasn't far from the house, and wouldn't mind coming over for a few minutes to keep my booger occupied for awhile. It was a godsend, I have to be honest. My daughter just wanted someone to play with, and this was exactly what she got. For two hours. It was awesome. Cookies? Maybe cheesecake?

But hopefully tomorrow will go better.

:crossesfingers:

Sick -- and Not Just in the Head

2008-09-20T00:02:00.000-04:00

I have some sort of cold or something. Probably allergy related, being that it's that time of the year. But then again, living in the South, it's always that time of year. Since I got my own personal Typhoid Mary, I've been getting them a lot more often, however, it is better than when I was pregnant, thankfully.

But I spent most of today and yesterday in the house, doing nothing but trying to coax my body into fighting this thing off. Obviously, I'm eating whatever I feel like -- including three sleeves of Premium Saltines and two half-boxes of Kashi cereal. Way to fall completely off the wagon, huh?

But I'm feeling some better today, especially after a two hour nap with my daughter. If I'm a notch up tomorrow, I'll be back on the diet. But only if I'm feeling better. I won't be doing anything in the way of exercise this weekend, except maybe some golf, and sitting on my butt at the Symphony. But by Monday, I should be back up to 100%, and back at the Y.

I still haven't figured out quite how to manage the carbs and my workouts together. I think I'll just start out with a slice of whole grain bread. (No pumpernickel in sight at the grocery store.) I'll see how I feel during/after the workout and then go from there. I would just like to be able to do as much as possible before the Mini Match and autocross this weekend.

Guess we'll see how it goes.

The Confession

2008-09-17T23:41:00.000-04:00

Hi. I'm SouthernTiger. I... God, I don't even know if I can say it. Okay. Here it is. I... I'm a... I'm a Carb Addict. And today, I went too far.

Honestly I just meant to give myself a little something to work with to get over being sick, and, um, yeah, I over-did it. Go figure. But hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better. And hopefully my little Monster Munchkin didn't get it too... although it's really tough to not pass things along when you wake up regularly to someone shoving a pacifier in your mouth. I'm not sure if she does it for "safe keeping" or if she's trying to share. Sort of cute and really odd at the same time, though.

She also started walking tonight. Almost three full feet. It was awesome! She even did it TWICE! So maybe we'll have another way to get her a little more worn out before the bedtime process.

Obstacle(s) of the Day

2008-09-17T16:15:00.000-04:00

This morning, as luck would have it -- or maybe more like Murphy's Law -- I woke up sick. Not terribly sick, but enough that my lymphnodes are pretty swollen and uncomfortable. And enough to know that today is not a great day to work out.

Obstacle Number Two turned out to be the fact that She Who Must Not Sleep has found a way to defy our newfound car-ride process for getting her to doze off for us. Instead of fighting us tooth and nail all night, she dozed off in the car, just like magic, and then THREE THIRTY AM, she woke up. Fortunately, I didn't hear anything until 4:30, but what I woke up to was her babbling away... in the living room, not over the monitor. I thought that was a little odd, and then I rolled over to see what the hubby thought about it, and realized he was gone. I rolled out of bed in my usual zombie fashion, tromped into the living room, to find my daughter happily waving away at me, as if it was 2pm in the afternoon.

"What are you doing?"

He looked at me like I was an idiot, and said, "We're playing. Can't you see that?"

So I took over so he could get some sleep. In the end, thank God she was snotty, because that let me not feel bad about drugging her up with benedryl. She even slept in until almost 9am.

Everyone says, "Oh, she needs to be on a SCHEDULE. ROUTINE is the KEY!" They say this like it's some sort of ancient guru-like piece of advice, the keystone of all good mothering and bedtime magic. Even my mother said it, including details of how it was all supposed to go down. Bath, pajamas, a little reading, rocking and a bottle.

Problem was, we had done all of that. In fact, it had been working like a charm for several weeks. We honestly don't know what happened, outside of the fact that our daughter threw us a curve ball, and we didn't really recover from it. So we instituted the car ride. It was like magic. Pop her in, and out she went. It was amazing!

So when my hubby went out of town, and my parents came in to help me out -- since I was completely losing my mind with the sleep problems, and we had only figured it out the night before -- I left Grammy and Grandad to take care of the bedtime routine.

"Oh we'll be fine," mom told me. "We'll give her a bath, and we'll rock, and we'll have some milk, and it'll be great! She'll be out by the time you get home!"

Dad looks at me and says gruffly, "We got this under control. Get outta here."

When I got back to the house a little while later, I come in and find mom sitting on the couch with the Energizer Bunny I spawned, wide awake, of course.

"I take it you didn't take her on a car ride, huh?" I said.

Mom looks at me, bleary-eyed -- her bedtime is normally 8pm or earlier, and it was now getting close to 10pm -- and says, "Nevermind what I said! You're doing the best you can with her!"

So anyway, I woke up late for the Step Aerobics Class, which I guess is okay, considering how I'm feeling. But I did ride the recumbent bike for a little while, and then the elliptical.

The up-shot to today is, my scales say I've lost five pounds since Thursday. This is the most I've lost without pharmaceutical assistance since last October. Not only that, but I feel like I look better, too. Like my shirt is starting to fit me the way it used to. So today, I may be going off the diet so that my body devote some energy to recovering, but tomorrow or the day after, it's definitely back on. Maybe with a little modification for my workouts, but it's definitely back on.

The Yo-Yo

2008-09-17T00:01:00.000-04:00

Ever hear that joke about ADD kids?

Joke: "How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

Answer: "Wanna go ride bikes?"

Yeah, it's a bit like that inside this little brain of mine. For every decision I come up with, I rethink it six different times and come up with twelve more options... repeat process. Dieting and exercise is apparently no different.

I started the low-carb thing, right? The South Beach Diet, because I've been flatlined in my weight since, well, let's be honest. OCTOBER. I started working out in February, and I thought, you know what? Screw calorie counting, I need to work out. I know what's a sensible meal, and what's not. I can NOT eat at Outback every week. That's reasonable, right?

And then when May rolled around, oh GUESS WHAT? Still at the same weight, and my clothes still fit moderately the same. Great. Zero net progress.

So I went to the doctor about it, because I was driving the hubby INSANE over it. And let's be fair. I have a slight propensity to obsess over things. Hardly even noticeable.

So the doc says, hey, no big deal. I've got some meds. Sometimes a girl's metabolism gets shot when she has a baby. It's not unusual.

So I take the meds. And I lose another ten pounds. (Actually I started losing the weight after I got a 24 hour stomach bug and tossed my cookies and drank nothing but Gatorade for a full day and a half. Ain't viruses great?) I decided to go off of them, mainly because I would get lightheaded if I forgot to eat, and it was the sort of lightheadedness where a little red light starts blinking in your head that says, "For the love of God, you idiot, don't DRIVE!"

I kept the ten pounds for a little while, and then my in-laws and a series of other events came around, and I gained BACK the ten pounds. Plus a little. How this is possible after skipping ONE WEEK, I will never know. I think, "Okay, I guess maybe I need to do more." So I started doing more classes. More variety.

The scale? Same numbers.

I do three classes in a day. For a WEEK.

The scale? SAME FREAKING NUMBERS.

So I got depressed, and reminded myself I needed to get back to it, otherwise I will never see the bottom side of that number. So I started the blog, to give me some incentive. Can you guess what happened then? You betcha. SAME THREE STINKIN' NUMBERS.

And then I had my little [unrelated] visit to the GI Doc. He suggested low-carb, and I said, "Yeah, okay, why not? I haven't tried that, at least."

Only problem is that with working out, you need the carbs. I'm dragging butt so badly in class, I can barely get through one workout, much less two or even just the elliptical. So I did some reading today (after I destroyed the kitchen with my daughter and actually reassembled the whole thing; go me!), and apparently I can have some carbs. Low-fat yogurt, oatmeal, or pumpernickel bread. (How they came to pumpernickel bread, I'll never know. Why not something standard, like, say, Indonesian flatbread from Jakarta?)

So tomorrow, I'll try to get some carbs in before I workout. I have some oatmeal, but it's instant. But I could possibly get to eat one of my Kashi cereals in the pantry. Kashi is supposed to be a low-glycemic load food. I would have to guess so, seeing that one of the cereals has 25g of carbs per serving, but only 5 of that is sugar, 5 more is fiber, and the rest is listed as "other." The new one I bought, Vive, has 43g of carbs, 10 from sugar, and 12 from fiber.

I'm sort of conflicted, though, because the scales finally moved. How can I really argue with any progress at all, after looking at the same three numbers on my scale for almost 10 months?

Oh, and by the way: I made it to a cycle class today!

Postin' It Up

2008-09-16T13:52:00.001-04:00

Okay, so here are the week and weekend calories. They don't look too bad, I guess. These include my start to the South Beach Diet, which began on Thursday evening, September 11th.

(I also fixed all the images in the previous posts so that they link to the correctly-sized images, in case you actually wanted to read them... really, it's over-rated, though. Trust me.)

Last Weekend:

The Week:

The Autocross Weekend:

Autocrosses really do me in, but I am outside all day, usually running around, so I don't feel SO bad about the calories. But THIS particular weekend, I managed to snag a hotel room ALL TO MYSELF!!! So I took a long, fantastically silent bath, did some stretching, and buried myself in two beds worth of pillows. Literally. I had pillows under me, on top of me, behind my back. There's something to be said about an overabundance of pillows. So deliciously fabulous. Oh wow, I want to go back right now!

To top it all off -- and wreck my diet -- they had a hot continental breakfast. Doughnuts? Not a problem. I can ignore those. Bagels? Pastries? Again, meh, who cares? But OMG. Carbon's Malted Waffles? No. I must have them. They are so tasty, so deliciously buttery and soft. And if they're just a tad cripsy? EVEN BETTER! I've been really tempted to find a hotel in the area that has them, too, and just go.

:sigh:

But that will have to wait until after this whole Phase One of the SBD.

Today I Feel... Good?

2008-09-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

It's been weird, but all day, I've been feeling pretty good. I got up, made myself an omelet (which is pretty miraculous in and of itself), got the diaper bag properly restocked, finished cycling my laundry, wrote an email or two, and got to the gym by 10:30 for my cardio/weightlifting class.

During class, too, I was looking at myself in the mirror -- normally a horrendously BAD idea -- but today it seemed like I looked a little less frumpy, I guess. The scales dropped back down, too. That's always variable, though. There is about three pounds variance in my weight from morning to evening, usually, depending on what I ate and did. I'm trying to drink lots of water, too, and today I think I did okay there, too.

I had a dance lesson, and my instructor liked my dress. He said it fit well, and didn't look like it would flare up too badly on the turns. The straps are pretty secure, too, which is nice. I can't keep a strap on my shoulders unless it's literally glued there. (And as luck would have it, I'm allergic to the "glue" -- double-sided adhesive tape.) I was feeling pretty decent even before I went to my dance lesson, though.

I got on the elliptical again today, and did almost 4 miles, which burned 400 calories. I'm going to try for the early cycle class tomorrow, but it's hard to get to that 9am class on time for me... but I'm going to give it my best shot, and the diaper bag is already packed.

I even made breakfast tonight, for the rest of the week. Turkey sausage crustless quiches with cheese. The turkey tastes awesome, too! I actually ate the leftovers as a snack. The recipe called for 1/4th cup turkey sausage for 6 cups. The turkey only comes in one POUND packages, so I had more than enough for a full muffin pan. But I added more meat, since I'm getting tired of eggs already. I've had at least three omelets since Thursday, and I've had to buy another dozen eggs.

Tonight, though, I made parmesan chicken, which turned out really tasty. I was really surprised at how good it was. I used a container of parmesan cheese as "breading," added paprika, pepper, and italian seasonings, and baked it in the oven. No bread crumbs, and parmesan is moderately low in fat anyway.

I may have gotten carried away at the grocery store though. I picked up chicken -- which made tonight's meal, plus two others which are currently marinating in the fridge -- lean, thin-cut steak, mushrooms to stuff into the steak, and more mushrooms to be stuffed with spinach and cheese. But it's good that I'm really interested in what I'm making. I need to pick up some veggies here and there, too. I had some leftover asparagus tonight, at least. Not a lot, but it's something.

I still need to record my calories, and post them, but I'd actually like to get in bed before 1am, for a change. If my daughter takes a decent nap tomorrow, maybe I'll do it then. Cross your fingers for me.

Week 3 Summary: My Soul for a Cracker

2008-09-15T00:12:00.000-04:00

Well. I guess it's going a little better. The number on the scales finally dropped... one pound. Okay, it dropped FOUR, and then went back up, although not ALL the way up. Regardless I'm just a little wary of throwing a party over it, when I have this Scale Flatline History.

However, I did try on some pants I have, and they were LESS tight in the thighs and in the waist, so I can be ecstatic about that at least. It's a sign of progress of some sort, and it's what I needed.

I also took up the doctor on his suggestion about low-carb dieting. I started on Thursday, and I've done okay. I was kind of flailing around for a few days, but I went to the library on Saturday and sheepishly checked out The South Beach Diet and the accompanying cookbook. It's actually a combo of low-fat and low-carb, which sort of sucks. Low-fat cheese is usually pretty terrible in my opinion, in addition to being dry, but I guess I can always poke around until I find one I like.

The headaches are better, though, and the cravings aren't so bad right now. I'm not terrible about my sweets, as a general rule, but I seriously miss my yogurt and my Kashi crackers. Breakfast is not going to be fun in the morning, though. I did okay this weekend, because I slept though breakfast and ended up at lunch, which was nice. (And wonderful of the hubby; thank you, sweetheart!)

I don't have anything prepared for the morning, though, and I need to make a run to the grocery store in order to start having an appropriate breakfast in general. All I've got right now are three boxes of Kashi cereals I'm dying for, that of course, I can't have. I can't skip it though, because if I do, I'll never make it though my workout classes. I skipped on Friday (accidentally), and it was all I could do to make it through a simple yoga class. Not that yoga is easy, exactly, but it's definitely a lower exertion level than cycle or step aerobics. I was actually grateful when the nursery came and got me to take my daughter because she was upset.

So tomorrow, it'll probably be tomatoes, cheese, turkey, and whatever else I might have time for, that's also Phase One Approved. I have some new whole-grain, vanilla-graham, probiotic cereal from Kashi that looks fantastic, but that will have to wait. I keep reminding myself that Phase One is only for two weeks, and I only have eleven days left to go.

My liquid intake has been terrible since I started the South Beach Diet (SBD), though. I got close yesterday, but still didn't make my goal of 60 ounces of liquid. I was making up part of that number with milk and fruit juice. The SBD takes out everything except a cup of decaf in the morning -- with Splenda as a sweetener -- and water for the rest. I'm not a very good water drinker. Even during a workout where I'm sweating through my shirt, I'm still really bad about not drinking enough. Which, of course, is why I've been recording the number of ounces I'm getting.

I'm still counting calories, too, and I'll post those up later, of course.

But I guess, overall, things are a little better. Not enough for a celebration, but definitely a tiny bit of a sign that I'm heading in the right direction.

This week's itinerary:
1 Cardio-Weight Class
2-3 Cycle Classes (I didn't make any last week, and I'm severly disappointed with myself.)
2 Weightlifting Classes
1000 Calories on the machines

I'll Have the Not Cool with a Side of Frustration

2008-09-10T22:07:00.000-04:00

I had a realization today. On this day last year, I weighed 14 pounds heavier. Just 14 pounds. One full year. I lost 25 pounds in a month, mostly due to my little girl, and her accompanying luggage. She was 7 pounds, not quite eight, plus the placenta, and if I estimate it correctly enough liquids to fill a gallon-sized milk jug, plus some.

I was feeling some better yesterday, I guess. But then I went to see a Gastroenterologist. I've had weird nausea off and on, randomly for years. I had six months solid just after college where I couldn't think about eating before noon without yakking. And no, I wasn't pregnant. Trust me. My husband finally made me actually ask someone about it, so today, I found myself sitting in a very well appointed doctor's office with beautiful oak furniture and heavy ironwork decor, talking to a man I just met about subjects I won't admit to the hubby I do, and hopefully never will. (It's gastroenterology, folks. Think about it.)

But sometimes I get this weird unsettled feeling, instead of true nausea, and throughout most of my pregnancy I felt this way. Like I was compelled to put something on my stomach, even though I wasn't hungry. It just didn't feel okay, didn't feel full, even though I knew I was totally stuffed to the gills. (Anyone want to guess why I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy?)

The only thing the doctor could tell me was that there is nothing really wrong with my stomach, per say. However, he did feel like my random nausea was metabolically related. So I suppose on the upside, at least when it happens again, I can identify it, and write it down, instead of wondering "What IS that?"

On the downside, though, he did mention that in order to lose more weight, I might want to consider a low-carb diet. I have no idea how to go about this. I tried a low-carb diet for a week a very long time ago, and had such bad headaches and nausea, I just felt like I was falling apart.

I don't eat a lot of what people consider "bad" carbs -- rice, pasta, white bread -- and when I do eat carbs, it's usually whole grains with lots of fiber. However, if I snack, I'm usually desperate for a cracker. Breakfast is even worse. If I want to get out of the house at a decent time (or at all) , breakfast needs to be portable. I need to either be able to pour it into a bowl or rip open a package. Mostly, that means cereal or waffles or some other item that can be stuffed into a toaster.

I usually have Kashi Heart to Heart cereal, which is awesome, but it has 25g of carbs per each 3/4 cup serving. I'm also allergic to nuts, so most low-carb cereals are right out. The only breakfast bars I've ever been able to eat without a side helping of Benedryl have been Full Circle Organic Breakfast Bars. (The Apple Cobbler rocks, too, btw.)

Not only that but, I don't drink anything but milk, coffee, fruit juice and water. No soft drinks whatsoever, and not much tea lately... However, a 1/2 cup milk contains 11g of carbs, and fruit juice... well, yeah, that would have to go, no question. But what this means is if I quit carbs, that leaves me with... what? The water?

But honestly, my net progress in one year has been 14 pounds. That's a little less than one pound per month. In addition, I was here, at this exact weight on October 29th of last year, before I started back to the gym and workouts.

I get an eye-twitch just thinking about all of this. Not to mention I didn't go to the gym because I just didn't feel like it, and my parents were in town helping me with She Who Must Not Sleep, and gave me just enough excuse not to go. (She picked her own title. Believe me when I say my choice would have been different.)

It's so hard to look at my "results" and my input, and really feel good. I'm severely disheartened and frustrated. I guess in another week, I'll make a call on the low-carb diet, if the cycle/spin doesn't start to make some impact.

Week 2 Summary: THIS. SUCKS.

2008-09-10T00:45:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling pretty confident about my workout schedule. I added cycling/spinning to my weekly routine, and I've been trying to do more weightlifting and aerobics in general. I thought I did okay last week. My caloric intake wasn't too bad, and aside from my car being invaded by a cockroach and preventing me from getting an official workout on Tuesday, I managed to burn a total of 4,064 calories.

Sure sounds like a lot, doesn't it?

My scales don't seem to think so. And okay, I haven't been on the more vigorous workout schedule for long, but maybe I was just hoping a little too hard. On top of which, during a belly dancing class I took, I just felt huge and awkward, and there were mirrors everywhere. I remember what I used to look like, and it just really seemed like I was nowhere near where I had been, so I was hugely depressed for most of the week about my weight. Not to mention when I went dancing on Thursday, none of my clothes fit well; they were all tight in the wrong places, and showed off everything I was trying to hide, and nothing looked good.

I still went to classes, though, and I still watched what I was eating. It is only the second week of the harder workouts. I just need to be patient, I hope.

The Extended Birthday-Holiday Eating Marathon

2008-09-10T00:37:00.001-04:00

As I said before, birthday calories shouldn't count. Even if it's not your own. In fact, if you THROWING a bash for someone, that should count as a workout. No kidding. All that running around, getting things straight, getting things clean, setting up, decorating, cooking... definitely a workout. I was up until 1am on Friday getting things ready for the hubby's birthday. We had a tailgate-style birthday, since the hubby is a real Tiger Football fan -- Clemson, of course. Is there another team?

My buddy made FABULOUS ribs, in addition to the wings I baked. He makes a kick-ass sauce that has become my hubby's No. 1 Favorite... which would have been good information to have before I made sixteen trips to various grocery stores looking for the previous number one. But how can you surprise someone if you ask them what they want? It's kind of hard to slip in those questions and be sly about it, you know what I mean?

For having a ton of food available, I was pretty good, though. I had eight wings (baked), a small section of boneless ribs, two "bones" worth of boned ribs, cinnamon sugar sweet potato chips (don't ever try them; you can't ever get enough), two oreos, and a minor amount of Tennessee Sin Dip, which I made low-fat by using yogurt cheese instead of cream cheese.

Part of what did me in was that the English Country Tea House was closing, so we went and had High Tea with scones and tea sandwiches, and a few pieces of cake... and a traditional pasty. About 800 calories or more, I think. I didn't have much of the cakes though, so I was moderately well behaved. But since it was the last day they were going to be open, my poor husband had to deal with an English Tea for lunch on his birthday. Fortunately for him, our buddy Rock was in town, and just his mere presence can level the playing field in the Estrogen versus Testosterone Battle, no matter how many girls you have in the room... or the building...

So to sum up the Labor Day / Hubby Birthday Weekend, my caloric intake for each day was as follows:

Friday: 1200 Calories
Saturday: 3166 Calories
Sunday: 2351 Calories
Monday: 1855 Calories

I did play a little golf, though. The course is fairly hilly, and I did carry my clubs, so that's something of a workout, even if we did have to quit at the Eighth Hole because of rain. (It was a really delicious day to be out, honestly. The rain was perfect!) I also played a little Wii Golf and Wii Bowling, which can be a little bit of a workout.

It was even somewhat quiet since we sent the Monster Munchkin off to visit Grammy and Grandad. But yeah, from the diet/weight loss perspective, not a great weekend. A lot of fun, of course, but not productive towards my goals.

:sigh:

Internet Withdrawl

2008-09-04T15:20:00.001-04:00

My internet was out all last week. The cable company finally got around to fixing it on Saturday, but that was the hubby's birthday, so that didn't help me get a blog in... and then there was the Mad Keyboard Milk Disaster.

My infant woke up while I was fiddling with the cable modem, and Little Miss Ninja Fingers slid off her beanbag chair and crawled over to my keyboard as silent as you please. It was like a slow motion moment in the movies, where I looked over to see my milk precariously on edge and tipping slowly over my keyboard. And she has amazing aim, apparently. Almost all of it landed in the keyboard itself, somehow.

I figured, "Well, it already has a FULL glass of milk in it... how could I top that?" So I ran it under the sink and popped it into the dryer -- on a drying rack on "No Heat" of course. But yeah, it's gone to that keyboard heaven in the sky. So Tuesday night, I dropped into WalMart and bought a new one.

And here we are, wired again!

Back on topic: last week, I promised to post my calories, and I have them right here. I think I did fairly well last week. Lots of good exercise, eating within moderation, even though I'm craving chocolate chip cookies so badly I could scream. And there are THREE packs of Oreos from the birthday celebrations sitting on my counter, and I haven't eaten any this week. I'd consider that a success in and of itself.

At least it looks like a good week by the numbers.

My Net Caloric Intake:
MONDAY = -585 Calories
TUESDAY = -775 Calories
WEDNESDAY = -158 Calories
THURSDAY = -1061 Calories
FRIDAY = -453 Calories

All in all, looks pretty decent, huh? And then the weekend happened. All I can say is Birthday Calories shouldn't count -- even if it's not your birthday.

But that's for another blog, I guess.

Audible at the Line, v. Tuesday

2008-08-26T12:35:00.000-04:00

So last night, I did not make it to the Step'N Sculpt class. My dance instructor called and said he had a last minute cancellation for 8:45pm, so I jumped on it. I haven't had a lesson in WEEKS, and it's been killing me. Not only that, but hopefully I will also have one on Friday!

I need more stamina though. I run out of energy way before I should, and I start thinking about just stepping and not everything that goes into the step. My muscles also aren't strong enough to give me good control when I'm running out of energy, and between the lack of strength and not thinking about my technique, everything gets really sloppy.

I have a Mini-Match coming up, and I'd like to be able to give it my best. Unfortunately, that means I need more practice, somehow, so I can try to remember the smaller details that make the dances look good. And my posture. Practice would definitely help me with my posture, so I wouldn't look like a turtle humped over all the time. Good posture would also make the turns and crossovers much easier to do and handle. Right now, I'm constantly leaning forward which offsets my center of gravity and makes it nearly impossible to do a decent turn, much less a solo turn when I don't have a partner to depend on.

That being said, I am going to try to hit the spin class tonight, and get in some extra cardio, even though I've already been to the "Walk to Run" Class, and the weightlifting class.

The Walk to Run class was nice this morning. Even though I'm not a runner, it was great to get outside. It was lightly drizzling, and the air was fresh and cool. Just perfect for going outside and getting active and hot. That light sprinkle and cool breeze keep you from getting over-heated, and with it being overcast, it wasn't too bright that I was worried about getting too much sun. When you usually blend in with the drywall, that tends to be a real problem.

The run intervals were perfect though -- 45 seconds of running for every three minutes of walking. But they're going to change, unfortunately. The class is to help people get geared up for running without over-doing it. I don't know if I want to run, per say, but it's definitely good for me to have variety in my workouts, and running definitely counts as cardio. So we'll see how that goes.

I also did the weightlifting class this morning. It's a little depressing to think that at one point I could do a pull-up, no problem, and now it's an effort just to lift my shoulders off the floor when I'm laying down under a bar. But the good news is, for some of the sets, I'm ready to go up in weight. They weren't easy, but I had some more to give. Not all of the sets were that way, of course. Some were insanely hard to get through; some sets my muscles even quit on me -- which exactly what I need. I need to find that upper limit and push it. It's the only way I'm going to increase my stamina and my physical abilities.

Calorie posting will happen later in the week. I've got a little notebook I'm toting around everywhere writing down what I'm eating, so fear not. I'm not going to cheat you. Speaking of calories, I NEED LUNCH!

Let the Calorie-Counting Begin.

2008-08-25T13:50:00.000-04:00

The pimento cheese is finally gone, along with two boxes of Kashi Honey Sesame Crackers and 75% of a box of Sun-Dried Tomato Wheathins. (Iknow, I know, I have a carb addiction, but that's for another article, another time!) So, despite having my husband's birthday this coming weekend, the calorie counting will begin, as promised.

I did make it to the cardio combo class again today, and I hope to get in something else by the end of the day... however I'm not sure how good that's looking, because my daughter is currently asleep on top of me, after wailing her lungs out for a good hour. Poor kid is teething, so I gave her some ibuprofen, but she seems pretty miserable still. She even whimpered in her sleep.

But that doesn't mean it's out of the question. I do have a plan for dinner, so there's a point in my favor... although Sleeping Beauty's current location isn't going to help me out. But we'll see.

The weekend went fairly okay, food-wise. We went to the waterpark, and I said no to the Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich, the funnel cake, the fries, the hotdogs, and the rest of it... so I think I did pretty good... okay, okay, there were Outback Cheese Fries on Friday, but that wasn't my fault!!! The manager gave them to us because we waited FOREVER! How am I supposed to say no to FREE cheese fries??? I did manage to not order the Alice Springs Chicken though...

But overall, I'm back down five pounds. I never thought I'd say it, but thank God for water weight. I have six to go before I'm back to where I was a few weeks ago, but if I can hit the spin classes a few more times, I think that's possible.

Tomorrow's goal: 9am Walk to Run Class and the 5pm Cycle Class.

To Yoga or Not To Yoga

2008-08-22T11:54:00.000-04:00

Apparently, it's "not" for today. I showed up about 2 minutes too late, so I had to "audible at the line" as my husband would say. You can really tell my brain wasn't working yet, because when I walked by the Cardio Kick Class at 9:05am, I thought, "Oh hey, CARDIO. Sure, why not?" However, I did fail to notice the instructor was wearing her army-drill-sergeant-green shirt.

I might be able to walk tomorrow.

Actually, I'm doing okay right now, but that's exactly what I was thinking during the class. Er, okay, maybe not exactly... there might have been a few choice words inserted here and there, but it's close.

Ultimately it's a good thing, though. While I do love the yoga class and the instructor -- she has this mellow dream-like voice that practically coaxes you into a coma -- what I need is weight-lifting and cardio, more than core strength if I want to lose weight. And if I'm sweating and having to push myself? That's exactly what's going to happen. (Or so I keep telling myself. The blog will tell.)

So today, it was 45 minutes of cardio kick (300 calories), 15 minutes of stretching, and another 40 minutes on the elliptical (375 calories). So that's 675 calories burned today, and it's just barely noon. BOO-YAH, people!

Back in the Saddle

2008-08-22T07:39:00.000-04:00

So Thursday, I finally got to my first spin class. Okay, that's not true. I went one other time, about six months ago. I think my poor brain is trying to blot out the experience. Not that this one was much better. I am stronger from the weight lifting classes I've been taking, which made it less difficult, but it's really hard to get that "feel good" feeling when your butt is flapping behind you like a jello mold in a sack whenever you take a downstroke... or an upstroke... or stand up on the bike... or -- nevermind; you get what I'm saying. You'd think, though, with all that flab, that seat would be a little more comfortable.

While definitely not the best feeling in the world, it's just like all the other classes I've taken: go back and it will get better. If it gets better, then I'm getting what I need, right? I feel a little lousy that the whole time my resistance was barely cranked over, and the instructor -- an insanely cute, adorably sweet, tiny little blond who started out class by saying "Wow, it's such a shame to be inside today; it's perfect outside for a nice 20 miles" -- kept screaming things like, "Now give that knob just one more half turn!" Of course this is 20 minutes into the class, after I realized if I even looked mine too much, I couldn't get the wheels to turn.

But again, every class will get better.

So after 45 minutes of spin (350 calories), another 10 minutes of ab work, I decided to go home, have some dinner with my hubby, and then go dancing. I got my heartbeat up pretty good there, too. Cha-cha, salsa, swing... even the tango is a good workout (150 calories). All in all, I think I did some good work for myself yesterday.

In other news, I had an ultrasound yesterday, too. (Yeah, I was a busy girl.) I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. It's about 3cm, and my ovary is swollen to three times its normal size. It's supposed to go away on its own -- in about a month. It's no big deal, really. It's just uncomfortable from time to time. But I'm also hoping this mad hormonalness has contributed to my excessive weight gain lately.

Today is yoga, though, so I need to throw in some aerobics or weightlifting on top of it. I'm dressed, my kid is dressed, and even somewhat packed up, so as long as I don't fall asleep, I should be able to make it to the gym.