I'll Have the Not Cool with a Side of Frustration

I had a realization today. On this day last year, I weighed 14 pounds heavier. Just 14 pounds. One full year. I lost 25 pounds in a month, mostly due to my little girl, and her accompanying luggage. She was 7 pounds, not quite eight, plus the placenta, and if I estimate it correctly enough liquids to fill a gallon-sized milk jug, plus some.

I was feeling some better yesterday, I guess. But then I went to see a Gastroenterologist. I've had weird nausea off and on, randomly for years. I had six months solid just after college where I couldn't think about eating before noon without yakking. And no, I wasn't pregnant. Trust me. My husband finally made me actually ask someone about it, so today, I found myself sitting in a very well appointed doctor's office with beautiful oak furniture and heavy ironwork decor, talking to a man I just met about subjects I won't admit to the hubby I do, and hopefully never will. (It's gastroenterology, folks. Think about it.)

But sometimes I get this weird unsettled feeling, instead of true nausea, and throughout most of my pregnancy I felt this way. Like I was compelled to put something on my stomach, even though I wasn't hungry. It just didn't feel okay, didn't feel full, even though I knew I was totally stuffed to the gills. (Anyone want to guess why I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy?)

The only thing the doctor could tell me was that there is nothing really wrong with my stomach, per say. However, he did feel like my random nausea was metabolically related. So I suppose on the upside, at least when it happens again, I can identify it, and write it down, instead of wondering "What IS that?"

On the downside, though, he did mention that in order to lose more weight, I might want to consider a low-carb diet. I have no idea how to go about this. I tried a low-carb diet for a week a very long time ago, and had such bad headaches and nausea, I just felt like I was falling apart.

I don't eat a lot of what people consider "bad" carbs -- rice, pasta, white bread -- and when I do eat carbs, it's usually whole grains with lots of fiber. However, if I snack, I'm usually desperate for a cracker. Breakfast is even worse. If I want to get out of the house at a decent time (or at all) , breakfast needs to be portable. I need to either be able to pour it into a bowl or rip open a package. Mostly, that means cereal or waffles or some other item that can be stuffed into a toaster.

I usually have Kashi Heart to Heart cereal, which is awesome, but it has 25g of carbs per each 3/4 cup serving. I'm also allergic to nuts, so most low-carb cereals are right out. The only breakfast bars I've ever been able to eat without a side helping of Benedryl have been Full Circle Organic Breakfast Bars. (The Apple Cobbler rocks, too, btw.)

Not only that but, I don't drink anything but milk, coffee, fruit juice and water. No soft drinks whatsoever, and not much tea lately... However, a 1/2 cup milk contains 11g of carbs, and fruit juice... well, yeah, that would have to go, no question. But what this means is if I quit carbs, that leaves me with... what? The water?

But honestly, my net progress in one year has been 14 pounds. That's a little less than one pound per month. In addition, I was here, at this exact weight on October 29th of last year, before I started back to the gym and workouts.

I get an eye-twitch just thinking about all of this. Not to mention I didn't go to the gym because I just didn't feel like it, and my parents were in town helping me with She Who Must Not Sleep, and gave me just enough excuse not to go. (She picked her own title. Believe me when I say my choice would have been different.)

It's so hard to look at my "results" and my input, and really feel good. I'm severely disheartened and frustrated. I guess in another week, I'll make a call on the low-carb diet, if the cycle/spin doesn't start to make some impact.

Week 2 Summary: THIS. SUCKS.

I have been feeling pretty confident about my workout schedule. I added cycling/spinning to my weekly routine, and I've been trying to do more weightlifting and aerobics in general. I thought I did okay last week. My caloric intake wasn't too bad, and aside from my car being invaded by a cockroach and preventing me from getting an official workout on Tuesday, I managed to burn a total of 4,064 calories.

Sure sounds like a lot, doesn't it?

My scales don't seem to think so. And okay, I haven't been on the more vigorous workout schedule for long, but maybe I was just hoping a little too hard. On top of which, during a belly dancing class I took, I just felt huge and awkward, and there were mirrors everywhere. I remember what I used to look like, and it just really seemed like I was nowhere near where I had been, so I was hugely depressed for most of the week about my weight. Not to mention when I went dancing on Thursday, none of my clothes fit well; they were all tight in the wrong places, and showed off everything I was trying to hide, and nothing looked good.

I still went to classes, though, and I still watched what I was eating. It is only the second week of the harder workouts. I just need to be patient, I hope.