My Vacation!

I mean, Ava's First Day of Parent's Day Out!

I enrolled Ava in an Mother's Day Out (MDO) program at a local church here, and it starts at 9am, and goes until 2pm. I am thrilled! Ava? I'm pretty sure she had a good time, although she cried a bit when I dropped her off. I was a little surprised, though. She's not usually clingy. But it was nice, honestly. The last few days, she's been really excited to see me when I pick her up from the nursery at the Y, which has been nice, too. She bounces along as she runs, and her little curls bounce too. It's adorable.

But I was so excited about my day off, I went home and... did dishes? Actually, I took a long glorious, uninterrupted shower, got dressed, ate some lunch, dozed a little... and then did dishes. I tried to clean the bathroom a little too. The house is still a wreck. It seems like it takes us a whole weekend to get it straight and then 15 minutes with Cutezilla running around to demolish it.

:sigh:

I made it to Zumba this morning, which was my second real aerobic workout all week. My efforts on Monday were thwarted by an appetizer at Chili's. Okay, I ordered the Crispy Chicken Tacos, too. That was my own fault... but still! I did really well on Monday, aside from that tiny little detail. And I did really well today. Zumba, weightlifting, the elliptical, and more dance. I think I ate okay too, for a change.

But we'll see. I was looking in the mirror at dance, and I know I'm wearing some extra layers because it's been cold... but still, I shouldn't look 4 months pregnant. :meh: That's been kind of depressing. But I'm going to try and stick with the workout and be good about the food, and pray something happens here in the next two months or so.

I did some equating yesterday, and if all the weigh I'm carrying is fat (it's not 100% but it's not a low number either), then I am carrying the equivalent of forty sticks of butter. Did you get that? FORTY. Do me a favor, so you really understand. Go to the store. Pick up a 4-pack of butter. Now pick up one more. And now two more. Now try to imagine, while standing there juggling four packages of butter in your hands, 16 more of those, and that's what I'm carrying around.

And yes, some of it has shaped up, and for that I'm immensely thankful... but I'm still 20 pounds more than before I got pregnant. What the hell is it? Where did it come from and WHY IS IT STICKING AROUND??? Like I said, if I gain muscle, I'll weigh more that before I got pregnant, and I'm okay with that. But, if my extra weight was all muscle? I would look insanely AMAZING. I'd be so ripped, you'd be able to see my toe muscles individually.

So please wish me luck in the next few months. It really bothers me, and honestly I need to go shopping for clothes, but whenever I try on things, I just see how badly I look, and everything looks terrible on me. I desperately need to clean out my closet too, but I don't want to do it until I can go shopping and not feel miserable.

On the upside, we have a babysitter for tomorrow, and I'm going to scrapbook tomorrow. I've got my box all packed, organized, and ready to go. I also finished invitations for a friend's baby shower, and I think they look pretty cute. I did a few crafty things to send along with the invites for the shower too, so I'm pretty excited about that. I managed another blog entry, and went dancing tonight... all good stuff.

We're going skiing in a few weeks, which will be awesome! I haven't been in years, and it will be so fantastic to have snow and be able to get out and have some fun in it. I'm also finally feeling some better, and my cold -- while still not gone -- is a lot better. So, lots of good things going on. I just need to think about the good things, not persist on the bad, and keep trying to do what I can.

Slowly, Slowly

But it's happening! I feel better about how I look now than I have in MONTHS. Probably in almost a year, and I've gotten some nice comments lately. I bought some jeans about a week and a half ago, and they're a little more loose than I like to wear. I thought they were tight when I first tried them on, but jeans are apparently pretty stretchy... so I bought a size smaller last night!

Mind you it was an effort getting my butt into them this afternoon, but they're less tight today than they were when I went to buy jeans the first time. And like I said, they'll probably stretch a little as I wear them, like the other pair did.

Overall, I haven't made any significant progress that I haven't already reported. My "high" weight keeps coming down though, even if my "low" weight hasn't dropped at all. I'll still consider that a success, especially when you combine it with the jeans and the comments. I'd still like to drop five to eight more pounds, though. It won't put me at the weight I started at when I first got pregnant, but that's okay. Again, I've put on some muscle, and muscle weighs 25% more than fat. I'd be really interested to find out how muscle and fat compare in volume though. No one ever has that stat available, you know?

But the other good news is that the hubby decided to join me in my dietary pursuits, and I'm pretty excited about it. It'll give me a good reason to hang in there for these last few pounds, and not cheat. The better I feel, the harder it is, so having the hubby on board with me is really going to help me there.

As part of a small change-up, I've been going outside to walk the outdoor track. Okay, it's less of an intentional change-up, than it is a back-up plan when I can't get my butt out of bed, like this morning. It's been COLD down here the past few days. We went from the mild beginnings of fall to WINTER. But it's at least been nice to get outside for a change. I even jogged a very short couple of stints during my four miles. And I managed to get all four done in one hour flat.

So all in all, good stuff. And even if it's happening more slowly than I'd like, it's going faster than it had been. I'll call that progress!

Post, er, I mean, Ode to the Hubby

My husband ROCKS. Of course he might have been trying to make up for the fact that he was leaving me alone with Cutezilla for the night and most of tomorrow... but still! How often do yo get to wake up to real breakfast in bed? And not just a doughnut they picked up somewhere and threw at you from the door. I'm talking a hot, freshly-made, sausage and cheese omelet with a tall glass of orange juice!

Like I said. It was awesome.

This week has gone pretty well, overall. So far. Knock on wood.

Monday, I took the booger to the doctor to see if she had an ear infection, and thankfully, she does not. It's just teething that's bothering her, and she's getting in four, possibly five larger back teeth. I'm not sure if they're molars or whatever, but any way you look at it, it can't be fun.

Since I missed the gym due to the doctor's appointment, I had a dance lesson that evening and the hubby helped me pick out a pair of jeans so I don't freeze to death while it's cold out. I had gone to the mall earlier that afternoon, but all of the jeans seem so overpriced... $40 - $60 seems WAY too much to pay for a pair of jeans I don't want to spend a lot of time in, you know?

Not only that, but one of the sales people tried to help me feel better by saying, "But HONEY, you've had a BABY! Your body may NEVER go back to the way it was." I'm really not sure how that's supposed to be encouraging, but it's not. My brain translates that into "Why are you bothering to even try to lose this weight? Just give up now and be satisfied with only feeling okay when you get dressed, instead of ever feeling GREAT again." So definitely not what I would call encouraging. Especially when I've taken into account the broad range of my relatives and their recoveries... it seems realistic for me to be able to get some back of what I lost.

But after recovering some, the hubby was really sweet and bought me some fingerless gloves at target, which are pretty cute, and was super sweet about the jeans thing. I bought a pair at Target for $32, which seems much more reasonable to me. And my "high" weight of the day has been dropping downward, which of course is awesome. So I don't feel as lousy as I did on Monday afternoon. Actually, I feel pretty good.

Yesterday, I hit the weightlifting class, and did okay. I still need to get up to the 15 pound weights in the next few months because the Monster Munchkin weighs 24 pounds... and on a good day I'm using 12 pound weights. So I definitely have a goal there. I think it'll be easier once I go back to eating carbs, though.

I did the Step & Sculpt class today, and it kicked my butt. I didn't have much in the way of any carbs, and I need those to have the energy for classes. I've been trying to get something in before class, but today, I scaled back... okay, I ran out of crackers, so I scaled back, but not really by choice, exactly.

On the upside, though, now I know I need more before class, and that it's okay. And the jeans I found are a size 8, which is smaller than the 10's I've been wearing, so that was also nice. Not the size 4's I've got upstairs, but it's definitely a move in the right direction.

And now I need to go jump in the shower while I still have a minute to myself before Cutezilla wakes up.

Week Summary: Progress!

So I checked my weight again today. This morning, I was back up a little, but hey, there's variance in everything, right? The booger woke up at a fairly decent hour... still too early for me, honestly, but then, I'd probably sleep all day, given a good chance. But last night I slept through the whole night. My daughter? Not so much. And I'm afraid I found out through the hubby, who apparently got up with her more than once... My maternal instincts are not exactly what people thought they would be.

Anyway, since I actually slept last night, when I got up, I was feeling good enough to head straight to the gym! I made it into yoga without getting the evil eye for being late. (Don't mess with the yoga people. They're very serious about it!) It was another great class -- totally perfect for what I needed today too: leg stretches and relaxation. Then I hung out for a few minutes, chatted with some people, jumped on the elliptical for a few minutes, and came home.

The Sleepless Wonder wasn't ready for a nap yet, so we had a snack, and then a little while later, I dropped her into the car. She was so exhausted I hadn't left the neighborhood when she knocked out cold! It was awesome! Then I headed back home, decided I needed a shower, and hopped on the scales... to find I had dropped another three pounds! I may go back up over the weekend, but I'll have less to work off than I did last week and the week before... so overall, I'm pretty pleased today.

Technically this puts me being within 14 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight, but I don't think I'll get there. Honestly, before, I had no muscle at all, and with lifting Ava and the classes I'm taking, I know I'm putting some on, and I'm happy with that. I think a more realistic goal is probably in the five to eight pound range.

Next weekend is a grappling mini-seminar before we go watch the next UFC fight, and I think I might even let myself have some celebratory pancakes or waffles in the morning before I go, if I do well next week. That class ought to be a fairly good workout if I actually get to grapple. All the boys are bigger than me, which makes it really difficult for me, but also it'll be a good test of skill.

If anyone's wondering, grappling is like wrestling, but with less rules. I'm actually looking forward to getting Ava into it, since there are some really valuable self-defense skills to get out of it. And it's a LOT of fun, too.

New Goal

I was thinking this week, that the little Monster Munchkin gets a little fussy in the afternoons, and after some musing upon the subject, I realized she wasn't getting enough playtime with me at home. As a result, I decided that maybe we should do more playing. I'm still getting in my workouts, but the afternoons will probably be a little less trip-bound, I think.

Monday we ended up going to the mall, and yes, I did some shopping, but we also stopped at the play area, and I let her explore. She climbed the stairs to the slide and went down quite a few times... and then decided it was more fun to go up the wrong way. She's definitely my kid! We also got an afternoon walk around the block, and she really seemed to enjoy it.

Tuesday, we just hung out in the house, ran around, played with the "gumball" machine, and then took another walk around the neighborhood.

This morning, she woke up and her daddy went up to get her... unfortunately, she must have thought she was going to get to spend the whole day with him, because she SCREAMED when he tried to give her to me. She had a nice little death grip on his clothes and refused to let go. For another half-an-hour after he left, all she did was cry. I figured it was partially the teething, so finally I drugged her with Motrin, and she seemed to feel better after that. Teething Season sucks!

After our nice round of screaming, a trip to the nursery so I could get my butt kicked by the aerobics instructor, and a nice two-hour nap, we played in the house and ran around, and during our walk, we stopped in at a couple of the neighbors' homes to say hello. We got to play with a GIGANTIC black lab who didn't quite "get" that Ava was 1/5th his size, at best, and kept rubbing up against her to get her to play with him... and knocked her over. She didn't seem to mind, either. Just over she'd go, arms flailing, and then she'd use the dog to get herself back on her feet. Very amusing.

One of the other neighbors was out with her 22-month-old named Emma -- not to be confused with our OTHER next-door-neighbor's little girl named Emma -- and we stopped to play for a few minutes, and they exchanged hugs and kisses, which was really sweet. Really surprising too, but really cool.

I also promised the hubby tonight that he could get a break, so I took Ava to the nursery while I had a wonderfully relaxing yoga class. The instructor said my form was pretty decent, which was really nice to hear. He also rubs our feet during the meditation at the end! It's like heaven! When I picked Ava up at the nursery, she seemed to have a great time too playing with the other little kids. It took me fifteen minutes to get her to leave with me, and even then, I had to pry her off the furniture.

I'd like to think that as a reward, apparently I got to ditch FIVE POUNDS of this water weight I've been toting around lately. I hope I can keep it off. All in all, though, I think Ava's been some happier, despite the teething, so I think it's a good move for both of us.

The Yo-Yo

Ever hear that joke about ADD kids?

Joke: "How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

Answer: "Wanna go ride bikes?"

Yeah, it's a bit like that inside this little brain of mine. For every decision I come up with, I rethink it six different times and come up with twelve more options... repeat process. Dieting and exercise is apparently no different.

I started the low-carb thing, right? The South Beach Diet, because I've been flatlined in my weight since, well, let's be honest. OCTOBER. I started working out in February, and I thought, you know what? Screw calorie counting, I need to work out. I know what's a sensible meal, and what's not. I can NOT eat at Outback every week. That's reasonable, right?

And then when May rolled around, oh GUESS WHAT? Still at the same weight, and my clothes still fit moderately the same. Great. Zero net progress.

So I went to the doctor about it, because I was driving the hubby INSANE over it. And let's be fair. I have a slight propensity to obsess over things. Hardly even noticeable.

So the doc says, hey, no big deal. I've got some meds. Sometimes a girl's metabolism gets shot when she has a baby. It's not unusual.

So I take the meds. And I lose another ten pounds. (Actually I started losing the weight after I got a 24 hour stomach bug and tossed my cookies and drank nothing but Gatorade for a full day and a half. Ain't viruses great?) I decided to go off of them, mainly because I would get lightheaded if I forgot to eat, and it was the sort of lightheadedness where a little red light starts blinking in your head that says, "For the love of God, you idiot, don't DRIVE!"

I kept the ten pounds for a little while, and then my in-laws and a series of other events came around, and I gained BACK the ten pounds. Plus a little. How this is possible after skipping ONE WEEK, I will never know. I think, "Okay, I guess maybe I need to do more." So I started doing more classes. More variety.

The scale? Same numbers.

I do three classes in a day. For a WEEK.

The scale? SAME FREAKING NUMBERS.

So I got depressed, and reminded myself I needed to get back to it, otherwise I will never see the bottom side of that number. So I started the blog, to give me some incentive. Can you guess what happened then? You betcha. SAME THREE STINKIN' NUMBERS.

And then I had my little [unrelated] visit to the GI Doc. He suggested low-carb, and I said, "Yeah, okay, why not? I haven't tried that, at least."

Only problem is that with working out, you need the carbs. I'm dragging butt so badly in class, I can barely get through one workout, much less two or even just the elliptical. So I did some reading today (after I destroyed the kitchen with my daughter and actually reassembled the whole thing; go me!), and apparently I can have some carbs. Low-fat yogurt, oatmeal, or pumpernickel bread. (How they came to pumpernickel bread, I'll never know. Why not something standard, like, say, Indonesian flatbread from Jakarta?)

So tomorrow, I'll try to get some carbs in before I workout. I have some oatmeal, but it's instant. But I could possibly get to eat one of my Kashi cereals in the pantry. Kashi is supposed to be a low-glycemic load food. I would have to guess so, seeing that one of the cereals has 25g of carbs per serving, but only 5 of that is sugar, 5 more is fiber, and the rest is listed as "other." The new one I bought, Vive, has 43g of carbs, 10 from sugar, and 12 from fiber.

I'm sort of conflicted, though, because the scales finally moved. How can I really argue with any progress at all, after looking at the same three numbers on my scale for almost 10 months?

Oh, and by the way: I made it to a cycle class today!

Today I Feel... Good?

It's been weird, but all day, I've been feeling pretty good. I got up, made myself an omelet (which is pretty miraculous in and of itself), got the diaper bag properly restocked, finished cycling my laundry, wrote an email or two, and got to the gym by 10:30 for my cardio/weightlifting class.

During class, too, I was looking at myself in the mirror -- normally a horrendously BAD idea -- but today it seemed like I looked a little less frumpy, I guess. The scales dropped back down, too. That's always variable, though. There is about three pounds variance in my weight from morning to evening, usually, depending on what I ate and did. I'm trying to drink lots of water, too, and today I think I did okay there, too.

I had a dance lesson, and my instructor liked my dress. He said it fit well, and didn't look like it would flare up too badly on the turns. The straps are pretty secure, too, which is nice. I can't keep a strap on my shoulders unless it's literally glued there. (And as luck would have it, I'm allergic to the "glue" -- double-sided adhesive tape.) I was feeling pretty decent even before I went to my dance lesson, though.

I got on the elliptical again today, and did almost 4 miles, which burned 400 calories. I'm going to try for the early cycle class tomorrow, but it's hard to get to that 9am class on time for me... but I'm going to give it my best shot, and the diaper bag is already packed.

I even made breakfast tonight, for the rest of the week. Turkey sausage crustless quiches with cheese. The turkey tastes awesome, too! I actually ate the leftovers as a snack. The recipe called for 1/4th cup turkey sausage for 6 cups. The turkey only comes in one POUND packages, so I had more than enough for a full muffin pan. But I added more meat, since I'm getting tired of eggs already. I've had at least three omelets since Thursday, and I've had to buy another dozen eggs.

Tonight, though, I made parmesan chicken, which turned out really tasty. I was really surprised at how good it was. I used a container of parmesan cheese as "breading," added paprika, pepper, and italian seasonings, and baked it in the oven. No bread crumbs, and parmesan is moderately low in fat anyway.

I may have gotten carried away at the grocery store though. I picked up chicken -- which made tonight's meal, plus two others which are currently marinating in the fridge -- lean, thin-cut steak, mushrooms to stuff into the steak, and more mushrooms to be stuffed with spinach and cheese. But it's good that I'm really interested in what I'm making. I need to pick up some veggies here and there, too. I had some leftover asparagus tonight, at least. Not a lot, but it's something.

I still need to record my calories, and post them, but I'd actually like to get in bed before 1am, for a change. If my daughter takes a decent nap tomorrow, maybe I'll do it then. Cross your fingers for me.

I'll Have the Not Cool with a Side of Frustration

I had a realization today. On this day last year, I weighed 14 pounds heavier. Just 14 pounds. One full year. I lost 25 pounds in a month, mostly due to my little girl, and her accompanying luggage. She was 7 pounds, not quite eight, plus the placenta, and if I estimate it correctly enough liquids to fill a gallon-sized milk jug, plus some.

I was feeling some better yesterday, I guess. But then I went to see a Gastroenterologist. I've had weird nausea off and on, randomly for years. I had six months solid just after college where I couldn't think about eating before noon without yakking. And no, I wasn't pregnant. Trust me. My husband finally made me actually ask someone about it, so today, I found myself sitting in a very well appointed doctor's office with beautiful oak furniture and heavy ironwork decor, talking to a man I just met about subjects I won't admit to the hubby I do, and hopefully never will. (It's gastroenterology, folks. Think about it.)

But sometimes I get this weird unsettled feeling, instead of true nausea, and throughout most of my pregnancy I felt this way. Like I was compelled to put something on my stomach, even though I wasn't hungry. It just didn't feel okay, didn't feel full, even though I knew I was totally stuffed to the gills. (Anyone want to guess why I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy?)

The only thing the doctor could tell me was that there is nothing really wrong with my stomach, per say. However, he did feel like my random nausea was metabolically related. So I suppose on the upside, at least when it happens again, I can identify it, and write it down, instead of wondering "What IS that?"

On the downside, though, he did mention that in order to lose more weight, I might want to consider a low-carb diet. I have no idea how to go about this. I tried a low-carb diet for a week a very long time ago, and had such bad headaches and nausea, I just felt like I was falling apart.

I don't eat a lot of what people consider "bad" carbs -- rice, pasta, white bread -- and when I do eat carbs, it's usually whole grains with lots of fiber. However, if I snack, I'm usually desperate for a cracker. Breakfast is even worse. If I want to get out of the house at a decent time (or at all) , breakfast needs to be portable. I need to either be able to pour it into a bowl or rip open a package. Mostly, that means cereal or waffles or some other item that can be stuffed into a toaster.

I usually have Kashi Heart to Heart cereal, which is awesome, but it has 25g of carbs per each 3/4 cup serving. I'm also allergic to nuts, so most low-carb cereals are right out. The only breakfast bars I've ever been able to eat without a side helping of Benedryl have been Full Circle Organic Breakfast Bars. (The Apple Cobbler rocks, too, btw.)

Not only that but, I don't drink anything but milk, coffee, fruit juice and water. No soft drinks whatsoever, and not much tea lately... However, a 1/2 cup milk contains 11g of carbs, and fruit juice... well, yeah, that would have to go, no question. But what this means is if I quit carbs, that leaves me with... what? The water?

But honestly, my net progress in one year has been 14 pounds. That's a little less than one pound per month. In addition, I was here, at this exact weight on October 29th of last year, before I started back to the gym and workouts.

I get an eye-twitch just thinking about all of this. Not to mention I didn't go to the gym because I just didn't feel like it, and my parents were in town helping me with She Who Must Not Sleep, and gave me just enough excuse not to go. (She picked her own title. Believe me when I say my choice would have been different.)

It's so hard to look at my "results" and my input, and really feel good. I'm severely disheartened and frustrated. I guess in another week, I'll make a call on the low-carb diet, if the cycle/spin doesn't start to make some impact.

Week 2 Summary: THIS. SUCKS.

I have been feeling pretty confident about my workout schedule. I added cycling/spinning to my weekly routine, and I've been trying to do more weightlifting and aerobics in general. I thought I did okay last week. My caloric intake wasn't too bad, and aside from my car being invaded by a cockroach and preventing me from getting an official workout on Tuesday, I managed to burn a total of 4,064 calories.

Sure sounds like a lot, doesn't it?

My scales don't seem to think so. And okay, I haven't been on the more vigorous workout schedule for long, but maybe I was just hoping a little too hard. On top of which, during a belly dancing class I took, I just felt huge and awkward, and there were mirrors everywhere. I remember what I used to look like, and it just really seemed like I was nowhere near where I had been, so I was hugely depressed for most of the week about my weight. Not to mention when I went dancing on Thursday, none of my clothes fit well; they were all tight in the wrong places, and showed off everything I was trying to hide, and nothing looked good.

I still went to classes, though, and I still watched what I was eating. It is only the second week of the harder workouts. I just need to be patient, I hope.

The Extended Birthday-Holiday Eating Marathon

As I said before, birthday calories shouldn't count. Even if it's not your own. In fact, if you THROWING a bash for someone, that should count as a workout. No kidding. All that running around, getting things straight, getting things clean, setting up, decorating, cooking... definitely a workout. I was up until 1am on Friday getting things ready for the hubby's birthday. We had a tailgate-style birthday, since the hubby is a real Tiger Football fan -- Clemson, of course. Is there another team?

My buddy made FABULOUS ribs, in addition to the wings I baked. He makes a kick-ass sauce that has become my hubby's No. 1 Favorite... which would have been good information to have before I made sixteen trips to various grocery stores looking for the previous number one. But how can you surprise someone if you ask them what they want? It's kind of hard to slip in those questions and be sly about it, you know what I mean?

For having a ton of food available, I was pretty good, though. I had eight wings (baked), a small section of boneless ribs, two "bones" worth of boned ribs, cinnamon sugar sweet potato chips (don't ever try them; you can't ever get enough), two oreos, and a minor amount of Tennessee Sin Dip, which I made low-fat by using yogurt cheese instead of cream cheese.

Part of what did me in was that the English Country Tea House was closing, so we went and had High Tea with scones and tea sandwiches, and a few pieces of cake... and a traditional pasty. About 800 calories or more, I think. I didn't have much of the cakes though, so I was moderately well behaved. But since it was the last day they were going to be open, my poor husband had to deal with an English Tea for lunch on his birthday. Fortunately for him, our buddy Rock was in town, and just his mere presence can level the playing field in the Estrogen versus Testosterone Battle, no matter how many girls you have in the room... or the building...

So to sum up the Labor Day / Hubby Birthday Weekend, my caloric intake for each day was as follows:

Friday: 1200 Calories
Saturday: 3166 Calories
Sunday: 2351 Calories
Monday: 1855 Calories

I did play a little golf, though. The course is fairly hilly, and I did carry my clubs, so that's something of a workout, even if we did have to quit at the Eighth Hole because of rain. (It was a really delicious day to be out, honestly. The rain was perfect!) I also played a little Wii Golf and Wii Bowling, which can be a little bit of a workout.

It was even somewhat quiet since we sent the Monster Munchkin off to visit Grammy and Grandad. But yeah, from the diet/weight loss perspective, not a great weekend. A lot of fun, of course, but not productive towards my goals.

:sigh:

Back in the Saddle

So Thursday, I finally got to my first spin class. Okay, that's not true. I went one other time, about six months ago. I think my poor brain is trying to blot out the experience. Not that this one was much better. I am stronger from the weight lifting classes I've been taking, which made it less difficult, but it's really hard to get that "feel good" feeling when your butt is flapping behind you like a jello mold in a sack whenever you take a downstroke... or an upstroke... or stand up on the bike... or -- nevermind; you get what I'm saying. You'd think, though, with all that flab, that seat would be a little more comfortable.

While definitely not the best feeling in the world, it's just like all the other classes I've taken: go back and it will get better. If it gets better, then I'm getting what I need, right? I feel a little lousy that the whole time my resistance was barely cranked over, and the instructor -- an insanely cute, adorably sweet, tiny little blond who started out class by saying "Wow, it's such a shame to be inside today; it's perfect outside for a nice 20 miles" -- kept screaming things like, "Now give that knob just one more half turn!" Of course this is 20 minutes into the class, after I realized if I even looked mine too much, I couldn't get the wheels to turn.

But again, every class will get better.

So after 45 minutes of spin (350 calories), another 10 minutes of ab work, I decided to go home, have some dinner with my hubby, and then go dancing. I got my heartbeat up pretty good there, too. Cha-cha, salsa, swing... even the tango is a good workout (150 calories). All in all, I think I did some good work for myself yesterday.

In other news, I had an ultrasound yesterday, too. (Yeah, I was a busy girl.) I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. It's about 3cm, and my ovary is swollen to three times its normal size. It's supposed to go away on its own -- in about a month. It's no big deal, really. It's just uncomfortable from time to time. But I'm also hoping this mad hormonalness has contributed to my excessive weight gain lately.

Today is yoga, though, so I need to throw in some aerobics or weightlifting on top of it. I'm dressed, my kid is dressed, and even somewhat packed up, so as long as I don't fall asleep, I should be able to make it to the gym.

Introduction

Last Friday was my daughter's first birthday. I stay at home with her, and we hang out and have some fun most of the time... but I have not lost all of my pregnancy weight. I weigh more today than my normal averages before I got pregnant, and honestly, I'm severely depressed about it.

I have made some progress since last August. I gained 60 pounds, and I'm down 35, and I should be pleased with that... but for a short while I was on a better track -- down 45 -- and after a wonderful visit with my in-laws, way too much good food, and my daughter's birthday, I'm back up 10 pounds. Not cool.

However, I hit the 35 pound mark way back in November. It took me six months to get to the 45 mark, and now that I'm back at the 35 pound mark, I've honestly lost my motivation and momentum.

So this week, I decided to blog about it, to record what I've been doing and encourage myself to keep going back to the gym, and to do more than what I've been doing. I can do more. I can find the time. This weight will come off. At the very least I will be getting back into my favorite jeans. In addition I will be recording my calories, both intake and burned, in a Google spreadsheet. Unfortunately I'll just be going to the gym this week, because since it was my daughter's birthday, my fridge is PACKED with things like pimento cheese and barbecue.

Not just any pimento cheese. This is my family's pimento cheese. My grandfather used to make it at his pharmacy in Batesburg, SC. It's fantastic. Definitely not the average crap you buy at the grocery store. I love this stuff. So until it's gone, I'll just be working my butt off at the gym, instead of reminding myself how bad this delicious stuff is for me.

But I've done okay this week, so far. I went to an aerobics and weight-lifting class on Monday, Tuesday I walked 2.5 miles, and yesterday I was on the elliptical for 40 minutes, and swam 14 laps in the pool. At least I think it was fourteen. I lose my count here and there , so I miss a few on occasion... But it was definitely a minimum of twelve!

So here we go people. Wish me luck.